1 - 20 of 351 Works by beetle

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    This time wasn’t going to be like last time. This time . . . this time, he was going to get the job. Going to make a good impression on whatever uptight, snot-rocket, pretentious Heathcliff owned this Wuthering Shites-pile of stones, and finally, finally—for at least the rest of the school year, hopefully—he and Ellie were going to have a safe and stable place to hang their baseball caps.

    For DarkWrittenWords: a bright and kindred spirit and a hell of an ARTZ-ist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,710
    Chapters:
    2/19
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    266
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When Reyes Vidal opens the door to the apartment he shares with his two roommates, he expects to confront a lost pizza delivery person or hapless neighbor. He finds . . . something else entirely. Or: Scott is a soft-touch, Sara is GOALS, and Reyes has turned over a new leaf. Also, there’s a cat. Sorry about the title. Fluff, angst, and a happy ending . . . I promise. . . .

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,664
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    131
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Sighing, Garrus stepped into Office Supply-Room Sex Fantasy: Take #4—because there was a decision that’d never gotten him in over his head. . . .

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,085
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    201
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The handsome, pulled-together customer always orders a half-caf Red-Eye, and has since day one. That the owner of the café—who absolutely hates holding down the beverage station—is always there to make it for him is neither here nor there. Irredeemable fluff. Prompt in end-notes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,622
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    303
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Summary: Every runaway has their reasons. It’s not Geth’s place to judge, or even speculate. But in the case of the new boy, with the sea-blue eyes . . . Geth’s having difficulties keeping his customary façade of indifference and equanimity in place, and his own reasons for running buried and in-check. Prompt in end notes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,410
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    56
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The first rule of Kadara Projects Fight Club is. . . .

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,247
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    995
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Movie night with his best friends takes an unexpected turn for one Dorian Pavus, Esquire. The awkward/feels-y beginning of a porntastic series. Powered by The Strokes’ album, “Is This It.” Prompt in end notes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,007
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    492
  8. Tags
    Summary

    So, ya know those cliched fics where the one character is an Elementary School Teacher, and they have that One Student Who’s Adorbs? And their One Student’s Conveniently Single Parent is super-hot and conveniently single, by the way? And Teacher and Parent meet for the first time regarding the One Student and the attraction is IMMEDIATE AND IRRESISTIBLE AND 5EVER? And shenanigans ensue—much wackiness and angst, and maybe some smut, but not on school-property, because eww—but lead to an eventually heart-and-flowers, hyperglycemic Happily Ever After?

    Mm-yeah, this is like one of those, only . . . somewhat askew. Heed the tags and warnings, folks, and read responsibly.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,624
    Chapters:
    1/15
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    127
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Sara saves the day, Cora gets drunk, Reyes gets a clue, and Scott’s got shitty, awful nicknames for everyone . . . everyone. Oh, and some random dude gets his wrist broken. Prompt in end notes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,198
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    371
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It’s been almost a week since the night up-and-coming drag-performer, “Ms. Vagina Saskatchewan,” a.k.a. Wade Wilson, was rescued by one “The Spider-Man,” a.k.a. Peter Parker. In that near-week, nothing much has happened. Except for near-nonstop sexcapades, and the fact that Peter has only left Vagina’s/Wade’s side once, and that was the Evening After the Rescue, to get a few changes of clothes, his laptop, and some Spidey-supplies. Since then, Peter and Vagina/Wade have left all reality beyond a creaking futon and tiny shower far behind.

    Unfortunately, reality—in the form of two nosy, mother-henning best friends; two worried, over-invested ex-boyfriends, and two concerned, slightly scandalized parents—will present some tough-to-ignore interruptions with demands for answers and returns to responsibilities.

    And all Peter and Vagina/Wade wanna do is have sex then eat scrambled eggs while watching Hot in Cleveland.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,813
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1746
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Five random close-ups of Skinner’s life before, during, and after the events of Dragon Age: Inquisition.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,253
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    128
  12. Tags
    Summary

    So, I’ll just paste the prompt and let you guys make of that what you will.

    Prompt: “Scott/Reyes” and “How do you get your ass to taste like strawberry?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,377
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    807
  13. Tags
    Summary

    If Reyes is a chaotic spectrum of colors, then Scott’s the prism capable of refracting him into white light.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,829
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    436
  14. Tags
    Summary

    When Dorian meet-cutes Krem . . . also, Bull and Lavellan are there, too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,001
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    192
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Haven is an awful, gauche club full of awful, gauche men, and yet . . . Dorian Pavus’s friends keep dragging him there. Fluff. Pure fluff. And some smut. Absolutely no redeeming value beyond that. Written for the prompts: “Doribull” and “look, I'm sorry about what happened, but I was so bored.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,804
    Chapters:
    1/9
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    227
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Here, beside the news of holy war and holy need, theirs is just a little sorrowed talk. . . .

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,685
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    217
  17. Tags
    Summary

    What it says on the tin. Pure fluff, a tinge of angst, and warm-fuzzies. And The Dread Pirate SAM.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,097
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    751
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The obligatory coffee shop!AU in which college student Scott needs a job and café manager Vetra needs competent help . . . among other things. Also, the usual suspects are there, too. See end notes for prompt. Tags added as we go along.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,276
    Chapters:
    1/16
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    459
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Vetra works too much, travels too much, gets some good advice, and eats the worst meal ever prepared. Oh, and she may just discover what it means to be in love.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,113
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    923
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A couple months after Sara and Vetra hooked-up at Scott and Reyes’s wedding, a few long-overdue shovel-speeches get made. And smut happens. A lot of it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,701
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    47
    Hits:
    1003

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