dirkjake
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In which Dirk portrays a stereo-typical response of the opposite person in a fantasy. by orphan_account
Homestuck
9 Apr 2012
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Dirk has the hots for Jake and has some time on his hands. If time were his dick i mean.
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Caught in a curse for over a thousand years, a man lies in a steely bed, a coffin of his own demise. However, the slight flicker of candlelight might not be enough to rouse the sleeping beauty when a lone adventurer wanders into the ruins of his home.
- Words:
- 3,335
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Kudos:
- 20
- Hits:
- 572
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Two different Dirkjake smuts.
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Dirk realizes that he no longer just likes Jake English, he loves Jake English.
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Prince Charming didn't show up for the ball. The axeman didn't take out the big bad wolf. The smart young lady left Wonderland in a haste. The boy stole the giants juju. Now the four of them want to run away.
The kids meet on a stormy night and begin on a journey to the perfect village, to start a new life, unaware they are being followed.
Along the way, they meet some unsuspecting followers, friends, romantic entanglements and comrades that want to accompany them. -
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Jake becomes trapped inside of his own body when the trickster takes over. He is forced to listen to Dirk break up with him and not be able to do anything about it. Also I suck at summaries.
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You tug as hard as you can on the chain and find it unbreakable. Your heart sinks as the realization sets in: you're stuck here forever.
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Your name is Dirk Strider, and you are the king of your lonely tower.
Your name is Jake English, and you are the sole adventurer of your infested island.
You are alone.
- Words:
- 588
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 15
- Hits:
- 272
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"Jake?"
"Oh, Strider is that you?"
"It's been a while."
"You've gotten a lot taller old chum."
"You've gotten a lot more broad... Muscular.... Nice moustache, by the way."
Just my attempt at an au universe where Bro/Grandpa is possible >__>
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How come the world looked so big and scary once you were alone? Once you were walking on a dead road against a place you never thought you would see like this? Covered in blood... not your own but...
- Words:
- 1,066
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 69
Bookmarks which have used it as a tag:
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Jake promised Dirk his virginity when they were only twelve, because when you are twelve, sixteen seems a long way away. Then again, when you are twelve, you also expect that you might feel different, about love and sex and other things that represent becoming a man.
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direct sequel to Human Touch.
Slowly but surely you’ve begun to acclimatize yourself to being touched. You no longer jolt when Jake claps your shoulder, and you think that’s admirable for the amount of time you’ve spent together so far. It hasn’t been very long at all.Series
- Part 2 of Human Touch
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You had all these preconceived notions about how you were going to romance the fuck out of him, but now that you're actually here you just want to hide. You've never seen a human in real life. You've never physically spoken to one. They've only ever appeared to you trapped behind a screen or in a book.
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- Part 1 of Human Touch
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You and your brother, Dave Strider, have certainly been spending a lot of time with Jake English and his cousin, John Egbert. You guys met through Karkat, and ever since then you've all been hanging out together, the 5 of you.
Jake English, being the stupid adventurer he is, suggested that you all go on a hike to an abandoned building. You then find an ectobiology lab that still kind of works, and John, being the idiot he is, plays around with it. You didn't expect to wake up feeling.... not yourself.
You then go on an adventure of feelings and huge screw-ups while being in someone else's body practically the whole time.
((Bodyswap!fic with all the cliche adventures of being in someone else's body. The POV switches through all 4 of them.))
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When Dirk left for Jake's island in September 2011, he was pretty psyched to finally meet up with his best bro. And then Jake was 'casually' asking him whether he'd ever kissed a bloke before and suddenly everything was super terrible. In which Jake is a doofus, Jane isn't altruistic (but totally is), Roxy wines *whines *okay both, Dirk is not cute and he's not confused either, he totally knows exactly what's going on, yeah, and all four of them are nothing more than big secret weirdos deep down. Mild AU.
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"This is how it's supposed to be, heaven or no."
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Faint heart never won fair lady, you think. Or fair gentleman either. "If you're going to kiss me," you say, "now would be an excellent time."
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Said asshole is Jake English, the All Mighty and Popular. He's cool to the masses and hot to the swooning, tasteless ladies and gentlemen. He's parlously pretentious and a bombastic bastard. He's a part of an elite group at the top of the high school's vicious food chain, and he crushes hopes and hearts in his cruel fist.
In short, he's a douche.
And it just so happens that he has the hots for you.
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Sometimes you wonder if everyone would have been better off if you had never been born at all.
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This will end up being nothing less than an endless, winding tangent of incalculable horseshit. It will consist of a series of journals alternately written by Dirk and Jake both, which will be filled in with a series of event scenes and assholish fact sets. Some other people may show up. Maybe there will be a hologram or five.
There are definitely carnivorous plants.
Basically, it's like a puzzle you don't get a hint coin for. -
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Your name is JAKE ENGLISH and you're the HEIR to your GRANDMOTHER'S FORTUNE.
(This started off an an rp with some people where it will go I have no clue omg)
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Dirk's recovery after his break down from Jake's rejection turns out to be quite eventful, and rewarding.
Sequel to Unavoidable.
(PLEASE mind the warnings before reading! But don't let the tags scare you too much. Happy ending, remember?)
Series
- Part 2 of Eventually
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Dirk's recovery after his break down from Jake's rejection turns out to be quite eventful, and rewarding.
Sequel to Unavoidable.
(PLEASE mind the warnings before reading! But don't let the tags scare you too much. Happy ending, remember?)
Series
- Part 2 of Eventually
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Dirk finally gets up the guts to tell Jake how he feels.
*Trigger for cutting*
Series
- Part 1 of Eventually
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You had all these preconceived notions about how you were going to romance the fuck out of him, but now that you're actually here you just want to hide. You've never seen a human in real life. You've never physically spoken to one. They've only ever appeared to you trapped behind a screen or in a book.
Series
- Part 1 of Human Touch
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A year apart for terribly good reasons leads up to a moment that Jake has been waiting for a year for... as the last few months pass by all of his thoughts are directed to the day when he's going to get to meet Dirk at the airport.
Effectively a gratuitous reason to write a really soppy kiss scene for Dirk and Jake.
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Jake English has been a very, very bad boy in the recent updates. Dirk Strider thinks he needs to repent for his behavior.
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A race to beat time and space and the Game itself!
A fight against impossible odds. A struggle that begins after the war is long over. A desperate gamble against loaded dice.
Help him, Jake English: you're his only hope.
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Jake's not patient enough to go back to his planet for some fun with Dirk. So, he decides they should have an impromptu adventure in LOTAK.
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Dirk's desire to have Jake dominate him doesn't exactly go like he imagined.