1 - 20 of 90 Works by Asuka Kureru (Askerian) in Homestuck

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    AA: tell me about kankri, i tell you about me
    CC: ...
    CC: codDAMN megido
    CC: so did you not want to talk to any of us or
    AA: yes
    CC: so whats changed now
    AA: now is funnier to speak
    AA: vomit up your kankri fucking woes so i may laugh into your sea dog face
    CC: nice, i can feel some real sympathy flowin from your new typeface, girl.
    CC: real friendly there did you wake up beached outside your coon or
    AA: i laugh and choke and die if you lucky
    AA: tell
    CC: urgh fine okay let me just walk up to your harpoon n whine my life aint sharp enough
    CC: giving me your word youll tell me where to find you after that?
    AA: put a cross in my heart hope you die :D
    CC: imma take you at your word and that word as a yes but only because i really need to bitch about that sweater-wrapped tool

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    353
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Fighting fire with fire is okay in theory but Detective-Summoner Dave L. Strider figures trying to summon corporeal demons to the mortal plane to fight other demons is likely to backfire spectacularly. Sadly for him his inner Knight gets the vapors at the thought of letting anyone else play guinea pig.

    Yup, he is totally hogging the demon. What could go wrong? (Oh no, Dave, why did you have to think that.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    204,957
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Comments:
    926
    Kudos:
    1683
    Bookmarks:
    416
    Hits:
    48690
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Fusion with Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials/the Golden Compass.
    --

    Karkat doesn't know what to do with his daemon. (None of the trolls do; Terezi hides it a little better but in the week she's been sharing the Striders' apartment Davesprite doesn't count the times he found her sitting in silence on the couch, or in the staircase to the roof, that horrific alligator-mawed, hollow-bellied hound-thing of hers staring back at her with his head on her knee, both trying to make sense of each other.)

    It's funny because neither does Davesprite, really.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    985
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    216
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    6221
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Fusion with Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials/the Golden Compass. Daemons are animal-shaped external manifestations of a person's inner self and soul.
    --
    A collection of ficlets exploring what might have gone differently in Battlefield Terra if the trolls, or the humans, or both had daemons.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,438
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    212
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    4921
  5. Tags
    Summary

    For my Daemon AU meme; scenes and snippets from Midnight on the Demon Patrol 'verse with added daemons.

    -Karkat, Dave, and Dave's daemon, feeding Karkat (NSFW)
    -Rose and Kankri, on daemon meanings and siblinghood.
    -How was Bowie affected when Latula. blocked Dave's mind in the coffee shop?
    -Rose, Dave, Karkat, Kankri post chapter 27.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,418
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    171
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    4872
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Three sweeps after the end of the game, Terezi finally gets to the Legislacerator academy. She didn't know how she expected it to go, but not like that.

    Part of Covalent 'verse.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,836
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1474
  7. Tags
    Summary

    It's been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    128,712
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    806
    Kudos:
    1373
    Bookmarks:
    255
    Hits:
    29501
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "I’ll take the lead," she says, for clarity’s sake and because she knows better than to assume Kankri will in any way appreciate non-verbal exchanges and unchecked assumptions, even when the both of them know exactly what the other one is planning already.

    --
    Kiss Meme response, set in the Midnight on the Demon Patrol universe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,260
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    772
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "I'm starting to wonder if bluebloods only come in smart like a vicious animal or dumb as someone's pet rock categories," Karkat says, because he's someone who prizes his survival instincts highly. "I thought I knew of all the local command on sight, what are you, an internal affairs sneak? Slipping in with the monthly cargo of perishables and then gone again with someone's career in your vorpal hopbeast teeth? What were you doing in that dive?"

    The man crooks him a grin. "I was, uh, what was it again? Taking part in a 'deplorable fucking contest of limp-bulged impressions containing zero fucking artistic or entertaining merit,' and it wasn't that you have no sense of humor but that I'm objectively the opposite of frigging funny."

    --
    In Which A Secret Mutantblood Unknowingly Picks Up A Member Of The Nobility In A Bar Of Ill-Repute, After Which They Proceed To Have Sex, Fall Asleep, Then Have Sex Again While The Mutant Desperately Tries To Hide His Blood Color And Not Laugh At The Blueblood's Deplorable Jokes. Contains References To Ashen Pornography, A Somewhat Pitiable Inability To Handle The Gloriousness Of War, And Mentions Of Conciliatory Perversions Unsuitable For Trolls Aged Eight Or Under.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,409
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    462
    Bookmarks:
    97
    Hits:
    3568
  10. Tags
    Summary

    John is one of eight mech pilots heroically protecting Earth from an alien invasion. Pretty easy on the moral choices. See evil monster from space, kill evil monster from space.

    Only then he actually meets one of them face to face.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    138,772
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    989
    Kudos:
    1540
    Bookmarks:
    545
    Hits:
    56658
  11. Tags
    Summary

    So at some point the pantheon had to start reproducing, right? That goes awesomely when two thirds of their numbers used to be from a species that has nothing to do with their children.

    Series of ficlets and vignettes on various pregnancy and baby related topics.

