RealityPhobia



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.

    Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

    (Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

    *Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,065
    Chapters:
    10/?
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    18 Aug 2017

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Business pulls Bilbo to the town of Scary, but it is the journey home that changes everything for Bilbo. Family, it seems, comes in many forms, and quite possibly in the form of a scarred, silent shade of a Dwarrow Bilbo finds in a ditch.

    Family, though, is a tricky thing, and there's fun to be had when they come looking for their kin.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,250
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    110
    Kudos:
    615
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    195
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    18 Aug 2017

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    It's Yule time when Bilbo arrives back in the Shire- with a host of Dwarrow at his back, the sentimental lugs. Except now the assorted Aunts and Uncles have gotten quite the wrong idea in their excited interrogation, and he's stuck pretending that he's married a few of the hairy fellows.

    If he could just get through the assorted required Baggins and Took social events without outing himself as a complete fibber or drunkenly attempting to kiss Dwalin and Thorin under the mistletoe, it may just be a Yule miracle.

    Another attempt at writing a common trope fic that went completely off the rails.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,293
    Chapters:
    1/1
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    1
    Comments:
    51
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    592
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    233
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    18 Aug 2017

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Ten thousand years has passed but Hogwarts survives.

    Words:
    50,862
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    123

    17 Aug 2017

  5. Public Bookmark 35

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    Of all the establishments, they had to walk into hers.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    642
    Bookmarks:
    35
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    17 Aug 2017