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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Thor: The Dark World is full of holes in the script through which a fleet of helicarriers could pass with ease. If the portal through which Loki brought the Chitauri into New York had been as big as these plot holes, he'd be ruler of Earth right now. Characters behave in a completely illogical fashion because the plot requires it. It's like the scriptwriters had heard of people, but never actually seen one.

    This is a series of unconnected, sometimes cracky ficlets pointing out the holes.

    I really, really hated Thor: The Dark World. Because of that movie, I grew to really, really hate Thor, who before I had loved a lot.

      If you don't want to see TDW or Thor being ripped mercilessly to shreds, don't read this.

    This is just me letting off some steam. I'll be adding to these whenever I feel the need to vent about everything wrong with this movie. Brilliantly acted, beautiful to look at, morally appalling, and with the stupidest screenplay imaginable.

    Also, thank you to Pluma for suggesting the title.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,804
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    795
    Kudos:
    631
    Bookmarks:
    95
    Hits:
    9889
  2. Tags
    Summary

    One by one they wish upon and a Titan answers their calls. Some for reasons of selfish nature. Others for salvation upon their skin and soul. He answers, of course he does, but all things have a price.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,316
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    231
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The time has finally come! After twenty years of watching everyone else around her find their "perfect slice of forever", it's time for Leah Clearwater to receive hers. Once she becomes the subject of an imprint, that means letting bygones be bygones and riding off into the sunset with her new love.

    Except that Leah's already happily engaged to someone else. And is in no way interested in getting with the son of her backstabbing cousin and cheating ex-fiancé. Or imprinting in general by this point. Not when it's twenty years and too many heartbreaks too late.

    The others attempt to push the issue.

    Leah is having none of that.

    It's time to make a few things clear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,948
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    237
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Charlie discovers that Edward have been sneaking in to Bella's bedroom. He went to the locksmith to place an order to change his locks. He receive something more instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,990
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    88
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When Claire was a child she was treated like a princess. The one constant in her life gave her anything she wanted in the persuit of being what she needed.

    Now, Claire knows better, because this is a horror story. She was a victim and the road to healing is a long one.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,774
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    192
  6. Tags
    Summary

    They said imprinting makes the couple "perfect" for each other, that it makes the imprinter whatever the imprintee needs. They don't even know the half of it.

    Sam certainly didn't. Not until it was already too late.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,680
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    300
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "I made the choice to help you. Because when everything is said and done, I don't stab the people close to me in the back for my own selfish gain.”

    Leah took a breath.

    “I'm not you."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,352
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    215
  8. Tags
    Summary

    A happy couple is torn apart by imprinting. A young man leaves his love for another. A woman does not stay loyal to her family. And a broken heart is left alone to pick up the pieces.

    And wasn't it just so familiar...?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,308
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    290
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Everything just seemed to fall into place. No matter what she did, no matter who was hurt because of her, no matter what technically should have happened, there were no consequences. Any problem was taken care of. Everything she ever wanted, she now had.

    And wasn't it all just a little too perfect?

    Meet the puppet master. He has a few words for you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,088
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    135
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It didn’t start with six children, and it didn’t end with six children. But, somewhere in the middle, came along six children. They were a patchwork of misfits. In most ways, they were very, very different. Their uniting factors included a penchant for sarcasm, distaste for authority, and the pair of wings each of them had sprouting from their back.
    This story is much bigger than them, but it’s the little things that count.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,101
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    189
  11. Tags
    Summary

    「指切りげんまんうそついたら針千本のます」
    ----
    What is your pinky for?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,599
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    389
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Ana Steele only volunteers to go interview businessman Christian Grey because her girlfriend, Kate, is sick and can't reschedule or find a replacement from the paper. When Ana finally meets Grey, she is shocked by how awful a person he is.

    The very-overdone concept of The Interview, except with a non-idiot Ana.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,830
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    468
  13. Tags
    Summary

    La trotamundos solitaria despierta una mañana como tantas otras, solo para encontrarse con un universo paralelo al suyo, donde nada tiene sentido. Confundida y desesperada por regresar a su propio mundo, deberá lidiar con las ridículas decisiones que su otro yo ha tomado, además de tener soportar a aquél molesto e inútil necrófago que asegura ser su guardaespaldas y protector.

    Esto es un descarado spitefic además de una mezquina parodia/sátira.

    Series
    Language:
    Español
    Words:
    3,347
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    20
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Alternate Universe, wherein Casey and Jane never lost contact with each other after school. Also, stereotypes abound.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,099
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    115
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Lightsaber proof armour is only so useful.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    384
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    112
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Because Quil and Claire cannot ever end well. Part of the Monster Men series. Claire wishes she can go back to childhood, but all that is left is hatred...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,364
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    671
  17. Tags
    Summary

    What if Breaking Dawn wasn't a Mary Sue fantasy, but a story with a plot, character development, and consequences? What if Bella's transformation actually was a sacrifice, and not only her getting used to an alien body was a challenge, but also staying alive in a world filled with enemies? Find out how a naive, selfish girl grows up and copes with the biggest mistake of her life.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    225,838
    Chapters:
    36/36
    Comments:
    119
    Kudos:
    127
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    2854
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Fëanáro (Quenya): one who is ruled by their passions; literally "spirit of fire". The name of an Elven king who was ruled by his anger and in so doing brought his people into the Everlasting Darkness, whose name is now a curse on the tongues of men.

    (This is not coincidental.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    561
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    382
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It was the second time Bella Swan went missing. The first time they found her dead to the world, shivering and cold as a statue. The second Angela finds her drunk, throwing rocks at a glass wall and screaming at the sky.

    In Angela's opinion, it's an improvement.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,236
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    590
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Bella Swan is addicted to the knife.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    305
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    152

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