ElevenEvilOranges



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    At no point in the accidental usurpation of Thorin as leader of The Company and the quest for Erebor, did Bilbo intend for this to turn into an exploration of cultural differences (and something that almost feels like group therapy). For some reason, the Dwarrows aren't complaining, and Bilbo isn't going to question it, as long as the lumoxes behave themselves and do as they're told.

    Who knows, they all might yet survive this insane journey.

    (Or, where Bilbo decides the Dwarves are all too stupid for him to endure this ridiculousness anymore and Does It Hobbit and the Dwarves suddenly get affectionate.)

    *Please note, within this story there are mentions of the underage rape and subsequent pregnancy of an off-screen character. Mentions are brief in chapter 2, and a little more in depth chapter 4. While details are light and are more discussions of emotional aftermath, this may still be distressing to read for those with triggers. Please be cautious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    79,065
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    1066
    Kudos:
    3867
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    1474
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    24 May 2017

  2. Public Bookmark 42

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    Will and friends read and react to the Ranger's Apprentice series (but not book 12). Takes place shortly after Lost Stories.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    124,949
    Chapters:
    43/?
    Comments:
    97
    Kudos:
    371
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    5698

    22 May 2017

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host."
    And I think that's beautiful.
    ~
    Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death.
    ~
    Actions speak so much louder than words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,657
    Chapters:
    6/16
    Comments:
    186
    Kudos:
    532
    Bookmarks:
    179

    10 Apr 2017

  4. Public Bookmark 69

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    In which Matt finds out his two soulmates are siblings and work for Fisk and he may or may not (but he so does) have a kink for the Russian language and the Ranskahov brothers find out their missing soulmate is the Man in the Mask.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,455
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    79
    Kudos:
    454
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    4989

    21 Nov 2015

  5. Public Bookmark 67

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    Being a probably-incomplete but possibly mostly-factual reference guide to the living situation of one Sidney Crosby (Captain, Pittsburgh Penguins, NHL). With annotated pictorial references.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    667
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    363
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    8573

    24 Oct 2015