ZeeCatfish
Fandoms
- Homestuck (14)
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Summary
A series of drabbles written for pairing requests on my tumblr.
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Summary
When John asked you if you were feeling any better yet earlier you told him you were fucking lonely as balls and considering changing your occupation to prostitute so you could find your own personal Edward Lewis to pay you loads of money for standing around and looking pretty. Then you told him you’d always wanted to have sex on a piano, so it’d all work out fine. The reference went straight over his head, which in hindsight should not have surprised you in the least because Pretty Woman isn’t really John’s usual genre, and even if it had been it’s not anywhere near obscure and shitty enough to catch his eye.
When Rose asked you the same thing a few minutes later you told her you discovered the small store at the far side of your street carries penis-shaped candles and that you now swore by watching them slowly burn down right to the waxen ballsack as a therapeutic relaxation technique.
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Dave is a coffee shop owner who has trouble admitting to himself exactly how tragic the current status of his love-life really is. Eridan is an art-history student with too much time on his hands and a completely unironic man-crush. As it turns out, coffee is a pretty good middle-ground.
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Ex-military Eridan Ampora has an honorable discharge hanging on his wall, dreams of battlefields that haunt him around every turn and a pair of trolls who scurry around his house and snoop in his things when they think he isn't looking while they wait for their own scars to fade. Somehow, he thinks that that's enough.
Inspired by Unwanted Free Ugly Troll.
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Summary
Establishing an intergalactic romantic long-distance relationship with a supposedly aquatic alien who claims his race is out to dominate the universe is almost as hard as keeping said relationship intact without dying from a massive case of blue balls. It's hard and nobody understands.
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- Words:
- 2,937
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 1