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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    In which seven and a half sweeps old Karkat Vantas, member of her Imperial Luminesce's Threshecutioner Corps, takes his moirail's kismesis out on an errand, encounters a variety of problems to do with sea monsters, becomes involved in excruciatingly complicated relationship tangles with his moirail's kismesis' inclade and ends up flipping as many tables as he does quadrants. Contains two ocean-going fight scenes, one lusus, distressing incidences of clown cultism, his lawyer, and absolutely no interactions with the quinity whatsoever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,485
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    1632
    Bookmarks:
    301
    Hits:
    62889

    9 Feb 2016

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "And then I saw a new Alternia, for the old Alternia had passed away." -- St. Troll John Cusack

    How the Empire knelt to a clown, a mutant and a lawyer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    130,209
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    408
    Kudos:
    2795
    Bookmarks:
    899
    Hits:
    121720

    9 Feb 2016

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    'There's a whole other story, about that, a girl with mirrors over her eyes and a man who was scared to care about anything.'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    83,102
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    221
    Kudos:
    1235
    Bookmarks:
    449
    Hits:
    36502

    9 Feb 2016

  4. Public Bookmark 62

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    Eridan Ampora is topping the charts as one of America's most beloved pop stars of today. He's self absorbed, selfish, manipulative, and has the looks of a god. And he flaunts it. Sollux Captor is an unknown, a random, just a civilian living on the east coast. He works at a call center, and never went out of his way to keep up to date with pop culture. Eridan and Sollux are best buds, strictly online and without an inkling of who the other is behind the screen, never hearing the other's voice or seeing their face. This didn't bother Eridan until he started to fall in love with him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,714
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    122
    Kudos:
    426
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    5320

    9 Feb 2016

  5. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In which seven and a half sweeps old Karkat Vantas, member of her Imperial Luminesce's Threshecutioner Corps, takes his moirail's kismesis out on an errand, encounters a variety of problems to do with sea monsters, becomes involved in excruciatingly complicated relationship tangles with his moirail's kismesis' inclade and ends up flipping as many tables as he does quadrants. Contains two ocean-going fight scenes, one lusus, distressing incidences of clown cultism, his lawyer, and absolutely no interactions with the quinity whatsoever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,485
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    1632
    Bookmarks:
    301
    Hits:
    62889

    9 Feb 2016

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  6. Public Bookmark 71

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    Your favorite place on the ship is a small wing of the upper deck dining hall called a “coffee shop.” You don’t really know much about it, actually, except for the little things you hear now and then. Coffee is a drink from a planet called Earth, as is the alien chained to the counter, who calls itself a “human.” You only know that much because you overheard it say so to an angry highblood once.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,677
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    189
    Kudos:
    295
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    2406

    9 Feb 2016

  7. Public Bookmark 1

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    He was doing it again. He was doing it on purpose. He knew how it got his matesprit – his matesprit – hot and bothered with every swish of his skirt clad hips. Sollux’s eyes fell on the shifting fabric, imagining the yellow lace panties hidden beneath them, picked out just for him tonight.

    Every now and then, Eridan would spin around on the crowded dancefloor to lock eyes with him, licking his dark lips once – twice – before turning back to the mass of sweaty bodies to continue to bounce to the beat. Sollux thanked Gog that he had convinced his matesprit to forgo the tube top in favor of a shimmering black spaghetti strap shirt with his insignia etched over his pump biscuit. If he had to see all of those strangers hands wandering over Eridan’s bare flesh… well… they would have to find a new club to go to.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,214
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    50

    9 Feb 2016

  8. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The first time you pass by the troll in the box you kind of try not to see it.

    It's gross as fuck when people do this. You guess maybe it's better than driving them out into the country and dumping them to make it on their own, or those stories you've heard about people dumping unwanted wrigglers in sacks into rivers--those you try not to think about because fuck, that is not okay on any level but it's not like you can do shit about it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    71,873
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    1202
    Kudos:
    5596
    Bookmarks:
    1015
    Hits:
    181601

    9 Feb 2016

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  9. Public Bookmark 19

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    Summary

    "Karkat had not been expecting company; he took a moment to be glad that he had bathed earlier and that the only thing visible on his screen was the game he had been failing at moments ago, but all else aside the predominant mood was rage. "I'm just showing you how overworked you are," Sollux said, obnoxiously aware of his anger. "Holding you down's even easier than usual.""

