Au_nte



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The two hot guys had to get together. Darcy was not going to let the fact the two men were complete strangers get in her way. She was going to be the best Goddamn matchmaker this subway car had ever seen.

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    07 Jan 2018

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    Normal, squeaky-clean-Ken-doll, meet grumpy, possibly homeless but buff-as-hell King of the gremlins.

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Steve is the leader of the Avengers and he has to conduct himself accordingly--even when he's suffering.

    That's his job, isn't it?

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    13 Nov 2017

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Steve and Tony should really read the fine print on what they're signing. Then again, some mistakes are not really mistakes.

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    11 Oct 2017

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    Right,” Jessica said. “I was going to ask 'why' you didn't live here, but that answers it pretty clearly, thank you.”
    “I don't live here because Hank and Tony have two modes,” Jan said. She held up one finger. “One, BFF's forever and ever, lets make friendship bracelets or perhaps a doomsday ray.”
    “Oh my God,” Luke said. He took the box from Steve. There was a pantleg trailing out of it.
    “And two-” She held up a second finger. “Mortal enemies, you are the reason for every bad thing that's ever happened to me and I will burn your works to the ground and then pee on the ashes.”
    “Right,” Steve said. A muscle twitched beside his eye, and he pressed a finger there. “I mean. Right.”
    “There's really no middle ground,” Jan said. “That's why I live with Hank. On the other side of the city. And bring him for carefully supervised visits so he and Tony don't unleash tactical nuclear weapons on each other." She paused. "Or get into a slap fight.”

    --

    "In a few weeks, we'll sit the two of you down with a carefully selected exclusive," Marcy said, her arms crossed over her chest. Her head tipped to the side, and Steve had an uncomfortable feeling that he was being measured. "With someone who doesn't have an agenda."
    "Or an ax to grind," Pepper added.
    "Where-" Tony spread his hands. "Where are you going to find this mythical, unicorn like reporter?"
    "We'll find one who hates you and loves him and it'll average out to a nice indifference," Marcy told him, her lips twitching, and Tony burst out laughing. Steve just gritted his teeth against the urge to say something rude.
    "I'm not optimistic," Tony said, still chuckling.
    "Yeah, but you are realistic," Pepper said.
    "A lot of people hate me," Steve said, and all three of them turned to look at him with varying degrees of pity. He realized he had his arms crossed over his chest again and forced his hands back to his sides. "I'm hateable."
    -
    “Right. I guess that's better than someone asking me if I want to suck their dick.”
    “Guys try it with me all the time,” Clint said, his fingers walking idly up the length of his bowstring. “Which is fine with me, if they really want blow job tips, I'll totally give them some.” Everyone stared at him. Clint shrugged. “Like, I got nothing better to do, I could aim in my sleep, so this kind of livens things up.”
    Steve pinched his nose between his index finger and thumb. “Clint...”
    “No, seriously, it's 2017, it's not my fault if they're still repressed,” Clint said. “Your attraction to men aside, if you haven't at least tried shoving something up your butt, that's your own problem, and it's a problem I don't have. Like, sorry you're so freaked out by the idea of being thought of as gay that your prostate doesn't get to have a good time, but that's really your problem, and you need to get over it.”
    “Oh my God.” Jess had her face in her hands, and Carol was bent double behind her, laughing so hard that she was crying. Luke had his arms crossed over his chest, staring at Clint with his mouth hanging open just a little bit. Sam was just shaking his head, his eyes squeezed shut.
    “So if they're like, 'hey, you've got a real pretty mouth, bet you give good head,' I'm going to roll with it,” Clint said, with a nod. “Because the kind of guys who try that are either really repressed or think you are. So they either A. they get turned on, or B. they get freaked out and in either case, that makes them a lot easier to shoot.”
    “Does no one say weird stuff to you?” Clint asked Peter, who was now hanging upside down from the ceiling.
    “It's not a good idea to ask a guy in spandex about sex stuff,” Peter said. “If they try, I tell them facts about spiders and that confuses them and also makes them think maybe I have a weird kink that they don't want to know anything more about.”
    “That's brilliant,” Clint said. He sounded stunned. “I gotta try that.”
    “Please don't make people think you do sex stuff with birds,” Jess told him. “Because then they'll start asking me and Nat about if you do sex things with birds, and wow. Not having that conversation.”
    “I'll have that conversation,” Natasha said. “Let's go, Hawkeye. You, too, you arachnid deviant.

    - "I can't keep anyone safe," he said, and there was a wry note to his voice, an ache that he didn't want to examine too closely. "Not even myself."
    "No, but you can live, and be a counterpoint to everyone who argues that to live their lives as they are will only end in misery and suffering," Cynthia pointed out. "People don't want promises. Kids certainly don't, because even if they get them, they know they can't always be trusted. What they want is a chance. A possibility."

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    In which Bucky is just trying to live life and enjoy his unofficial official table at the obnoxiously hipster coffee shop but some guy named Steve stole his spot.

    Or, the time that Bucky unintentionally befriended the Avengers and had no idea.

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    21 Aug 2017

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    Bucky silently thanked everything holy for that pretentious, punny, hipster-explosion of a coffeehouse for bringing him home.

    This is hilarious and sweet and amazing.

  5. Rec *

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    In which Lydia and Jackson produce the world's cutest baby, and the pack goes crazy-- the good kind of crazy. Except for Derek, who is afraid of tiny cute babies and Stiles who plans to be the best Uncle ever. Even if Danny called dibs on Godfather.

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    08 Jul 2017

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    Guys, you know I'm all about the kid fic. And even though the kid isn't actually in this one all that much, the cute is still killer. Plus, slowburn and well written and :sigh: