1 - 20 of 112 Works in Suicidal Sam

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel knew this was a stupid idea. But, he never had a chance to be a big brother before. And Sam was just begging for the comfort of an older sibling. Dean wasn't doing his job, so Castiel stepped up to the plate.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,660
    Chapters:
    10/11
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    181
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1930
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Sam has had feelings for his brother, Dean, for the longest of times. Maybe it was the way they have relied on each other, or maybe it was the way Dean was his brother, best friend, and father.

    But what happens when Dean finds out about Sammy's feelings by finding his journal? And what happens when Dean doesn't return said feelings?

    With a distraught and disgusted Dean, misery couldn't even begin to describe Sam's feelings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,734
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    770
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Five in "While You were Gone" series and prequel to the other works.
    Sam was looking for his brother and nothing was going to stop him. He would move Heaven and Hell to find him. But what happens when not demons nor angels are the ones who capture him but humans? He's about to find out how truly terrifying humans can be and this might just be the reason he stopped looking for his older brother.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,761
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1975
  4. Tags
    Summary

    The sea wants to take me, the knife wants to slit me, do you think you can help me?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,377
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    271
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Sam has anorexia. It started with him skipping lunch, but his not eating has become more. It's the only way he can protect Dean. Sam struggles with self hate at his bony body, and ends up cutting himself as he tips closer to falling off the edge. The question is, will Dean be able to catch Sam before he shatters?

    Warning: this work contains anorexia and self harm. If this is a problem for you, please do not read it!

    If you are going to hurt yourself, call: 1-800-273-8255

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,354
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    94
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1474
  6. Tags
    Summary

    AU from end of Southern Comfort. Sam takes Dean's words to heart, his mind throwing in its own two cents. Believing it is what will make Dean happy, Sam runs and becomes untraceable until it is almost too late. Dean calls in any help he can to find his brother, including angelic assistance. But finding someone with the knowledge Sam has, and who doesn't want to be found, the remaining members of Team Free Will better pull out all the stops, and fast. Sastiel. TRIGGER WARNING: self-harm, cutting, suicide. warnings in each chapter

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,783
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    215
    Kudos:
    483
    Bookmarks:
    90
    Hits:
    7712
  7. Tags
    Summary

    When a hunt goes wrong, it changes Sam's life forever...and unknown to him, Dean had been in a similar situation years before

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,962
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    589
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sam Winchester was a faithful man. He prayed every day to a God that never answered. He hunted bad creatures that did bad things, and he didn’t expect to receive any thanks for his job. When he drank demon blood, he prayed for forgiveness, and when he stopped, he prayed for strength. He’d prayed for Dean so many times it wasn’t funny any more. And just before Sam met Castiel, he’d prayed for help.
    He’d thought his prayer had been answered – it was an Angel of the Lord, how could it not be – but then that angel said those damning words that gnawed at his insides:
    “Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,788
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    54
    Kudos:
    206
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    2096
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It isn´t like he didn´t know.
    How fucked up he is.
    He knows because there isn´t one minute when he doesn´t think about it.
    Everytime he looks at his brother, he remembers why he hasn´t eaten in days or throwed up when he does. He knows because Lucifer tells him everytime he has the chance to.
    He would tell him how absolutely sick he is (like he doesn´t know himself) and how Dean would abandon him, yell at him, and, when the devil is in a good mood, how his big brother would kill him.

     

    Sam is tired. Dean doesn´t know how to help him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,163
    Chapters:
    3/5
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1486
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When Sam was nine, she'd insisted she was too big to be sitting in Dean's lap and by eleven she physically had been. When the shock and the fury fall off and the sobbing begins, though, Dean just doesn't know what else to do. Just hauls her against his chest and rocks her like he did when she was two and couldn't sleep; five and had a nightmare; seven and didn't understand why Dad had yelled at her.

    Besides which, maybe he needs her close right now; has to keep her right here until he can figure out how to save her.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,098
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    232
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Some things may seem unforgivable, but sometimes, those things are not as they seem. Sometimes, the whole story turns out to be far worse in a completely different and unexpected way.

    "He — he was my brother, my baby brother. And I realized that after I lost him."

    Rated for swearing and sensitive themes. Not a death fic. Story told in Dean's P.O.V (second person).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,790
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2134
  12. Tags
    Summary

    I used to wonder, if I pretend for long enough that I’m ok, maybe I’ll believe it, too. Everyone else has already been fooled, so how much harder do I need to try to make it real? I used to wonder about that, wonder about it a lot. But not anymore. Now I know it doesn’t matter. Because everything is still inside of me, and it’s never going to go away. The guilt, the hatred.

    The truth.

    The monster.

    Sam has finally had enough. While Castiel and Dean are both out of the hotel room, Sam writes a letter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,660
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    158
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2508
  13. Tags
    Summary

    After Sam's wall breaks thanks to Castiel, the memories of his time in Hell are haunting Sam more and more; the lack of sleep without killing himself - literally - wasn't helping. He didn't know what to do or where to go; he couldn't let Dean know just how bad it was. And so Sam found himself on the edge...

    Gabriel wasn't sure if he should be thankful or suspicious for the reasons his Father brought him back. Bastard hadn't said a peep, sent a letter, nothing. So he entertained himself, wandering around the world. His carefree ways are about to end, though....

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,914
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    31
    Kudos:
    123
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1567
  14. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    0
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    416
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Sam and Dean Winchester have no faith in faith or soulmates. They shall have to face their doubts in order to overcome the troubles they stumble over in the from of two boys. Gabriel and Castiel. Two brothers living together with their large family out on the countryside.

    *Based on the prompt: What happen on one soulmate's skin happens to the other one's too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,065
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    2131
  16. Tags
    Summary

    "In the corner of the aisle there was a small display of Plan B pills.
    Ignoring the way his hand was shaking, he shoved them into the basket as well.
    He walked out of the aisle—and turned around, grabbing a second bottle of pills with a smiling, glowing pregnant woman on the front"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,627
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    130
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2444
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Takes place during 5.04 The End from where Sam is. Exploring the part where Lucifer said he would just bring Sam back if he tried to kill himself.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,251
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    783
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Three days ago, Dean came home to find Sam in the bathroom, wrists slit and barely breathing. Now, as Sam lays in the hospital unconscious, Dean finds a box of tapes left out for him to listen to. Curious, he presses play, but he never could have imagined what he would hear coming through the headphones.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,575
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1155
  19. Tags
    Summary

    5 + 1 set in season 5, directly from the point they're zapped onto the plane. There are some miscommunication after the voicemail, Sam thinks Dean wants to kill him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,084
    Chapters:
    6/7
    Comments:
    127
    Kudos:
    337
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    5395
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Sam is depressed and suicidal, and once he meets a nurse (Castiel) in the psychiatric ward that he's admitted into, he learns a lot about himself while also improving his mental state.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,998
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    597

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