    Karkat is wound pretty tight due to not sleeping. His matesprit and kismesis altruistically conspire to tire him out in a groundbreaking and creative fashion.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,294
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    110
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2114

    9 Feb 2016

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  10. Public Bookmark 2

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    Alternatively titled in which John struggles as a trans freshman in high school who may or may not be totally gay for his best friend, who is, coincidentally, also a trans freshman in high school.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,023
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    339

    9 Feb 2016

    Bookmarker's Collections:
  11. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In which seven and a half sweeps old Karkat Vantas, member of her Imperial Luminesce's Threshecutioner Corps, takes his moirail's kismesis out on an errand, encounters a variety of problems to do with sea monsters, becomes involved in excruciatingly complicated relationship tangles with his moirail's kismesis' inclade and ends up flipping as many tables as he does quadrants. Contains two ocean-going fight scenes, one lusus, distressing incidences of clown cultism, his lawyer, and absolutely no interactions with the quinity whatsoever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    92,485
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    277
    Kudos:
    1632
    Bookmarks:
    301
    Hits:
    62889

    9 Feb 2016

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Read when you need motiation

  12. Public Bookmark 71

    Tags
    Summary

    Your favorite place on the ship is a small wing of the upper deck dining hall called a “coffee shop.” You don’t really know much about it, actually, except for the little things you hear now and then. Coffee is a drink from a planet called Earth, as is the alien chained to the counter, who calls itself a “human.” You only know that much because you overheard it say so to an angry highblood once.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,677
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    189
    Kudos:
    295
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    2406

    9 Feb 2016

  13. Rec 88

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    Summary

    They were so close to figuring it out, to making their own world, somewhere human-sized and troll-sized and all theirs.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,112
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    320
    Bookmarks:
    88
    Hits:
    5729

    9 Feb 2016

  14. Rec 71

    Tags
    Summary

    Meme prompt.

     

    "So the kids win Sburb and they are placed on a restored Earth (both Alphas and Betas) all injuries healed and even some nifty God Tier powers left over; however there is one thing very wrong- the trolls didn't come with them.

    Everyone is confused and upset, but no matter how hard they try they just cannot locate the trolls anywhere so they become resigned to never meeting them again. As such, they just carry on with their lives and try to put Sburb behind them.

    Then, a decade later the Alternian Empire attacks Earth."

    (Not abandoned; it's just on a brief hiatus since I've been working on this monster near continuously for a year and I need a break lol)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    224,030
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    672
    Kudos:
    436
    Bookmarks:
    71
    Hits:
    10971

    9 Feb 2016

  15. Public Bookmark 3

    Tags
    Summary

    Imagine Person A getting down on one knee with the cliché black box at the end of a romantic date...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    433
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    245

    9 Feb 2016

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    "And then I saw a new Alternia, for the old Alternia had passed away." -- St. Troll John Cusack

    How the Empire knelt to a clown, a mutant and a lawyer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    130,209
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    408
    Kudos:
    2795
    Bookmarks:
    899
    Hits:
    121720

    9 Feb 2016

  17. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    There are many reasons not to become an actor. Hell, you could write several fucking essays on why being an actor is shitty. But having to talk to the guy in front of you crashes the feculent fucking horseshit scale. Seriously, he’s a 413 on the asscactus scale from one to five.

    “So did I get this right?” you say. Or maybe shout a little. “Because it’s by far not easy to pick the few things that are actually important out of the brain damaging fecal matter you just spouted at me. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,001
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    603
    Kudos:
    851
    Bookmarks:
    114
    Hits:
    8979

    9 Feb 2016

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Karkat always assumed that his life would be over as soon as the Empire caught wind of the cherry-colored sludge pumping through his vascular system. No muss, no fuss--just a good, clean culling fork to the chest. Little did he know that there was something far worse in store...

    "Please tell me my auricular sponge clots are failing me here. Tell me I did not just hear you say that you are sending me to some shithole alien planet where I will be nook deep in squishy hairless monkeys.”

    Meanwhile on Alternia: the political tides are shifting and the disappearance of a certain mutant blood sets into motion a revolution which could entangle Alternia and Earth together forever--or destroy them both.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    282,379
    Chapters:
    71/71
    Comments:
    1186
    Kudos:
    716
    Bookmarks:
    141
    Hits:
    18196

    9 Feb 2016

    Bookmarker's Tags:
  19. Public Bookmark 5

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    Summary

    Rose Lalonde has been taught for as long as she can remember in the art of killing. But she's always been treated differently than the other trainees, in subtle ways. She's the last to receive a real assassination mission, for example. But when she does, what happens next is surprising: her target isn't a political rival, or a threat to her teacher, Doc Scratch- she's just a normal girl. A normal girl named Kanaya who Rose can't help falling in love with.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,325
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    151

    9 Feb 2016

  20. Public Bookmark 10

    Tags
    Summary

    Due to a very boring twist of fate called Sollux Captor's laziness, Sgrub never happened, leaving the beta Trolls to continue their lives on Alternia unawares of what could have been. We begin our journey with Karkat Vantas, as he prepares to enter the Imperial City, lie to the drones about his blood colour, turn nine sweeps old, join the Threshecutioner academy, spend more time with his friends than he ever thought he would, fill a quadrant he didn't know he needed, and absolutely, positively, NOT have a mental breakdown of any kind. Oh and there's also the small matter of helping the Heiress overthrow the scariest fish this side of the Galaxy. Gods help him.

    Updates will be sporadic but hopefully not too infrequent and tags will be added with chapters (except for main relationships that are already listed as they become relevant)

    Spin-off fics are listed in the end notes with links.

    05/02/2016 - Thanks for 500+ hits and 30+ Kudos! <3

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36,052
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    609

    9 Feb 2016

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