apokteino



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Inspired by Jennilah's adorable artwork of a tiny!cas-filled gumball machine.

    Dean walks into his local bank one day and notices that someone has filled the old gumball machine with these tiny, wiggling, sentient angels in individual plastic packaging. Deeply concerned about their air supply and the fact that they're trapped there in the sun, he starts pumping in quarters to rescue them. This is worse than leaving a dog in an overheating car.

    Now he's got forty of the little guys running all over his house, and god knows how many others might be trapped and dying all over the city.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,325
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
    Comments:
    566
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    12 Apr 2017

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Things are going pretty good, which is why Dean should have seen it coming. Sam and Toni are so in love it’s disgusting, the big monsters are all gone or dead, and Dean and Cas - yeah, okay, so they kissed and now they're kind of together, okay? Shut up.

    No, the second Dean had caught himself thinking about food processors and beach holidays, he should have fucking known his happy ending would turn around and kick him in his fucking teeth. And now it has, and they're supposed to get on a damn plane and put on monkey suits and have Christmas dinner at Lord and Lady Bevell's, and Dean just can't - he can't face it, he can't breathe, he can't even see through the injustice of it all, because Cas - Cas -

     

    Tell me why. I deserve that much, at least.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,482
    Chapters:
    29/29
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    2
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    414
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    304
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    105
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    4 Apr 2017

  3. Public Bookmark 87

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    Thor: The Dark World is full of holes in the script through which a fleet of helicarriers could pass with ease. If the portal through which Loki brought the Chitauri into New York had been as big as these plot holes, he'd be ruler of Earth right now. Characters behave in a completely illogical fashion because the plot requires it. It's like the scriptwriters had heard of people, but never actually seen one.

    This is a series of unconnected, sometimes cracky ficlets pointing out the holes.

    I really, really hated Thor: The Dark World. Because of that movie, I grew to really, really hate Thor, who before I had loved a lot.

      If you don't want to see TDW or Thor being ripped mercilessly to shreds, don't read this.

    This is just me letting off some steam. I'll be adding to these whenever I feel the need to vent about everything wrong with this movie. Brilliantly acted, beautiful to look at, morally appalling, and with the stupidest screenplay imaginable.

    Also, thank you to Pluma for suggesting the title.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,326
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    694
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    585
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    87
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    9135

    27 Feb 2017

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Erik thinks he should be the one to teach their recruits hand-to-hand combat; Charles makes a persuasive argument to the contrary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,407
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    621
    Bookmarks:
    140
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    8725

    19 Jan 2017

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Written for the 1stclass-kink meme prompt: Charles gets turned into a kid/baby. While the team scrabble to work out how to put him right they try to look after him. Turns out, Charles doesn't need much looking after. If he's a baby, he never cries. If he's a little kid, he's really self-sufficient.

    Everyone's charmed/amused by this except one person (Sean) who is really unnerved by this. All babies cry. Kids that age are not that independent - they're just not. Unless they're used to nothing happening when they cry/used to fending for themselves.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,116
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
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    732
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    181
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    16 Jan 2017