15 Works by RetardedCookie

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    After you live with a person for upwards of twenty months, it becomes inevitable that certain traits become apparent to you. From the way they tend to squeeze the tube of toothpaste from the centre to the way great liberties are taken with any cake recipe that involves chocolate. With Loki, Tony takes it up as a challenge – his personal mission to catalogue any and every single detail about him.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,363
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2374
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Some mornings, Tony wakes up and he cannot believe Loki’s right there.

    And then he remembers, grudgingly, that he has, maybe, on some stupid level, those sons of bitches to thank for the way things turned out.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,290
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    264
    Kudos:
    1128
    Bookmarks:
    366
    Hits:
    52954
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Based on this prompt on Tumblr.

     

    He remembers his coronation, he remembers the crusade that should never have happened, he remembers the confrontation.

    But above all, he remembers the crumbling bridge.

    (In which The Avengers never happens.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,552
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    2743
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It was meant to be the war to end all wars; these two men were never supposed to meet. One a German Jew, the other a British surgeon. The odds that their paths should cross were next to none - but War defies the expected. It always has, and always will.

    From the beaches of Dunkirk to the treacherous slopes of Monte Cassino - this is their story.

    WWII AU.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,124
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1174
  5. Tags
    Summary

    So. Meme requested Lestrade have daughters. Many, many daughters. And the author had been hunting for a kid!au prompt for the longest time.

    "They all adore him and try to help him out since Mum died, like bringing lunch to him if he forgets XD But they are sad to see their Dad so lonely.
    So they try to set their dad up with someone nice. That polite, posh man with the umbrella? He seems like a good fit... ;D"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,993
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    52
    Kudos:
    188
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    5207
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Well. For a prompt on the k!meme which has now mysteriously disappeared. Caution: I'd suggest watching the Reichenbach Fall before reading this as it may contain spoilers.

    With that in mind, all I can say is that this is a vampire AU! and a solution.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,392
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    4451
  7. Tags
    Summary

    For a prompt on K!Meme

    It is like seeing that one final, crucial fragment of a puzzle lying right at your fingertips.
    Only to know it is not your place to touch it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    3969
  8. Tags
    Summary

    For a prompt on the k!meme.

    Somethings just need to be said, no matter the consequences your soul wars against. And sometimes, it takes that one person to ask the right thing.

    You'll be surprised how few do.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,970
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    393
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    5547
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Written for this prompt on the meme.

    Alex works in a sandwich shop where Shaw is the meanest boss you could ever have. Erik is the Grandmaster of bread-making and there's practically a cult formed in his name. Except Erik never shows himself. Enter Charles, the unyielding customer who MUST pay his compliments to the god behind the sandwiches.

    Shaw is a right bastard (what's new) and picks on Alex left, right and center because of all the staff (apart from Erik because he CAN'T fire the Hand of the Baking God), Alex easily has the most flawed demeanor and attitude that can justify reproach.

    Cue Erik teaching Alex how to make the best fucking sandwiches so that there's no way Shaw can fire him. Hank helps Alex by only buying food when Alex is there and taste testing each new sandwich (some horrible, some great).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,783
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    150
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    7335
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Continuation of 'Just Another Job'. In accordance to Chapter 10 of Our House, in the Middle of Our Street by Clocks.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    5088
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Just a simple black and white speed-painting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1189
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Years later, for the children that the two of them have (surrogate momma, anyone?) or whichever poor sod comes across this album.

    Erik would sincerely like to apologize and kindly suggests having a bottle of bleach on hand to cleanse your eyes.

    Inspired by Clocks' writing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    558
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    6093
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Artwork inspired by the story authored by Clocks - Our House In the Middle Of Our Street

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    167
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    13294
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Not the author who first called dibs on this prompt on the meme at LJ but this is my take on it.

    "Correspondence:
    –noun
    1.
    communication by exchange of letters."

    It has become the only way to speak to each other.

    Update: Epilogue is up. The story is complete.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,215
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    2825
  15. Tags
    Summary

    There is a fine line between sanity and insanity. For Erik, revenge has long merged with rage into a convoluted mess. He had learnt to embrace it; fighting it was too exhausting. But there was always a tiny flicker in him that clung onto the notion of salvation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,208
    Chapters:
    3/10
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1333

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