    (Sunlightverse is a collection of fics where the players and Ancestors become gods of a merged species in a pseudo-Ancient-Greece society.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,255
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    174
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2527
  12. Tags
    Summary

    "Jesus, no way to find a decent fourth," Jack says, disgusted, as another lily-livered wannabe hard-ass retreats from their table. Boxcars and Deuce snort (well, Boxcars snorts, Deuce giggles.)

    "To Droog," Boxcars says blandly, and raises his beer. Deuce imitates him. "Ponciest asshole who ever got murdered by a dead broad."

    Jack rolls his eyes and flips his cards over, checks that there aren’t any with marks he hasn’t put there himself.
    --
    Anonymous said: BT Noir, the time he realized this thing with Strider wasn't going away (and he didn't want it to).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    514
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    120
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1312
  13. Tags
    Summary

    1. "Byrd," Kanaya says with even more careful enunciation than usual, and that's how you know she's kind of drunk. "I do not wish to impugn on your transcendental broship with John."
    --
    2. GG: hi byrd can i talk to you???
    GG: its not super urgent yet but ahhhh, i really need to talk to you!!!
    GG: byrd featherbutt strider!
    --
    3. Terezi has a problem with Dave's shower. A very grave problem. Dave chivalrously undertakes to fix it.
    --
    4. Chapter 13 from Bro's POV.
    --
    Collection of ficlets that might turn out to be canon for the main fic and deliberately branching-off plotlines.
    Will not make sense without having read Crash Standing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,773
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    335
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    5420
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "No, but answer me this, do you want to invalidate this whole farce of a legal and religious joining of blah-di-fucking-blah? Because I have looked at your laws and if we don't consummate the union it's not valid!"
    --
    Anonymous asked: Davekat. Arranged marriage! The first time they are alone together is on their wedding night.
    --
    Now with actual sex, woo! Also several pages of Karkat and Dave being the dorkiest knights ever knighted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,582
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    690
    Bookmarks:
    154
    Hits:
    10344
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Anonymous asked: BT guys shower gangbang fantasy/embarassing wet dream?

    (yay for fishing old prompts out of the abyss! weirdass floaty dream ahoy. contain vague dream porn, stealth angst and dreamy creepiness. also probably happens either during the first half of chapter 7 or before chpt7 entirely.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,471
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    4321
  16. Tags
    Summary

    EB: so... i hear you're back with gamzee? seriously???
    CG: OH, *YOU* WANT TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION. YOU, WHO ARE OBVIOUSLY A CONNOISSEUR IN ALL MATTERS PERTAINING TO TROLLHOOD AND MOIRALLEGIANCE. WHO AM I TO DISAPPOINT!
    CG: SO, I HEAR YOU'RE WITH *VRISKA*? SERIOUSLY???
    EB: ...
    EB: on second thought, let's talk about movies.
    CG: YEAH, WE MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY FALL ON EACH OTHER ALL CLAWS OUT OTHERWISE, AND THEN IT'LL BE HELL HAVING TO MAKE OUT.
    CG: MAKE UP.
    CG: I MEANT MAKE UP. FUCK. TYPO. HAHA.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,514
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    343
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3981
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "If you're hitting on me, queue's to your left," Dave replies, and then he looks.

    The man has nice arms. Solid shoulders, strong biceps. Baby face still, baby-blue eyes in the white strobe lights and friendly dimples. Someone got him with funny cat-whiskers paint that's just subtle enough to tickle Dave's funny bone, but with a body like that he's got to be at least twenty.

    "What, no!" The man blushes so hard Dave can see his face darken even through the flashing lighting and dim of the dance floor. He actually honest-to-God flails his hands, what a dork. "I just -- argh, and you totally know that, don't you?"

    --
    Anonymous asked: Dave/Naruto, hooking up at a house party (papabrostrider is to blame for this one)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,642
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    320
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    2989
  18. Tags
    Summary

    "Yo. S'obvious our previous tricks aren't gonna work the same anymore, so let's open the floor to suggestions."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    637
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    172
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1384
  19. Tags
    Summary

    So, um. Terezi is kissing her. By the way.

    "Wowza. Lesbos R Us, at long last. I knew that day would come. Anyone got a camera."

    Terezi has a lot more teeth to get nibbly with than Karkat and her tongue is way longer and oh lord does she know how to use it. Jade wonders to herself, vaguely, why she never kissed her boyfriends' girlfriend before. That was a really silly oversight.

    Mmm.

    "Haha, shut up, Dave, you've been modeling for the Gay Dudes R You catalogue for like three years now."

    "Like you can talk, Mister It's Not Gay If He Doesn't Have Balls To Touch."

    --
    oneshot, plus a couple of ficlet sequels.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,909
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    341
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    6539
  20. Tags
    Summary

    It is known well that the Signless one, the Blood-Pained one, he of the Selfless Sacrifice, was loved dearly by his Disciple, as is the rightful order of things.

    Thus one day came to pass that she asked of him, O you with no name, for even this you gave away to one in need, have you no need of your own?

    And he demurred, in greatest shame, and refused to share his greatest selfishness, but by force of love and care at last the Disciple received her Master’s confession.

    --

    "Okay, so where the heck do I even start hunting fur a meowniature hoofbeast around here?"

    --
    Wherein Disciple, Nepeta and Dirk go a-questin’ for a goddamn pony.

    (Sunlightverse is a post-game series where the players end up as gods.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,825
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    240
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    4179

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