1 - 20 of 174 Works in Bad Pick-Up Lines

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Levi and Eren are baking cookies. Eren cannot help himself from trying to make everything into an innuendo. Involves bad puns, pick-up lines and horrible tries of seduction.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    307
  2. Tags
    Summary

    In which Atobe is trying to get laid through maybe-not-so-subtle hints and Tezuka is just too serious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,515
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    44
  3. Tags
    Summary

    After hearing about the horrendous pick up line Tommy used at his birthday party (seen in The Return), Felicity challenges the boys to give her their "worst" pick up lines.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,124
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    753
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Stiles gets drunk and Erica drags Derek to the bar.

     
    “Scott, Scott, just listen man. That guy over there, yes the one that looks like he could kill me, I’m gonna do him so hard man.” Stiles grabbed Scott’s face and turned him in the direction of the man he was talking about, almost elbowing his drink over in the process. “Do you see him? Or am I just hallucinating that hot piece of man flesh?"

    Scott beat away Stiles’s hands and recoiled. “Please Stiles for the love of God, never ever use the term man flesh where I can hear again. I’m begging you, that shit’s just disturbing."

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,743
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    670
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Hunters and Witches, what could go wrong..
    ( jerk bitch fights, sarcasm galore, movie quotes.. Eventual smut? A little something for everyone)
    Reworked into a Reader story

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,704
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    192
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Derek Hale, a werewolf and porn star, also known as Darren Hayden, is looking for a new partner after a minor misunderstanding. He's lucky enough to get a request from Stuart Novak, a popular twink with a thing for blowjobs, knotting and werewolves in general. A guy, Derek knows too well from a variety of videos and he maybe has been drooling over for a long time. But, how well does he know him really? And more importantly: Will they ever stop making suggestive and inappropriate jokes?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,469
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    211
    Kudos:
    559
    Bookmarks:
    125
    Hits:
    16810
  7. Tags
    Summary

    What do you do when Pete Wentz comes into your music store and starts hitting on you with the worst pick-up line you've ever heard? You fall in love, of course!

    (aka that one au in which Patrick owns a music store and Pete is the hot guy that works in the tattoo parlor next door)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,843
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    649
  8. Tags
    Summary

    From previous experience, Hurk was quite aware that his prickly boyfriend didn’t have a single romantic bone in his body and hated the very concept of the holiday, so he expected nothing special to happen on this particular Valentine’s Day.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,036
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    5
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of Valentines Day drabbles for our beloved sailor soldiers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,210
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    98
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It's Valentines Day and time for some corny pick up lines.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,205
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    195
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Tom Riddle wasn’t the type of person to celebrate Valentine’s Day nor partake in the sappy clichés of love in general. It was unfortunate for him that Harry didn’t share his dislike. Or perhaps it was actually a good thing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,317
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    507
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Kili is trapped in his cell, and there is a rather pretty captain walking toward him. His idea to talk to her involves a bad pick-up line contest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    271
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    373
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A series of drabbles, Yorkalina flavored

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,024
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    98
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Season 4 divergence. Right before his senior year begins, Blaine accidentally receives a text message from Sebastian. When he finds that his one-time friend is serious about turning over a new leaf, he replies and they rekindle their friendship. Unfortunately, between the Warblers, Sebastian's scheming twin sister, and a growing distance from Kurt, Blaine finds that old attractions die hard.
    This is the archived version of the fic posted weekly on my tumblr at http://laymytongueuponyourscarsff.tumblr.com/
    Warnings will be posted at the top of each chapter AND above their section.
    Title from the Bruce Springsteen song "Worlds Apart."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    170,941
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2229
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "I think I'll follow Kenma home instead..."

    Kenma swallows, wondering if he should run for it. Kuroo's grip tightens like he knows.

    "... After all, I've always been told to follow my dreams."

     

    --

    Or: In which Kuroo uses bad situational pickup lines, and Kenma tries to pretend that he hates it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,916
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    215
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1102
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Gideon, Mitchell and Joker make a bet. Whoever manages to get a date with Ilona by Valentine's Day, wins.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,691
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    16
  17. Tags
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    1,421
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    548
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After their first conversation, Oikawa cries.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,322
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    4
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Silly early!klaine ficlet. Blaine has come up with an awesome pick-up line. The way he delivers it, though, is not that awesome.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    724
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    278
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Kudo Haruka keeps finding bad pick-up lines in her locker and is determined to find the culprit.

    Warning: Really bad Morning Musume pick-up lines.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,220
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    65

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