Shayrazor



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    “I have an embarrassin’ favor to ask of you,” Jesse says.

    Hanzo stares at him expectantly, a single brow arched. “And what is that?” he asks.

    “Y’see, my family might currently be under the impression that I’m bringin’ home a date for a few days next week. And, the thing is, I don’t really have one. So, I’m currently S-O-L and would really, really appreciate it if you came home with me for a few days and, uh. Pretended. To be my boyfriend.”

    He stares down at his plate and jabs a fry into the enormous puddle of ketchup gathered in the center of it. If only the fry could be his hypothetical four-day boyfriend, he thinks; it would save him an enormous amount of embarrassment. It would be tastier, too.

    [ Or - McCree desperately needs a fake date to bring home to his family, and Hanzo never does anything half-assed. ]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,887
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    414
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    19 Oct 2016

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    On a dark night long ago, Sirius Black took a wrong turn and never found Peter Pettigrew. Instead of Azkaban, Sirius settled down in Little Whinging to keep an eye on his godson, and hired Remus Lupin to run his bookshop for him. Then one day when Harry was eight, Sirius found out how the Dursleys treated him, and stole him away.

    Stealing Harry is an alternate universe version of Harry Potter's life before his time at Hogwarts. It is the story of Harry's family: Sirius and Remus, Ted and Andromeda, Nymphadora, Neville Longbottom, and even Severus Snape, all banded together against a newly powerful Peter Pettigrew who is still searching for a way to resurrect Voldemort.

    Laocoon's Children follows Harry through his time at Hogwarts as he develops a very different group of friends: Hufflepuff Draco Malfoy, Ravenclaw Padma Patil, and Gryffindor Neville Longbottom, strange companions for a Harry who was sorted into Slytherin -- the house of his beloved Professor Snape.

    This universe ends in Harry's third year, and is partially incomplete. As it is not likely to be finished, the last story in the series is a group of notes I made on where the story would have gone and how it would have ended.

    Words:
    443,300
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    12
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    1314

    12 Aug 2016

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    “Do you know what you are here for?”

    Jesse scratched behind his ear, a little thrown. This, right here, was why Jesse fucking hated going undercover. Talk, talk, talk. Usually, Jesse got bored very quickly, and when Jesse got bored, his trigger finger tended to get itchy. Besides, they’d confiscated his goddamned gun. That was a downright depressing thing to do to a man, that was.

    “I’m here as hired muscle, yeah?”

    “Yes,” Hanzo said disdainfully. “‘Hired muscle’. What do you know about me?”

    Language:
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    42,407
    Chapters:
    13/13
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    25 Jul 2016

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    Where Bruce Wayne goes, models follow. It's almost a joke, the way he wears them like watches, girls too young for him hanging off his arms. It's a wonder he can even tell them apart.

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    English
    Words:
    10,374
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    236
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    2616
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    395
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    22664

    11 May 2016

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    Time travelers who plan to kill Superman never account for Martha Kent in their plans. She may not be the World's Finest, but she's a mother with a shotgun, and all told that might be scarier.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,539
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
    Comments:
    330
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    3735
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    04 Apr 2016