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  1. Tags
    Summary

    jungcock: Take it off now girl juss take it off

    shmoopie: STOP

    minsugagenius: I'm a master baby with your bra

    shmoopie: I'M CRYUNG YOONGI WHY 

    jungcock: Take it off now girl juss take it off

    hoesucc: I can help you slide those panties off

    jimbo: Dim the lights down baby, dim the lights

    shmoopie: FUCK ALL OF YOU RIGH IN THE FUCKING ASSHOLE 

    shmoopie: I HATE ALL OF YOU I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON A DICK AND DIE

    [shmoopie left IMMA BEAT THAT PUSSY]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    54,429
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    1141
    Kudos:
    3169
    Bookmarks:
    427
    Hits:
    54141
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Andrew and Neil meet in a rehab clinic. The question is, what events lead up to this?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,698
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1723
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Aragon was the best of both worlds, at least to the man in black. Half human & half elemental sorcerer with a heap of untapped potential. The nineteen year old didn't know what to think of the entire situation even after years of being aware of it.

    He has one of two choices, both of which can impact his entire future. Aragon can stay where he'd grown up most of his life, Keystone Earth, or travel to Mid-World & discover the other half of his heritage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,099
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    7
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Lance just moved into his first apartment and is in desperate need of a job, an actual Iife, and everything that has to do with Takashi Shirogane. Now completely smitten with Shiro, Lance discovers that his newest crush works at a burlesque club in downtown Chicago, and falls completely in love with the life of the dancers on stage. Lance will settle for nothing less than to be on that stage with the beautiful, black-haired beauty named Keith.

    Keith, a former stripper and now a burlesque dancer, fell in love and has yet to recover from it. His relationship with Shiro was cut short after an incident at Keith's previous workplace, which led him to seek a job out at Downtown Daibazaal. Shiro's strict rules on not dating coworkers makes working with Shiro difficult, if not intolerable. With no other place to go to, Keith is forced to work through his feelings, or risk leaving the club for another unsafe work environment. It definitely doesn't help this new dancer manages to sweep Shiro off his feet without even trying.

    While Lance swoons over Keith's incredible dance routines, Keith can't help but loathe every part of Lance for winning Shiro over.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,629
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    312
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Victor finds a young woman who survived a werewolf attack. So where are the rest of the pack?

    Maybe he could help. What's in it for him?

    Originally posted Published at: 2017-03-19, Removed due to lack of interest. But someone contacted me on Tumblr and said they loved it, so I'm putting it back.

    I'm not totally happy with it, but here it is.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,130
    Chapters:
    31/?
    Comments:
    200
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    737
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Sandor Clegane knows that he swears. His beloved wife, Sansa, knows. Hell, even their three young children know. But since getting married and becoming a father, Sandor truly has tried his best to refrain from using curse words, especially in front of the little ones. However, when his weary wife institutes the "swear jar" to train him to curb his colorful language, Sandor and Sansa both come to the realization that sometimes you just can't teach an old dog new tricks.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,241
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    35
    Hits:
    274
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Beacon has fallen and the Four Kingdoms stand on the brink of war. RWBY has been divided; battling their own demons and handling the Fall in their own ways. But all roads lead to Mistral, and it isn't long before the members of RWBY find themselves drawn into the turmoil brewing in the east, and to new pains and secrets. Covers Vol 4-6.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,174
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    1
  8. Tags
    Summary

    She was an ex-assassin for the Nilfgaardian Empire, ruthless, experienced, definitely not cut out for a thing as love. Her lifestyle was too risky to get attached to anyone for the sake of them or her own.

    However, when her paths cross with Geralt of Rivia and he introduces her to the Blue Stripes, things change drastically for both her and the commander, Vernon Roche.

    ~

    This story contains major spoilers for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, Hearts of Stone & Blood and Wine. However, it doesn't follow any of the questlines.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,672
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    45
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    785
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Do you believe in love at first sight?

    Pudding, an oddly colored Japanese Bobtail, wasn't overly fond of the thought of living out his cat life in a pet shop but he wasn't about to meow at every potential pet owner for attention. On an ordinary day, he meets his human who immediately takes him home.

    Over the span of a year, Pudding grows very fond of his orange-haired lively human and though he is still a kitten, he notices how lonely his human seems from time-to-time.

    This is a story about cats who admire their humans so much, that they are willing to give up their comfortable life to see their human happy.

    *Chapters that contain more mature context will be marked and can be skipped for those uncomfortable. short summaries will be given in the following chapters.

