1 - 20 of 182 Works in Bad Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Bad at summaries. Set awhile after CAPTWS. Where Bucky finds someone that truly catches his eye and he does what it takes to make himself a place in her life. There will be fluff and sex and all those good things we all love to read but hate to admit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,398
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    506
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Another collection of responses to prompts I receive on tumblr, because the first was getting out of control. Mostly Ward/Simmons in nature. More tags will be added as they become relevant.

    New on 3/29: Chapters 7 (HYDRA Jemma and Grant go rogue), 8 ("Come on, just hit me!"), 9 (Under-reacting), 10 ("Did it hurt? ...When you fell from Heaven?"), 11 ("I just walked into a room at this party and somebody yelled 'dibs!'...": Jemma/Skye/Fitz/Ward), and 12 ("So...are we close enough friends that you're willing to bail me out?": Arrow crossover)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,672
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    638
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Derek Hale, a werewolf and porn star, also known as Darren Hayden, is looking for a new partner after a minor misunderstanding. He's lucky enough to get a request from Stuart Novak, a popular twink with a thing for blowjobs, knotting and werewolves in general. A guy, Derek knows too well from a variety of videos and he maybe has been drooling over for a long time. But, how well does he know him really? And more importantly: Will they ever stop making suggestive and inappropriate jokes?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,928
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    238
    Kudos:
    625
    Bookmarks:
    155
    Hits:
    19778
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Hunters and Witches, what could go wrong..
    ( jerk bitch fights, sarcasm galore, pickup artists, movie quotes.. Eventual smut? A little something for everyone)
    Can be imagined as a Reader story

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,752
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    239
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Scorpius likes Rose but, he doesn't know how to tell her. So, when he comes across an article about how to get girls to like you with the use of pick-up line's, he gives it a shot.
    ScorpiusxRose

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,926
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    60
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The first time Tenka came into the Kinjou pastry shop, he brought a whirlwind of energy with him. The entire bakery seemed to brighten up the moment he pushed the door open to trigger the ringing of the bell overhead. The volume of the customers’ murmurs increased as Tenka strided up to the counter with a smile as strong as Cupid's arrow. Shirasu was helpless against the handsome man’s shining and alluring aura.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,412
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    10
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Kuroo's roommate is having a friend over and, wow, Kuroo would absolutely love to get some of that. If only they could speak the same language...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,788
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    246
  8. Tags
    Summary

    A normal morning for the Winchester household. A world where Destiel is real and Samifer thrives. Gabriel tries his hand at becoming a pimp. Michael is the crazy cat lady of the group, professed mother of Dean, and expert sex therapist. Crowley has unfinished business to do and Adam thinks they're all idiots.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,543
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    455
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Armin didn't mean to fall in love. The last thing he wanted was to give up his time taking refuge in the library in exchange for tutoring some delinquent. But Eren was different- all the way from his gorgeous ocean green eyes down to the relentless way he won't let Armin push him out.

    And the last thing Eren wants to do is get kicked out of his new school before he discovers its biggest secret: what caused the rift between St. Maria's and St. Rose's, and why does everyone blame Armin for it? He's determined to get his adorable tutor to trust him before the clock chimes End Game. Before he has to switch schools- again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,482
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    159
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Stiles stays with his cousin Felicity for the summer after he and Malia have a bad break up

    when Stiles sees then meets Roy? He thought it was Jackson..Which totally excuses the whole “what the hell you doing here douche bag?” greeting….

    Stiles goes looking for something to make him feel powerful, feel useful again, someone who isn't weak. It however finds him after he is put in a coma, he wakes up and meets new people and finds out he has new powers.

    But are these people to be trusted? Only time will tell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,312
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    243
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    7758
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Competition led them here, and now Milt and Russ have a mostly caved-in mass of rock right behind them, and a solid wall of rock in front of them.
    Oh.
    And Russ has a secret that's hard to keep in tight spaces, and when pressed tight to specific FBI agents.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    798
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    367
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Now that you thought about it, you and Levi hadn’t really talked about having kids. Sure, every so often after Isabel went back to her aunt’s house you or Levi would joke that you were part-time parents, and you definitely made it clear you thought babies were adorable, but you two hadn’t really sat down and discussed having a kid. We’ve got enough money for it, that’s for sure. I think I’m ready to be a mom, but I don’t know about Levi. I think he’s more than capable but whether or not he wants a baby, I don’t know. You both had traveled the world, gotten hitched, worked careers you both liked for a while. You’d done the settling down part, maybe it was time to move onto the having kids part.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,033
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    204
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After their first conversation, Oikawa cries.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,721
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    4
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Season 4 divergence. Right before his senior year begins, Blaine accidentally receives a text message from Sebastian. When he finds that his one-time friend is serious about turning over a new leaf, he replies and they rekindle their friendship. Unfortunately, between the Warblers, Sebastian's scheming twin sister, and a growing distance from Kurt, Blaine finds that old attractions die hard.
    This is the archived version of the fic posted weekly on my tumblr at http://laymytongueuponyourscarsff.tumblr.com/
    Warnings will be posted at the top of each chapter AND above their section.
    Title from the Bruce Springsteen song "Worlds Apart."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    177,249
    Chapters:
    25/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    56
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2506
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Marian Hawke always had played the foolhardy hero. Maybe she should reconsider that life choice, but maybe she shouldn't, seeing as it was just that that got her flirting with the bank robber holding her hostage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,068
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    34
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Levi and Eren are baking cookies. Eren cannot help himself from trying to make everything into an innuendo. Involves bad puns, pick-up lines and horrible tries of seduction.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    426
  17. Tags
    Summary

    In which Atobe is trying to get laid through maybe-not-so-subtle hints and Tezuka is just too serious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,516
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    105
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After hearing about the horrendous pick up line Tommy used at his birthday party (seen in The Return), Felicity challenges the boys to give her their "worst" pick up lines.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,124
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1039
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Stiles gets drunk and Erica drags Derek to the bar.

     
    “Scott, Scott, just listen man. That guy over there, yes the one that looks like he could kill me, I’m gonna do him so hard man.” Stiles grabbed Scott’s face and turned him in the direction of the man he was talking about, almost elbowing his drink over in the process. “Do you see him? Or am I just hallucinating that hot piece of man flesh?"

    Scott beat away Stiles’s hands and recoiled. “Please Stiles for the love of God, never ever use the term man flesh where I can hear again. I’m begging you, that shit’s just disturbing."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,743
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    53
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    866
  20. Tags
    Summary

    What do you do when Pete Wentz comes into your music store and starts hitting on you with the worst pick-up line you've ever heard? You fall in love, of course!

    (aka that one au in which Patrick owns a music store and Pete is the hot guy that works in the tattoo parlor next door)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,843
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    948

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