1 - 20 of 86 Works by Vulgarweed

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Temeraire has searched long and hard for his lost captain, in a strange and distant land. One very large obstacle presents itself and demands his attention. And other things.

    Fulfillment of his quest comes with a price, and Middle-earth's future is subtly altered.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,243
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    175
  2. Tags
    Summary

    I had a mess of these sitting around on my Livejournal, and will likely write more. Odds and sods that don't fit in the larger stories. Each drabble will be its own chapter.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,231
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    132
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1280
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “When you've begun to think like a gun / the days of the year have suddenly gone” --John Cale, “Gun”

    Three addicts, now never hurting for a supply for their danger fix. They’ve warped and changed each other to fit together better. They really do love each other deeply, never more so than when they’re being terrible role models.

    Author’s Note: This is an AU where everything’s the same except Mary was never pregnant. (I just didn’t feel like dealing with a baby in this one.) For the Porn Battle XV prompts: John Watson/Sherlock Holmes/Mary Morstan, games, voyeurism, secrets, truth, lies, vows, danger, guns, adrenaline, forever,

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,181
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    538
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Some babies are born with hair, or with teeth. Some with a caul, some with a tail. Sherlock Holmes was born with an olive drab bandana in his right pocket.

    Written in about 7 hours for the Come at Once 24-hour porn challenge, Mildredandbobbin tagged me with the prompt: “retribution”. The title is a British and Canadian military slang term that refers to long, hard, punishment or hardship, particularly when disproportionate to the infraction.

    HUGE thanks to Winter_of_our_discontent for the very fast beta (in-person in a coffee shop, no less)!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,059
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    2034
  5. Tags
    Summary

    In the spring of 1916, some in London and Dublin were fighting a war on two fronts. Three, if you include the heart. (Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of it.)

     

    Written in the 2014 Good Omens Holiday Exchange for tomato_greens, who wanted references to Yeats's poems "Easter, 1916" and/or "Leda and the Swan," especially with a historical setting and Yeats as a character.

    If you notice any especially beautiful lines in this story, you can be sure they’re Yeats, not me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,669
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    187
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The war is ending and the troops are returning. They do not always mean well. Their loved ones are not always glad to see them. A case straight out of an old folktale has deep repercussions for Sherlock and John.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1400
  7. Tags
    Summary

    One dark autumn night in the Shire, a rejected suitor leaves a harvest festival with a heavy heart - and a head swimming with eerie stories. Particularly of a new terror never seen in the Shire before: the ghastly spectre the locals call the Faceless Horseman.

     

    Those familiar with The Red Book of Westmarch will recognise this as a rustic, romanticised, and garbled hobbit-centric account of certain alarming events that occurred in the Shire in the autumn of TA 3018, on the eve of the War of the Ring.

    Those familiar with more recent literature will note that this story bears such a strong resemblance to the plot of Washington Irving's story "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," one realises Mr Irving must have had some passing acquaintance with Middle-earth folklore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,106
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    86
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “Mr Holmes, I'm not in the habit of approaching . . . consultants. But you are correct. I have great faith in our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And until recently, I also had faith in the rule of law. Only the second one has wavered. Three years ago my fiancé, Sgt. Neil Howie of the West Highlands Constabulary, went to investigate an anonymous report of a missing child in a remote place called Summerisle. He never communicated with me while he was there, and he never returned.”

    Summerisle is not a welcoming place to visitors, but it shows its best face at May Day. For ulterior motives.

    ***

    Now featuring The Straw Man Fallacy Fanmix!

    Two hours of mood-setting folk, folk-rock, and metal arranged to loosely follow and build on the original soundtrack of The Wicker Man. (Also includes much incidental music straight from the film.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,422
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    302
    Kudos:
    386
    Bookmarks:
    122
    Hits:
    7349
  9. Tags
    Summary

    There’s a dead body in the ball pit. Luckily, Sherlock’s on the case (and John’s on Sherlock. Not like that. Okay, maybe a bit like that. But those balls are slippery!)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,748
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    89
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1594
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Well, maybe Sherlock was feeling a little bit left out of that whole parenthood business. Not anymore.

