The_Perverted_Twins



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Lord Potter has entered the political arena well-trained, knowledgeable, savvy, and counting amongst his arsenal a host of stunning secrets about various members of the magickal world. See how many times the powerful Lords of Wizarding Great Britain can be shocked stupid during a single court case! Some of the revelations are simply hilarious. For instance, did you know that Dumbledore ...!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    46,537
    Chapters:
    10/12
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    628
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    31 Oct 2014

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Within Bilbo's pocket lies the item all are searching for.

    At the gate, two armies sit.

    Within the mountain, Dwarves stuck with the Gold Sickness pace, preparing for war.

    And in the middle of it all is one lone Hobbit, who only sees his family caring more for shiny pieces of metal and pretty rocks than their living, breathing kin.

    But can he take a different path than one before him or will he have to sacrifice everything he has gained to protect those he loves?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,820
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    171
    Kudos:
    479
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    145
    Hits:
    12296

    28 Aug 2014

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When Gandalf strolled up the Bagshot Row towards Bag End, Bilbo Baggins was far from pleased.

    He might have owed the wizard a favour, sure, though the old coot himself never even mentioned payback of any kind, but a suicidal quest to reclaim a homeland and slay a dragon with only thirteen dwarves, and not thirteen of the brightest at that, was a bit too much.

    Then there was, of course, the issue of him being a dragon. Kind of. And even bigger issue of Goldlust that could only be controlled by a Tamer. But Bilbo's people were long dead and gone, and his potential Heart with them.

    So why is his spirit all but purring at the sight of a certain pigheaded Dwarf King?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,100
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    230
    Kudos:
    2239
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    770
    Hits:
    42458

    25 Aug 2014

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    After the fall of Erebor and the tragedy of Azanulbizar, many dwarves have come to hate the line of Durin. After losing his grandfather, father, and siblings, all Thorin has left is his nephews, who are no more than toddlers. When the meddling wizard Gandalf comes to the rescue, he takes Thorin and his boys onto the backs of Eagles to a place far to the west, in a dainty place called the Shire. He leaves the line of Durin in the caring hands of Bilba Baggins, who has never had the heart to leave home since her mother's death.
    The strong, nurturing Hobbit and the pained, stubborn Dwarf are stuck with each other, raising two boys in the curious and not always kind eyes of the Shire.

    tl;dr, Thorin and baby Durins go to Shire, fem!Bilbo is caring BAMF. Bring it on Lobelia.

    From the Hobbit Meme

    Language:
    English
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    142,904
    Chapters:
    27/?
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    631
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    1096
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    18 Aug 2014

  5. Public Bookmark 57

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    apricity: (n.) the warmth of the sun in winter

    She is Bilba Baggins of the Blue Mountains, survivor and warrior, and she will find a way to kill the cold-drake that took her home. She does not need assistance from the race of Men, too greedy and selfish to see past the walls of their homes and hearth. She does not need the Elves, content to take shelter in their forests protected by magic and willfully ignorant of the darkness spreading across Middle Earth.

    And she certainly does not need the help of thirteen prideful, rock-headed, arrogant, persistent, willful.... Blessed Mother, save her from the stubbornness of Dwarves!

    fem!Bilbo/Thorin | AU, role-reversal, sort-of-reincarnation (maybe).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,627
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    57
    Hits:
    4755

    18 Aug 2014