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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Bilba Baggins, Hobbit Burglar of Erebor finds herself back in Bag End, young and healthy once more, she begins enjoying her afterlife in Yavannas Garden (the Hobbit equivalent to the Halls of Waiting) when thirteen familiar Dwarves turn up at her door, raid her pantry and start throwing about her dishes. Gandalf is convinced she's the right Hobbit Burglar for the job, but Bilba's done all this before and no one remembers but her. What's a Hobbit to do?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,966
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
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    20 Jan 2018

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Bilbo Baggins was a respectable hobbit of the Shire. He knew the world was nothing at all like his home. He had grown up suitably warned about how Outsiders would view him. So why did he run out his door?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,655
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    339
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    953
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    07 Jan 2018

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.

    Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

    (Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

    *Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,065
    Chapters:
    10/?
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    05 Jan 2018

  4. Public Bookmark 22

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    Bilbo drew a deep breath as she saw how the Darrowdams of worthy statuses fawned over the Durin men. She saw how the bolder ones openly leered at them and even made passes while the shier ones would blush prettily as greetings were exchanged.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,777
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    102
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    22
    Hits:
    1849

    04 Jan 2018

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Thorin is King Under the Mountain and has been since Thror slew Thrain and Thorin challenged his gold-mad grandfather to a duel and won. Erebor is prosperous and happy, the young Princes Fili and Kili beg to go to the market to avoid studying and find something horrible disguised as a vendor that sells pets.

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    English
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    9,490
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    64
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    841
    Bookmarks:
    280
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    17996

    04 Jan 2018