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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Constantly bullied and abused Castiel Novak knows and believes that no one will ever love him. But things soon change for him when he meets Dean Winchester, an older and deeply troubled boy, who develops an interest in Castiel and all the scars he has.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,107
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1402
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel is struggling with his own thoughts and feelings of self-worth. Dean doesn't help when there's a slip of the tongue that sends his husband into a downward spiral.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,228
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    666
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Battered, bruised and neglected Castiel attempts to struggle through high school whilst juggling two jobs and looking after his two younger sibilings and his dead-beat mother. Now is not the time for Castiel to fall head over heels for some jock with jade green eyes and an intoxicating smile.....

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,197
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    167
    Kudos:
    430
    Bookmarks:
    66
    Hits:
    5726
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life,"

    -Sandi Lynn

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,627
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1776
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When a call for help from an old friend comes in, Dean and Cas embark on a case that takes them across the ocean to an Australian paradise. The people in need of their help maintain a fascinating connection to the veil, in a manner neither Dean nor Cas could have expected. As long denied emotions and desires between them are finally acknowledged, each are forced to confront their painful pasts in unique ways. The mysteries of the case slowly begin to reveal a much bigger villain at play, however, the closer they get to identifying the evil plaguing this paradise, the more they understand the enemy which has been working against them for the past ten years. Dean and Cas must decide once and for all what they each want, and if they are willing to suffer the required cost in order to achieve true happiness.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    221,713
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    1658
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Bardzo apodyktyczny i brutalny alfa Dean porywa ślepego wilczka, Casa i to jest dopiero początek ich wspólnych przygód. Jeśli chcesz do mnie napisać: saxnas.pl@gmail.com :)

    English version here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3991507/chapters/8962606

    Series
    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    817,901
    Chapters:
    292/?
    Comments:
    3057
    Kudos:
    1707
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    52478
  7. Tags
    Summary

    After a witch hunt gone terribly wrong, Dean calls Castiel in a desperate attempt to save Sam's life, but the angel's help comes with a very high price. With Cas' borrowed Grace burning out faster every day, the Mark of Cain being more active than ever and a bottle of whiskey to top it all, a confession from Castiel sends Dean's entire life spiraling out of control.

    Set after 10x10, "The Hunter Games".

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    535,514
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    649
    Kudos:
    808
    Bookmarks:
    179
    Hits:
    24150
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Ever since Cas confessed he's afraid he might kill himself, Dean's been on high alert. And after Cas leaves for Heaven, adamant he has to face his fears, Dean is more worried than ever, with no way of knowing if Cas is even alive. Still, it's a surprise when Cas calls for him in the middle of the night, but Dean's more than willing to help Castiel and make him feel loved.

    WARNING: suicide attempt

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    881
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel Novak had the same goal every year. To keep following the rule that hadn't let him down yet. His rule, you ask? Simple. Stay alive. "As long your heart beats Castiel, you'll be fine." His mother used to tell him.
    He had no problem following that seemingly easy rule. He never did anything that would cause someone to give him a second glance, he spoke only when spoken to and never ventured out of his lane, he simply existed.
    But Dean Winchester decided to crash his Baby straight into Castiel's lane. Maybe his rule was overrated anyways.
    Add the fact that Castiel is schizophrenic, Dean has about million personal problems and you have a rollercoaster of events.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,911
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    158
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Enriching and delving deeper into Cas/Dean moments: What went on in Dean's head. Season 7 and 8 with some flashbacks from previous seasons.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,319
    Chapters:
    25/25
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    2477
  11. Tags
    Summary

    this fic is fucked up, you are warned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    616
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    396
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel has always been in the darkness never in the light. After moving Castiel has to face even more challenges with new bullies which includes a green eyed boy. But not only does Cas have to deal with bullies but his problems at home. Until he is almost pushed past the breaking point when something suddenly changes in Castiel's life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,722
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    2569
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Dean knew the signs.
    He noticed them, but he didn't say anything.
    He ignored them until everything fell apart.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,006
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    968
  14. Tags
    Summary

    What if it all wasn’t just subtext? Individual, subjective interpretation? What if we’re only seeing a fraction of what’s going on with the Winchesters? What would happen if we saw what was actually happening off-camera?

    Destiel might not technically “exist”, but that’s because the cameras haven’t captured it. Now that the fourth wall has been broken, subtext may become explicit text. Explicit being the operative word here.

    Season 12 Ongoing Fix It from 12x09 through 12x23.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,535
    Chapters:
    15/15
    Comments:
    486
    Kudos:
    611
    Bookmarks:
    128
    Hits:
    11279
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dean már egy ideje tudja, hogy valami nincs rendben szerelmével, s végre készen áll, hogy lépjen valamit. Ahogy pár éve őérte is tette Sam.

    A történet idejében valamikor a Veled lenni előtt, de már a Csókolózni Veled után játszódik.

    Series
    Language:
    Magyar
    Words:
    1,557
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    18
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel Novak has decided his end. How he will go. When. Every little detail planned out. However, he didn't plan for the hottie on the bridge that day he planned to jump....

    Just because Castiel has plans, doesn't mean life doesn't have some of their own.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,147
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1402
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Cas, the blind wolf was kidnapped by Alpha Dean, and tries to struggle against his dramatic fate: violence, slavery. Has he any future after that all, with whole load of bad experiences, the trauma and hate to Dean – his torturer? Is he able to feel any happiness ever more? Is there any hope for them, for him (because he is the victim)? Or the only what he can expect is the immensity of misfortune, ‘cause there is nobody to care him, and he is only dependent of his hangman's' mercy?

    Originally I wrote it in Polish, but now I can share it with the English-speaking readers, which makes me very happy! I hope you really enjoy it. If you want to contact me please do not hesitate and use my e-mail: saxnas.pl@gmail.com or leave a comment at the end of chapter :)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,930
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    194
    Kudos:
    296
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    13046
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Castiel has left the bunker and is trying to build a life for himself, alone, and is failing. He moves from one homeless camp to the next, struggling to find his place in the world and feeling more unwanted as every day passes. He never meets April, and with no form of identification to prove who he is, he never gets offered a job at the Gas n Sip.

    Eventually, he falls in with the wrong crowd and his life takes a sudden, violent downward spiral. After months of searching, Dean and Sam manage to find him and bring him home, but at what cost?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,066
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    336
    Kudos:
    373
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    7165
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dean goes out on a self-pity run. He needs hedonism to drown himself in after a particularly bad hunt, but Sam goes out of town on a hunt for his coping, so he tells Cas to look after Dean. Castiel takes on a female vessel just for the time being, but everything goes wrong when Dean unknowingly flirts with his best friend. Due to an angelically altered drink to Cas, lust overwhelms him. They, as one would say, shatter the meat tunnel. The next morning, Castiel panics, but realizes that he cannot leave the new vessel. Fortunately, Sam agrees to help, but Cas has to figure out how to keep this scandalous event away from Sam and Dean. Less fortunately, Cas begins needing food, feelings cramps, and experiencing horrible nausea. What could this elixir have done to Cas' new vessel?

    (See notes for other warnings)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,309
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    480
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "He kept fighting. Tried to be okay. And sometimes, he was. He truly loved Dean. The rare moments when they laughed together, when he would catch the hunter staring at him with adoration he didn't deserve...those were the things keeping him alive. But he was drowning. Choking on the idea he could ever belong here." Trigger warning for suicidal thoughts. Set in Season 9.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,187
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1107

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