1 - 20 of 199 Works in Bad Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Darcy finally had what she wanted, a date with the two hottest Gryffindors she knew. A big plus was their shiny objects as well.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,010
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    459
  2. Tags
    Summary

    We're the only two people in the theater for this really crappy movie, so hey, you want to make out?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    655
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    166
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Jensen is bet to pick up the bartender using the cheesiest pick-up lines he possibly can.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,719
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    1120
  4. Tags
    Summary

    He drops the cards and they flutter down onto the concrete and over Dean’s boots.

    “Fuck,” the guy says, arms heavy at his sides now and eyes squeezed shut tight with his face upturned to the sky.

    “Oh God, fuck. I’m so sorry. You’re- you’re just so pretty. I’m sorry.”

    He won’t look at Dean at all now and instead abruptly drops to kneel on the ground, frantically scooping up the notecards with his chin practically on his chest.

    “Did you just call me pretty?” Dean asks.

    Based off a post on Tumblr

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,242
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    649
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Clint knew that Pietro Maximoff was the BIGGEST little shit he had ever encountered. Aside from being extremely protective of his twin sister whenever Vision dared to look her way, Wanda’s face turning as scarlet as her jacket with the smallest of smiles, Pietro devoted his time to making Clint Barton’s life a living hell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,769
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    212
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1811
  6. Tags
    Summary

    An expansion on a prompt that was given to me on tumblr
    here (http://xsounds-homox.tumblr.com/post/116796256407/im-a-lifeguard-and-you-are-an-patron-who-really)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,171
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    243
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Derek Hale, a werewolf and porn star, also known as Darren Hayden, is looking for a new partner after a minor misunderstanding. He's lucky enough to get a request from Stuart Novak, a popular twink with a thing for blowjobs, knotting and werewolves in general. A guy, Derek knows too well from a variety of videos and he maybe has been drooling over for a long time. But, how well does he know him really? And more importantly: Will they ever stop making suggestive and inappropriate jokes?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,041
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    285
    Kudos:
    750
    Bookmarks:
    194
    Hits:
    24042
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Bananas are not Jamie's favourite, thank you very much.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    877
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    72
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    964
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Person A is getting hit on mercilessly at a bar and Person B swooces right in just before anything bad happens

    Poor Dave, being designated driver sucks sometimes but this time takes the cake.
    This dude did NOT understand that you were not in the mood for him to get in your pants. Jesus fucking dick.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,131
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    320
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Sam's doing boring work. Gabriel takes him out. Cheesy pickup lines and laughs lead to Sam making one conclusion: Gabriel is quite the cuddler.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,015
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    179
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Bad at summaries. Set awhile after CAPTWS. Where Bucky finds someone that truly catches his eye and he does what it takes to make himself a place in her life. There will be fluff and sex and all those good things we all love to read but hate to admit.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,209
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1595
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Another collection of responses to prompts I receive on tumblr, because the first was getting out of control. Mostly Ward/Simmons in nature. More tags will be added as they become relevant.

    New on 5/4: Chapters 13 through 39

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,893
    Chapters:
    39/?
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1880
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Smooth is a word that quite a few people would describe Evan Fong as... Just not the barista at this coffee shop.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,057
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    61
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dorks being dorks
    Sucky summary

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    569
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Season 4 divergence. Right before his senior year begins, Blaine accidentally receives a text message from Sebastian. When he finds that his one-time friend is serious about turning over a new leaf, he replies and they rekindle their friendship. Unfortunately, between the Warblers, Sebastian's scheming twin sister, and a growing distance from Kurt, Blaine finds that old attractions die hard.
    This is the archived version of the fic posted weekly on my tumblr at http://laymytongueuponyourscarsff.tumblr.com/
    Warnings will be posted at the top of each chapter AND above their section.
    Title from the Bruce Springsteen song "Worlds Apart."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    182,986
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2838
  16. Tags
    Summary

    十一知道如何挑选约会地点

    Series
    Language:
    中文
    Words:
    57
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    16
  17. Tags
    Summary

    “So, do I have the right to know the guy’s name at least?” Please don’t let it be anyone from Kirisaki Daiichi. Please don’t let it be anyone from Kirisaki Daiichi.

    Izuki looks pensive for only a moment before he taps on a few keys and shoves his phone in Hyuuga’s face.

    You may be the point guard of Seirin but you’re definitely the center of my attention.

    Izuki gets a suitor who knows the fastest way to his heart. Hyuuga's pretty sure he's going to have an aneurysm.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,431
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    453
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A normal morning for the Winchester household. A world where Destiel is real and Samifer thrives. Gabriel tries his hand at becoming a pimp. Michael is the crazy cat lady of the group, professed mother of Dean, and expert sex therapist. Crowley has unfinished business to do and Adam thinks they're all idiots.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,074
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    892
  19. Tags
    Summary

    One-shot collection of Daiya no Ace characters x Reader

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,251
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    224
  20. Tags
    Summary

    a collection of random ficlets I wrote for tumblr prompts - this is going to get updated whenever I take them on there in the future.

    update 20/4/2015: added a bunch of theon/robb ficlets (in order: finding out they're dating the same girl [talisa], canon fluff featuring grey wind, modern au plus bad pick up lines, alternate canon for 'theon saves bran' in book one and 1970s abandoned amusement park), one theon + wex trick or treating au with side throbb, one robb + sansa asos canon divergence ficlet, one jaime/brienne modern college accidentally matching halloween costumes au, a jack/boone [lost] post-finale fluff au ficlet, one damon/alaric [vampire diaries] ridiculous crack dick picks ficlet and three mcu ficlets (in order: bruce/natasha pre-canon with magic mirrors, steve/bucky high school au with punk!steve and hipster-ish bucky and always steve/bucky hs au where they end up fessing while playing truth or dare).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,234
    Chapters:
    42/42
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    173
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    4123

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