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  1. Tags
    Summary

    John Egbert and Dave Strider form a bond over spilled tea, a ruined Ghostbusters shirt, and a mutual distaste for their cheating girlfriends.

    -

    "I'm totally open for business," He says, rummaging through the bag of random shit you bought at Walmart. You would bet he's searching for apple juice, which you did, in fact, buy for him. "Got ladies lining up around the block."

    You pull out a container of extra-strength Tylenol. "You are so full of shit."

    "I will literally kiss you right on the lips to prove I am so not full of shit."

    You wash down three pills with Dave's black coffee. There's a bitter taste in the back of your throat that you can't swallow. "What's stopping you?"

    He raises a slender eyebrow. "You."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,169
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    8
  2. Tags
    Summary

    At age eighteen you stop aging until you find your soulmate so you age together and live the rest of your lives together. Eridan and Kanaya don't believe they have soulmates and believe they'll live an immortal life devoid of love. Together the duo have lived centuries together and are now inseparable best friends and roommates.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,690
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    619
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat is a bartender in a southern college town. Dave is a musician on tour through the eastern US, and the few days he's in town feel like both an eternity and the shortest amount of time imaginable.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,459
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    151
  4. Tags
    Summary

    5. to live; exist:
    Hardly a man breathes who has not known great sorrow.

    -

    You hate yourself, but that's hardly your biggest problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,176
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    57
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat is bullied and meets someone the next day.
    (I'm not good at summary :^p)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,303
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    20
  6. Tags
    Summary

    This is where I will post all of my prompt fills. Most of these I got off the internet but I am taking any and all requests, including rare pairs. The main point of this is to try to get better at gritting and if my suckage can entertain someone while I'm at it I'm more than satisfied.

    No archive warnings apply because there hasn't been any smut yet, not one has really died, and there's no gore yet. This may change in future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,751
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    44
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of short Homestuck-based watersports stories I've written! Perhaps you could refer to them as drabbles, but given the subject matter "dribbles" seems more appropriate... Anyway, these mostly come from askbox prompts from my tumblr. They vary in length from one paragraph to 1000+ words, but generally don't have quite enough setup for me to want to post them as a standalone fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,364
    Chapters:
    28/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    4564
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Follow up smut for the 7/28 Homestuck update. (Terezi) and (Vriska) find eachother in the dreambubbles. Sloppy makeouts follow. PWP (porn without plot).


    You stare absentmindedly at the cracks in reality as you walk. Your hopes, regrets, even your memories, feel old and stale. You've been wandering so long there's nothing left to think about that you haven't already thought a thousand times. This isn't how you pictured things would end, when you were young and silly and bold and maybe happy too. When you were with...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,190
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    24
  9. Tags
    Summary

    This is a self-indulgent collection of Humanstuck ficlets. The stories are all consistent with one another but there isn't any plot or anything. More information in the notes.
    Well, enjoy the stories!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,858
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    51
  10. Tags
    Summary

    A story about how things might have gone if the kids hadn't made it to the meteor right away. Terezi Pyrope has a dream and Karkat Vantas is forced to make a choice regarding his moirail. Meanwhile, Gamzee Makara is standing at a crossroads of his own, Kanaya Maryam is trying to keep history from repeating itself, and Sollux Captor just wants to drive the fucking ship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,490
    Chapters:
    1/4
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    40
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Can't take the kid from the fight
    Take the fight from the kid

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,029
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    74
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1145
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is John Egbert, and you hate everyone.

    More importantly, you hate yourself -- your stupid teeth, the even stupider headgear that you're forced to wear everywhere, and the slur of every s that leaves your lips. It seems everyone hates you, actually; why haven't you offed yourself yet? Right, because you have two friends (Jade Harley and Rose Lalonde), a loving father, and an unrequited crush on eighth grader Dave Strider. That might be what you hate most about yourself, next to the teeth/headgear/slurred speech.

    Fuck your life.

    Currently being re-written under the name Breathe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,218
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    245
    Kudos:
    202
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    2694
  13. Tags
    Summary

    John has strange dreams and doesn't know why. Karkat also has these dreams but knows why but decided to keep it to himself.0u0

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,902
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    45
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider is a webcam stripper. He gets quite a good amount of cash for this little job, and he's got a devoted fanbase online. Of course, no one at his school knows about this, but things do seem to have a way of getting out. Especially where his best friend John is concerned. Lmao this is dumb

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,633
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    93
    Kudos:
    249
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3163
  15. Tags
    Summary

    An inverted refrain about these characters and their relationship. In an AU of the doomed timeline, of course. Written for the February Form Fiesta from the DeviantArt group ProjectDFC, which is all about poetry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    154
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    4
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Wherein a debt is called, FLARP is played, and suddenly Sollux Captor finds himself in the middle of a terribly-planned coup. Contains caste politics, an incredible amount of snark, an inadvisable basement operating theatre, quite a lot of relationship drama, and too many fucking pesterlogs since our hero never leaves his hive.

    ==> Play the game

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    132,465
    Chapters:
    27/28
    Comments:
    235
    Kudos:
    291
    Bookmarks:
    75
    Hits:
    6967
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "Anyway, yeah. Moral is; Karkat is a walking bundle of fury and anger and also an asshole who happens to actually be kind of pleasant to look at. It just so happens that you have him in your first period. It’s not a difficult class really; some history class that'll look good to colleges. It’s only a semester, not much homework, a few projects here and there but for some reason, you still have a D in it. In your defense, it is first period and you are a very busy man. What, with your turntables and time-consuming shitty drawings, whenever you do have homework for the class, it's not your first priority. Not to mention how popular you are amongst your friends. Everyone wants a piece of Strider but unfortunately, there’s only one of you and not enough to go around."

    Dave gets partnered up with Karkat for a project. Both of them are reluctant about working together but they suck it up. In the process of finishing said project, shenanigans ensues (some good, some bad) and they learn about more than just the Vietnam War.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,943
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    197
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1376
  18. Tags
    Summary

    In which a certain mothgirl goes through way too much shit because she cares more than she probably should. Includes too many characters to list, most of them assholes, one of them a perfect cinnamon roll too precious for this world.

    Snippets of Kanaya's POV throughout the events of "Sure I'll Check In The Back" and "But You Don't Even Like Coffee," as well as future fanfictions to come in this AU 'verse (so characters/tags to come as the story progresses).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,983
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    165
  19. Tags
    Summary

    (AN AU where Trolls and Humans both live on Earth, with the Trolls migrating from Alternia years ago.) John and Karkat have been childhood friends, and Dave met John online a few years back. Moving to Washington about a year ago, he and Karkat have gotten on decent terms. They all slowly but surely realize that they're all pointlessly in love, while trying to get through troubles at home and school.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,400
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    41
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1145
  20. Tags
    Summary

    After Roy and Jade's wedding, Kaldur decides to hell with being reserved. For one night he lives it up, but this happens to be afterwards.
    Get ready for an out of control Kal.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,040
    Chapters:
    2/5
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    35

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