1 - 20 of 418 Works in Bad Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Drabbles and short fics written for the Live Journal community Comment Fics which can be found here: http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    612
    Chapters:
    3/32
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    58
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “You know,” an amused voice says, and Ty freezes, slowly looking up to meet irresistible blue eyes, “I make my coffee hot, but you may just be hotter.”

    From his left, there’s the sound of Livvy choking and dropping a spoon.

    He flushes, gritting his teeth, “What would you like to order?”

    “A cup of you, to go, please, no sugar, you’re sweet enough,” Kit smirks, and Livvy’s giggling now, not even trying to hide it, “And I would also appreciate if you stopped stalking my coffee shop. It just isn’t good to keep meeting like that.”

    Ty narrows his eyes, “This war isn’t over until I say it’s over, you truant. One coffee, black like your soul, coming up.”
    // The Blackthorns have a coffee shop. There's competition in town. Detective Ty is on the case.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,610
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    95
  3. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of prucan drabbles because my otp doesn't have enough fic. I take au/scenario suggestions in the comments if you feel like leaving one!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,561
    Chapters:
    56/?
    Comments:
    126
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    3302
  4. Tags
    Summary

    After Cassandra has seen the error of her ways and her father is captured she seeks out the man who changed her. She want's to know what happens next. Len gives it to her straight and in the process learns that some things have fallen out of practice in the future. He decides to give Cassandra an example.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    959
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    164
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Weddings were intended to be beautiful and memorable events. Dipper would know, having been dragged to his fair share of them since college. However there was one particular wedding that took the metaphorical cake, one that would stick with Dipper for the rest of his life.

    A romantic tale of late night Taco Bell visits, zoo hi-jinks, nude swimming, and way-too-smart younger brothers, this is the story of how Dipper accidentally fell in love with a runaway groom.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,875
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    226
    Kudos:
    573
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    5785
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Yahaba runs his fingers around the bright words marked on his wrist, stares at the vibrant purple, orange and lilac hues. It reminds him of a sunset. He feels like puking out all the water he drank earlier.

    Watari just watches him do so, a sympathetic look on his face while patting Yahaba’s back.

     

    “So,” Watari starts, cautiously. “Your soulmate is Kyoutani—”

    Oh my God.” Yahaba gasps. Watari nods solemnly and continues patting his back.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,814
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    283
    Bookmarks:
    25
    Hits:
    1676
  7. Tags
    Summary

    After a few weeks in the job, Oikawa figures out that Sugawara visits the museum regularly, and it’s always at noon
    He admits that yes, he is being a little bit childish about all this- avoiding Sugawara because what, he’s scared? There’s nothing scary about him at all.
    Which is why he decides to leave a note for Sugawara one day...

     (for the prompt ‘Messages’ from OiSuga Weekend Day 2: Mercury)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,221
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    353
  8. Tags
    Summary

    With another small glance at Alexander’s name written in his own marker pen, he took the same pen out of his front pocket and wrote something down. He finished the small statement with a smiley face that Aaron found himself smiling back. He didn’t know how to get Alexander out of his funk, but Aaron knew how to brighten up someone’s day. Aaron was a barista, they could write anything on your coffee cup.

    (The coffee shop AU that no one needed)

    Day 21 of the 30 Days of Hamburr Self-Induced Challenge of 2016

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,889
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    631
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Briefly, he dares to think that it’s all a dream - and it wouldn’t have been the first time he’s dreamt of Gerome going down on him by a long shot - before Gerome does something with his tongue that sends shivers up his spine and drags him back to the moment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,018
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    336
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When Tobirama returns with the drinks, Madara glances up, flushes slightly at the sight of him, and tries valiantly, if pathetically, “Do you drink milk? It certainly did your body good.”

    It takes effort not to throw the tray at him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    248
  11. Tags
    Summary

    An attempt at a pickup line doesn't go quite as well as one might expect.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    411
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    995
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Jack makes a bet with Brock that can't get one phone number. Brock says Challenge accepted! Loser owes the winner 72 hours of whatever the winner wants.

    "Brock’s first target was a lovely young woman ( if she’s older than 20, I’ll eat my own boots), with the tiniest tits. Coming up beside her, he tapped her on her shoulder to get her attention, once he was sure he had it he made sure to very obviously look her up and down before he opened his mouth for the first and last, he thought cockily, line of the evening.

    “Do you have a map? Because I want to have sex with you”, were the words out that spilled out his mouth before he was treated to her (rapidly) retreating figure. "

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,698
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    73
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The badass blondie, Elyza Lex, flirts even in an apocalyptic world where dead people walk and eat the living. Alicia Clark is trying to find her family and hates Elyza's lame jokes. Or at least she says so.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,137
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    328
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Written for this Ridiculous Sentence Prompt on Tumblr: “Fuck I feel like I got hit by a car… Wait I did? And it was your car?”. The anon who prompted this also asked for cheesy pick-up lines.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    869
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1607
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It's two in the morning. Ennoshita is tired, grumpy, and in no way in the mood for Tanaka's druken pick up lines.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,380
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    525
  16. Tags
    Summary

    This idea came from a Tumblr post by Like-Moonlight-Through-The-Pines which addressed, among other important questions: "Between Janeway and Chakotay, who writes all the cheesy pick-up lines?" This was meant to be a silly one-shot and then suddenly I had 2k words and all I can do is hope the ending's okay. Thanks also to EnterpriseDating on Tumblr for helping me with those bad pick-up lines ;)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    222
  17. Tags
    Summary

    An really doesn’t understand the fuss around Kirihara Akaya, cello prodigy and popular artist. Sure, he’s sort of pretty, but isn’t everybody in this industry? Besides, it can’t be worth an attitude like that, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,057
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    34
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Season 4 divergence. Right before his senior year begins, Blaine accidentally receives a text message from Sebastian. When he finds that his one-time friend is serious about turning over a new leaf, he replies and they rekindle their friendship. Unfortunately, between the Warblers, Sebastian's scheming twin sister, and a growing distance from Kurt, Blaine finds that old attractions die hard.
    This is the archived version of the fic posted weekly on my tumblr at http://laymytongueuponyourscarsff.tumblr.com/
    Warnings will be posted at the top of each chapter AND above their section.
    Title from the Bruce Springsteen song "Worlds Apart."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    199,379
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    4214
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dagni Surana is having the worst day. From missing important topics to spilling a smoothie on herself and finally sending weapons all over the place while running into a goofy Alistair. So maybe it hasn't been such a bad day?

    Yellow Torch Universe

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,878
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    123
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Jungkook visits the new ice cream parlor and his lack of swag around the ice cream guy is truly embarassing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,589
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    140
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1143

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