    Written for Porn Battle XV. Prompts: marriage, clues, robe, babyroom, sharing, baby, arrangement, co-parents, hormones, polyamory, big bed, together, forever

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,146
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    297
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    5717
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Set in that big ol' West Virginia farmhouse in Bone-Fiddle-verse, on a wintry night. The 1970s were probably the last decade that anyone could have sex on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace unironically. You decide if Sherlock and John managed lack of irony or not.

    Content: Dirty talk, boundary-pushing and also fur. This story is not vegan. Do they even spare a thought for the bear who helped bring them together in the graveyard scene in The Bone Fiddle? Probably not. It's not the same bear, though. This story takes place in between the two main scenes of Splat! and might make more sense if you've read that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,302
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    103
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1996
  12. Tags
    Summary

    He is the proud King of an arrogant race - but there is still one who can bring him to his knees.

    Written for Porn Battle XV. Prompts: smoke, gold, rise

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    968
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    296
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Chicago is having its worst winter in decades - of course it's somehow Harry Dresden's fault. And in the cold time, hungry hunters get vicious and reckless.

    Spoilers through Cold Days.

    Written for Porn Battle XV (The Ides of Porn)

    Prompts: trust, safety, illicit, lick, beautiful, wanted

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,791
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    964
  14. Tags
    Summary

    For tonight's naughty morgue performance, the role of the corpse will be played by Sherlock Holmes. (Who better?)

    For Porn Battle XV. Prompts: sex fantasies, forbidden

    Vague s3 spoilers, though this takes place in a foggy porn zone where everything in those episodes might or might not have happened.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,594
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1213
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Comfort in a time of terror.

    Set after Gandalf's confrontation with the Necromancer in The Desolation of Smaug. I have no idea how this will play out in TABA, but in this version, Galadriel has rescued him.

    Written for Porn Battle XV (The Ides of Porn). Prompts: golden, morning, understanding, flaws

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    875
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    36
    Hits:
    492
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Forbidden literature is forbidden because stories can change the world. For good and for ill. Written for Hoshi_Ryo in the 2013 Good Omens Holiday Exchange Prompt: “Aziraphale gets his hands on a rare copy of the play The King in Yellow. Reading and its consequences ensue.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,967
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    840
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Written for earlgreytea68's No Shame ficathon. Set in the Appalachian!AU-verse of The Bone Fiddle. Much to the shock of native-born West Virginian John, city slicker Sherlock can beat him in at least one kind of target shooting. Further experimentation with oral fixation ensues.

    That's right. Chewing tobacco kink. Sloppy, slurpy spitting with lots of brown stains all over. You were warned.

    I probably should be ashamed. But I'm not.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,247
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1625
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The massive tornado outbreak of April 3, 1974. He'd heard about this. He'd had an Army buddy from Kansas who'd made lots of jokes about flying houses and wicked witches, even though it was clear that underneath it all, tornadoes weren't funny at all.

    Set in the universe of The Bone Fiddle, but you don't have to have read that for this story to make as much sense as it ever will. (Except you do need to know that Arthur is a horse.)

    Now with fantastic fanart by kjanddean

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,193
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    2799
  19. Tags
    Summary

    John remembered Irene Adler saying, months ago, “And some say they've heard ghostly fiddle music out in the woods late at night, over round the Mt. Musgrave area. You heard anything like that?”

    This is set in the AU universe of The Bone Fiddle, but you don't have to have read that to understand this; you just have to wrap your brain around Sherlock and John living in a big old house halfway up a roadless mountain in southern West Virginia in the early 1970s. Also, any abuse you may perceive of “The Adventure of the Musgrave Ritual,” "The Adventure of the Dying Detective," and/or The Silmarillion is entirely intentional.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,608
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    43
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2887
  20. Tags
    Summary

    There is much more to Bilbo than meets the eye – especially on those occasions when none of him does. Thorin has faced down his fears on so many truly dangerous occasions, he will not shrink from the mere uncanniness of being seduced by someone he can't see. A fandom-specific kink: sex with the Ring on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    4570

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