1 - 20 of 79 Works by Vulgarweed

Pages Navigation

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    There’s a dead body in the ball pit. Luckily, Sherlock’s on the case (and John’s on Sherlock. Not like that. Okay, maybe a bit like that. But those balls are slippery!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,748
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    968
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

    Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

    ***

    Now featuring The Straw Man Fallacy Fanmix!

    Two hours of mood-setting folk, folk-rock, and metal arranged to loosely follow and build on the original soundtrack of The Wicker Man. (Also includes much incidental music straight from the film.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,960
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    221
    Kudos:
    230
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    4274
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Well, maybe Sherlock was feeling a little bit left out of that whole parenthood business. Not anymore.

    Written for Porn Battle XV. Prompts: marriage, clues, robe, babyroom, sharing, baby, arrangement, co-parents, hormones, polyamory, big bed, together, forever

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,146
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    244
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    4611
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Set in that big ol' West Virginia farmhouse in Bone-Fiddle-verse, on a wintry night. The 1970s were probably the last decade that anyone could have sex on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace unironically. You decide if Sherlock and John managed lack of irony or not.

    Content: Dirty talk, boundary-pushing and also fur. This story is not vegan. Do they even spare a thought for the bear who helped bring them together in the graveyard scene in The Bone Fiddle? Probably not. It's not the same bear, though. This story takes place in between the two main scenes of Splat! and might make more sense if you've read that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,302
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1339
  5. Tags
    Summary

    He is the proud King of an arrogant race - but there is still one who can bring him to his knees.

    Written for Porn Battle XV. Prompts: smoke, gold, rise

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    968
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    190
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Chicago is having its worst winter in decades - of course it's somehow Harry Dresden's fault. And in the cold time, hungry hunters get vicious and reckless.

    Spoilers through Cold Days.

    Written for Porn Battle XV (The Ides of Porn)

    Prompts: trust, safety, illicit, lick, beautiful, wanted

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,791
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    696
  7. Tags
    Summary

    For tonight's naughty morgue performance, the role of the corpse will be played by Sherlock Holmes. (Who better?)

    For Porn Battle XV. Prompts: sex fantasies, forbidden

    Vague s3 spoilers, though this takes place in a foggy porn zone where everything in those episodes might or might not have happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,594
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    953
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Comfort in a time of terror.

    Set after Gandalf's confrontation with the Necromancer in The Desolation of Smaug. I have no idea how this will play out in TABA, but in this version, Galadriel has rescued him.

    Written for Porn Battle XV (The Ides of Porn). Prompts: golden, morning, understanding, flaws

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    875
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    24
    Hits:
    205
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Forbidden literature is forbidden because stories can change the world. For good and for ill. Written for Hoshi_Ryo in the 2013 Good Omens Holiday Exchange Prompt: “Aziraphale gets his hands on a rare copy of the play The King in Yellow. Reading and its consequences ensue.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,967
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    638
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Written for earlgreytea68's No Shame ficathon. Set in the Appalachian!AU-verse of The Bone Fiddle. Much to the shock of native-born West Virginian John, city slicker Sherlock can beat him in at least one kind of target shooting. Further experimentation with oral fixation ensues.

    That's right. Chewing tobacco kink. Sloppy, slurpy spitting with lots of brown stains all over. You were warned.

    I probably should be ashamed. But I'm not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,247
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1136
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The massive tornado outbreak of April 3, 1974. He'd heard about this. He'd had an Army buddy from Kansas who'd made lots of jokes about flying houses and wicked witches, even though it was clear that underneath it all, tornadoes weren't funny at all.

    Set in the universe of The Bone Fiddle, but you don't have to have read that for this story to make as much sense as it ever will. (Except you do need to know that Arthur is a horse.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,193
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    119
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1946
  12. Tags
    Summary

    John remembered Irene Adler saying, months ago, “And some say they've heard ghostly fiddle music out in the woods late at night, over round the Mt. Musgrave area. You heard anything like that?”

