1 - 20 of 43 Works by Asuka Kureru (Askerian) in Homestuck
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Summary
So, um. Terezi is kissing her. By the way.
"Wowza. Lesbos R Us, at long last. I knew that day would come. Anyone got a camera."
Terezi has a lot more teeth to get nibbly with than Karkat and her tongue is way longer and oh lord does she know how to use it. Jade wonders to herself, vaguely, why she never kissed her boyfriends' girlfriend before. That was a really silly oversight.
Mmm.
"Haha, shut up, Dave, you've been modeling for the Gay Dudes R You catalogue for like three years now."
"Like you can talk, Mister It's Not Gay If He Doesn't Have Balls To Touch."
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He just knows that Nepeta has been growing like a midblood, fast and hard, and either he's growing slow like a highblood (hah) or he's done already. And this should piss him off, and it vaguely does, even now, but they were having such a nice time reminiscing and then he tripped in the dark and she caught him, sure and effortless, and it was like every romcom ever only he was the heroine.
The ensuing makeouts he blames on the alcohol.
Not to say that when she lifted him off the ground by the waist to pin him to a tree and bring to more comfortable kissing height, his nook didn't flood like someone had dynamited a giant fucking dam.
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When a young troll kid from John's rescue adopts Bec as his new mom, Jade has no choice but to bring him home. No choice at all! (D'aw.)
Dave totally has the choice of ignoring Jade's weird pets, and he is making it. Watch him paying no mind... to... aw, crap, why's that little bugger so cute.
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For my Daemon AU meme; scenes and snippets from 30th-Century Night 'verse with added daemons.
Series
- Part 3 of Daemon AUs
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"You don't have to fuck me anymore."
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For my timestamp meme, callunavulgari asked for four weeks after 30th-Century Night. -
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"It would work better with live animals, I know," she tells Cal, who is watching her with vaguely dismayed amusement. "I did not think a pet shop would sell a snake to a fourteen year old without parental consent, though, and owls are alas not for sale. A pity; I would have liked one."
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For my Timestamp Meme, for Midnight on the Demon Patrol. Daikonpan asked for "the first time DS-Rose (or Dave, but I’d prefer Rose) did a summoning." -
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JD: john seriously i think after more than a week he knows how to take a shower without you!!!
JD: i promise i wont drown him even a little bit :pp
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Pesterlog between John and Jade about something that did not happen in BT proper, but totally could have.Poor Karkat. :'(
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- Part 7 of Battlefield Terra
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Fusion with Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials/the Golden Compass. Daemons are animal-shaped external manifestations of a person's inner self and soul.
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A collection of ficlets exploring what might have gone differently in Battlefield Terra if the trolls, or the humans, or both had daemons.Series
- Part 1 of Daemon AUs
- Part 8 of Battlefield Terra
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Fusion with Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials/the Golden Compass.
--Karkat doesn't know what to do with his daemon. (None of the trolls do; Terezi hides it a little better but in the week she's been sharing the Striders' apartment Davesprite doesn't count the times he found her sitting in silence on the couch, or in the staircase to the roof, that horrific alligator-mawed, hollow-bellied hound-thing of hers staring back at her with his head on her knee, both trying to make sense of each other.)
It's funny because neither does Davesprite, really.
Series
- Part 5 of the family you choose
- Part 2 of Daemon AUs
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Fighting fire with fire is okay in theory but Detective-Summoner Dave L. Strider figures trying to summon corporeal demons to the mortal plane to fight other demons is likely to backfire spectacularly. Sadly for him his inner Knight gets the vapors at the thought of letting anyone else play guinea pig.
Yup, he is totally hogging the demon. What could go wrong? (Oh no, Dave, why did you have to think that.)
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These ficlets will not make sense without having read Sunlightverse.
1) Dadbert and the children. kissing booboos
2) Dirk/Equius, 100d public kissyface.
3) Psi/Condy, awkward black romance failure.
4) eridan<3<nepeta: hunter or the hunted?
5) Summoner<>Tavros<3<Dave, slam battle.
6) Condesce kisses Karkat to sort out her red feels
7) Bonus sequel for eridan<3<nepeta
8) Dirk & Nepeta, sequel to 2
9) Jane & Feferi about Psii
10) Dave & Signless about Karkat & Psii - sequel to 9Series
- Part 8 of Sunlightverse
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-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has joined memo CALLING ALL JACKASSES --
CG: THANK LITTLE JEGUS AND ALL HIS WIGGLER-EATING ELVES. WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING STATUS.