    [2017-09-14] I am currently going through and editing chapters but I have a couple new chapters coming up soon. Thank you for being patient

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    80,309
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    188
    Kudos:
    676
    Bookmarks:
    72
    Hits:
    11743
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The office kept joking about how he was the Iceman, but to my eyes, he was rage, burning anger and fire.
    And I came to the conclusion after two weeks. Mycroft Holmes hated me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,155
    Chapters:
    32/?
    Comments:
    353
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2272
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Karen has a little too much fun scaring her older brother Edwin.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,869
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    24
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Customer service sucks. Especially when you have one tall, loud, annoyingly cute new regular who won’t leave you alone. Or when you’re exiled to coffee duty after showcasing your roasting skills on a customer. Either way, it's the worst.

    A Sandwich shop AU in which Yaku’s most problematic regular slowly becomes a favorite, Hanamaki finds his soulmate by roasting more than just coffee, Kenma is probably the world’s greatest tutor, and Kuroo is a safety hazard to all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,323
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    167
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1149
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In the Shire, hobbits say, "What lovely weather we've having." They also stir their teacups for four and a half clockwise rotations, place their left elbow seven-eighths down the way of the arm rest, and sniffled pointedly, which roughly translates to: "This tea is over-steeped and bland, your furniture is both uncomfortable and horrifically tasteless, and you're a twit of a host."
    And I think that's beautiful.
    ~
    Hobbitish is a language of manners and etiquette, the dwarves don't even know that Hobbitish is a thing, and Bilbo is trying to keep a straight face and his peace of mind while the Company unintentionally keeps sexually propositioning him and challenging him to pie-eating contests to the death.
    ~
    Actions speak so much louder than words.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,659
    Chapters:
    10/16
    Comments:
    198
    Kudos:
    589
    Bookmarks:
    201
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Sebastian's mother was always concerned he'd get the help a membership to the 'pudding club'.

    She was delighted when Sebastian married darling 'James'.

    Now she wants grandchildren, and Jim faking his own death? Sebastian is going to have to get over that, because Sebastian is 43, and *tick-tock*...

    (Fourth of the trilogy, because apparently that's how I roll. It could maybe manage as a stand alone but will make far more sense if read in order. Sex Room is not required reading to understand the character development arcs, it was just an offering to appease readers during a long spell of angst in Panjandrum.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,405
    Chapters:
    7/35
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    123
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Growing up in Renaissance Florence, Ezio Auditore struggles with love, friendship and duty to his family, but only one relationship stays with him throughout his adult life. Loving a genius can be...complicated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,813
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    75
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Somewhere in an alternate universe, an epidemic spread. A failed science experiment let loose a plague that would turn humans into vampires. Now that vampires had been roaming the planet for eighty years, both amounts of vampires and vampire hunters have risen. Jonathan is the best of those said hunters. He'd taken down so many vampire clans it was hard to keep count. After a frightening encounter with a mutant species of vampires, he's not sure if what he's living in is ever a dream or real life anymore. After teaming up with several other vampire hunters, Daithi and Brian, they begin to figure out what exactly is going on and how to stop it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,639
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    209
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The first time Fenris heard Gemma Hawke sing it was joyous and wild and intoxicating and he couldn't look away--no matter how much he knew he should. It would be seven years before he heard her sing like that again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,438
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    9
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Ladybug stared at her yoyo’s communication screen blankly. “I had to have heard that wrong,” she muttered, hitting the ‘replay message’ with her thumb.

    The black screen sprang to life, showing a furiously blushing Chat Noir ducked down behind a wall. There was a faint thudding boom, like a large firework, followed by a much more… masonry sounding boom, and the sound of stonework collapsing.

    #“Ladybug! There’s a Champion at Hôtel Matignon. She can fly, melee combat, no mind control. I think the Akuma is in her hammer, when she hits metal with it, it turns into, well, just about anything… including ranged weapons. Like cannons. She really likes cannons.”# There was another set of booms. #“…Very, very scary cannons. Calls herself the ‘Tinker’.”#

    Alright. Chat sounded a bit stressed, but the information was the usual type they tried to tell each other when one of them got to an Akumatized before the other. Basic bullet points of what they’d found to be the vital info. But then-

    #“PLEASE hurry, she doesn’t have leggings!”# Chat wailed on the recording, his blushes getting worse before he ended the call.

    No. She HAD heard it right the first time. Maybe it’d make sense when she got there.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116,682
    Chapters:
    72/72
    Comments:
    996
    Kudos:
    410
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    10758
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Seventeen is a small theatre group of sleep-deprived and theatre-passionate college students.

    And, would you look at the calendar, they are holding auditions tomorrow.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,257
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    846
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Bri is a fighter and a damn good one. She is determined, knows how to save Thedas, and will; but still bound and crippled by the mental chains of over a decade of physical and emotional abuse, will she ever be strong enough to truly save herself?

    Slow burn novelization of the day to day of A Modern girl in Thedas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,832
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    809

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