Coolwhipdiva



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Steve has his life in order, okay. He goes to wizard college, even if he can't technically do magic. He has his own apartment, even though it's small and dinky and kind of gross, and forgets to exist sometimes, and might also be alive? Plus, he has a crush on the hot cyborg in unit 404 who cooks fiendishly good breakfast foods, and may or may not have some kind of weird connection to the sentient building they live in. He's not sure.

    He's dealing, all right, his life is in tip-top condition, or it was until an eldritch monstrosity called the Hydra started posing as a real estate company to try and buy over his new home.

    He's really pissed about that.

    (The one where Steve is an angry millennial wizard, Sam is a Disney prince, Natasha is a shapeshifter, and Bucky is a spoiler.)

    Language:
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    Words:
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    27 Aug 2017

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Steve Rogers, captain of a losing NHL team, has taken so many bad penalties this season he's worried he's going to get set down to the minors as punishment. His agent comes up with a plan to make Steve irreplaceable to the fans--a reality dating show. Where the contestants want to date Steve.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,320
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    Comments:
    148
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    558
    Bookmarks:
    171
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    21 Aug 2017

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Steve Rogers, captain of a losing NHL team, has taken so many bad penalties this season he's worried he's going to get set down to the minors as punishment. His agent comes up with a plan to make Steve irreplaceable to the fans--a reality dating show. Where the contestants want to date Steve.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,320
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    558
    Bookmarks:
    171
    Hits:
    4970

    21 Aug 2017

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    The last thing Jeopardy producer Bucky Barnes needs is some asshole who passed the online test pretending to be Captain America and wasting his time. The last thing he expects is for the guy on the phone to turn out to be that Steve Rogers. There’s a popular expression that insists that stranger things have indeed happened, but Bucky’s pretty sure that this is the weirdest day of his life.

    In which Steve Rogers starts watching Jeopardy as a fun way to learn about the things he’s missed, gets selected through the online test, auditions for the show and surprises the hell out of everyone. Especially one James Buchanan Barnes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,386
    Chapters:
    11/11
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    Comments:
    312
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    582
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    138
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    21 Aug 2017

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    This wasn't Steve's plan for tonight.

    Part of the plan, maybe. The part where he goes to a club, anonymous and dark; that's been part of the plan from the start. The part where he finds some... company; also part of the plan. He's self-aware enough to know how pathetically lonely he's feeling right now. The rest of the plan had been...less detailed, more just a collection abstract ideas. None of which he'd imagined would lead him here, his palms sweaty as they fish handfuls of cash out of his pockets, one arm anchored around the waist of a man who is very enthusiastically nibbling on his earlobe.

     

    Or:

    Steve tries and fails to master the whole 'one-night stand' thing, lies snowball in a truly epic fashion, the supervillains of New York are all out of control, Tony is the worst best friend and mediator in the history of ever, and Bucky has the patience of a saint. Guest starring: Augustus the houseplant, projectile pineapples, and Target superhero costumes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,609
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
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    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    1474
    Bookmarks:
    377

    09 Jul 2017