bethanythemartian



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  1. Rec *

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    “Heil Hydra,” the enemy agent shouts. 

    “Heil this, motherfucker,” says Captain America, shooting off a rocket.

    Steve and Bucky find out Hollywood has been busy since they went away. A historical survey, including but not limited to: one set of exploded genitals, a brief interlude in France, Mel Gibson and other masterworks of casting, eight Academy awards, several dinosaurs, and something Tony Stark has ominously dubbed “the masterpiece.” Art included.

    ETA: Hello, I fixed this by taking it out of all collections. Apologies to those of you who had marked it in open or public ones, someone put it in a private collection and it disappeared, prompting a floor of despair in my inboxes on multiple platforms. If this has appeared as a new work, that's just AO3's default move for revealing 'unrevealed' stories. It has not been edited, save for this note. P.S. If you are adding works to collections please make sure the collection is public! -- Nat (Febricant)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
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    Comments:
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    11 Nov 2017

  2. Rec *

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    In which Bucky is the new kid, Steve is the square who takes him in, Tony and Pepper fight over valedictorian a year in advance, Thor remains a golden god, Loki remains a drama queen, Natasha commits an act of vigilante justice, Clint somehow fails to make a your mom joke, Darcy is a Satanist, Jane is a goth, Sif is fine thank you very much, Sam climbs a tree, Peggy says no, Rumlow is a bully, and Mrs. Rogers, Mr. Coulson, and Ms. Hill are all very long-suffering.

    Or: the story of the year Bucky Barnes finally learned how to talk to at least one other human being, discovered J. D. Salinger, started to try in school (kind of), got a haircut, landed a punch, almost got arrested, and kissed a boy on the mouth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    91,713
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    523
    Kudos:
    2370
    Bookmarks:
    1172
    Hits:
    95220

    11 Nov 2017

  3. Rec *

    Words:
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    Works:
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    Bookmarks:
    1102

    10 Nov 2017

  4. Rec *

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    Steve has his life in order, okay. He goes to wizard college, even if he can't technically do magic. He has his own apartment, even though it's small and dinky and kind of gross, and forgets to exist sometimes, and might also be alive? Plus, he has a crush on the hot cyborg in unit 404 who cooks fiendishly good breakfast foods, and may or may not have some kind of weird connection to the sentient building they live in. He's not sure.

    He's dealing, all right, his life is in tip-top condition, or it was until an eldritch monstrosity called the Hydra started posing as a real estate company to try and buy over his new home.

    He's really pissed about that.

    (The one where Steve is an angry millennial wizard, Sam is a Disney prince, Natasha is a shapeshifter, and Bucky is a spoiler.)

    Language:
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    28 Aug 2017

  5. Rec 43

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    "The house has good bones"

    In which Bucky Barnes emerges from cryofreeze, gets therapy, buys a house, some chickens and a few horses, and finds himself under the care of a few capable women and one capable girl; and in which Steve Rogers comes home.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,149
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    171
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    1398

    02 Aug 2017