    This is set in the AU universe of The Bone Fiddle, but you don't have to have read that to understand this; you just have to wrap your brain around Sherlock and John living in a big old house halfway up a roadless mountain in southern West Virginia in the early 1970s. Also, any abuse you may perceive of “The Adventure of the Musgrave Ritual,” "The Adventure of the Dying Detective," and/or The Silmarillion is entirely intentional.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,608
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2195
  13. Tags
    Summary

    There is much more to Bilbo than meets the eye – especially on those occasions when none of him does. Thorin has faced down his fears on so many truly dangerous occasions, he will not shrink from the mere uncanniness of being seduced by someone he can't see. A fandom-specific kink: sex with the Ring on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    98
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    3779
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley's snakelike qualities have been manifesting more and more strongly lately, with additional (and not unpleasant) side effects. Aziraphale is intrigued and interested - and a little freaked out when he meets a much less charming and attractive snake demon on a side mission to Chicago. He comes to Crowley to have his positive associations restored. (Crossover with The Dresden Files; spoilers for Death Masks.)

    Author's warning: Depending on your interpretation, some undertones of bestiality.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,276
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    95
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1779
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Sherlock decides he does want to go hunting with John after all. But not for deer. (History tells us the first competitive game with paintball guns was played in 1981. The first large, well-organized, PG-rated, and heterosexual one, perhaps...)

    Smutty coda to The Bone Fiddle (the story of how they met, how they caught a serial killer, and how they hooked up and shacked up in this AU 'verse; West Virginia, USA, 1973; Vietnam-vet!John).

    This takes place about a month afterward. If you haven't read TBF, you can probably still understand this, because it's just a PWP about their kinky redneck sex games. Sherlock and John play much more RACK than SSC. (Consensual? Definitely yes. Safe and sane? Definitely not.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,618
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    266
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    6890
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Appalachian AU! In November 1973, Vietnam vet John Watson returns to his family's old home in Arthel County, West Virginia, deep in coal country. His low expectations include recuperation and boredom. Instead he finds a ruined landscape, a series of grisly murders, and one of the world's weirdest neighbors.

    Warnings/content: Some violence. Explicit sex. Tobacco-chewing. (Not all at the same time.)

    Huge thanks to beta reader bethbethbeth/Beth H!

    Now COMPLETE.

    Nominated for the Holmsies 2014!

    Now featuring: The Bone Fiddle Fanmix! Music is the heart and the spine of this story, so here is over two hours of it. Traditional Appalachian music, period-appropriate rock, and atmospheric alt-country. All the murder ballads mentioned in the story are here.

    Beautiful cover art by songofthecuckoo. Thank you so much!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,167
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    391
    Kudos:
    452
    Bookmarks:
    274
    Hits:
    20269
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Two teen angels who met their Maker in the '80s are sent back to Earth to re-establish contact with one of Heaven's agents and to keep an eye on kids. Inspired by the song Alleluia, by Dar Williams. Written for Cinaed in the 2012 Good Omens Holiday Exchange.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,480
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    255
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The teenaged Antichrist does things like a normal person most of the time. But when he's desperate to get rid of his virginity, he reverts to type.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,562
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1335
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Adam Young's "biological" father has not exactly been present in his life, and most likely that's a very good thing for the world (it's still here, so it must have been). That doesn't mean Adam wasn't hurt by his absence. Crossover with both Sandman and Mike Carey's Lucifer comic; in this story, Adam is the son of that Lucifer. Who's really not as bad as all that - but certainly isn't nice either, except in the oldest sense of the word. Happy belated Father's Day!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,064
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1130
  20. Tags
    Summary

    What is the appeal of talking dirty in bed? Is it at least partly the charge that comes from speaking the forbidden? If that's the case, then an angel and a demon might have rather different needs.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    637
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    104
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    3158

Filters

Filter results:

Pages Navigation