CA: oh great and wwhich human evven is that again
TT: Oh, please. We both know perfectly how well you remember me, Mr. Ampora.
TT: My status is, if you will permit the bad joke, wet and horny.
CG: MY GANDERBULBS JUST IMPLODED FROM GROSS BY PROXY. WHAT THE CROTCHBLISTERING *FUCK*, LALONDE?
TT: As in, I have just emerged from what is either a recuperacoon or a fairly good mock-up, and there are protrusions attached to my skull that I am inclined to believe would be candy-corn-colored.
CG: ... OH. YEAH, VERY AMUSING. I AM VERY AMUSED. HERE IS A PICTOGRAPHIC REPRESENTATION OF MY MIRTH. |:BSeries
- Part 1 of Covalent Bonds
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It's been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.
Series
- Part 4 of the family you choose
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Outtake/what-if. (Not BT canon, but uses BT settings.)
John needs to fix Karkat's depression somehow. A pillow fort seems like just what the doctor ordered.
Series
- Part 6 of Battlefield Terra
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For the Kink Meme, kismeses exploring anal sex.
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John is one of eight mech pilots heroically protecting Earth from an alien invasion. Pretty easy on the moral choices. See evil monster from space, kill evil monster from space.
Only then he actually meets one of them face to face.
Series
- Part 1 of Battlefield Terra
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GC: 1F YOU GUYS FORC3 M3 TO FL1P 4SH3N 4ND TH3R3FOR3 D3PR1V3 M3 OF 4LL TH4T 4CROB4T1C S3XU4L CONGR3SS W3 S1GN3D ON FOR *TH3 PUN1SHM3NT SH4LL F1T TH3 CR1M3 3X4CTLY*
GC: BY WH1CH 1 M34N MY C4N3 H1D3S TWO R3C3NTLY-SH4RP3N3D BL4D3S 4ND 1T S3R3ND1P1TOUSLY H4PP3NS TH4T B3TW33N TH3 TWO OF YOU YOU GUYS H4V3 TWO BON3BULG3S
GC: WH1CH M1GHT NOT ST4Y TH3 C4S3 LONG--
Okay, good! Terezi, Dave and Karkat have finally figured out this quadrant dating thing. Now to figure out which twosome gets to hook up first.
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“Choke on my hot long self-replicating worm, you script kiddie!”
“Iyaan, Solly-baby, what is this, it’s too big, it’ll never fit — whoops I chomped it in half with my rad as hell firebirdwall. Hi there, nice files you have in that li’l folder!”
“Yeah, have fun with my dummy session while I slide all nice and tight in your backdoor—”
“You guys are the filthiest,” says that other human girl, the short-and-round cerulean.
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Wherein Sollux Captor Battles Boredom and Also Roxy Lalonde (Sexily If He Might Say So) But Then the Condesce Battles Feferi and Jane and He'd Rather Have Kept Being Bored Thanks. Contains One Instance of Signless Jesusing a Memo, a Hairball of Interesting Proportions, and Embarrassing Ancestors Seriously Stop Gross.
Series
- Part 3 of Sunlightverse
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Karkat wishes his new half-human junk came with a manual. Funnily enough, so does Dave.
Series
- Part 9 of Sunlightverse
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Wherein Two Palemates Discuss a Potential Kismesis, and Also One of the Moirails' Bulges, At Length. by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)
Homestuck
6 Dec 2012
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Summary
-- tumblingCraniums [TC] started trolling codComplex [CC] --
TC: I AM SO MOTHERFUCKING SICK AND HELLS OF TIRED OF THAT FREAK-ASSED BLIGHTBLOOD NOT JUMPING ON MY FUCKING BULGE ALREADY.
TC: so tired and sick
TC: THE SHEER NERVE OF THAT SHINEBLOOD UPSTART DANGLING ME ON HIS BARBED STRING
CC: A][a][a][a][a.
CC: Don't tell me you still ][aven't gotten anyw][ere wit][ t][at ][uman.
TC: WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU THEN
TC: will keep my diamond shut in
TC: GETTING ITS DUST AND CRACKS ON LIKE SOME BITCH SLAMMED IT INTO THE GROUND AND GROUND HER PRETTY HEEL ALL UP ON IT FOR GOOD MEASURE.
CC: Fairly accurate!
CC: O][ w][ale! I need somefin to laug][ at and you'll keep w][ining if I don't let you carp on. ][arpoon away.
TC: thank you fucking KINDLY, palest bitchsister.Series
- Part 7 of Sunlightverse