1 - 20 of 1179 Works in Self-Hatred

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Three months after he's been cured of the Mark of Cain, Dean finds himself lost and alone, drowning in drink and self-destruction, haunted by memories and grief-induced hallucinations. He has no hope, no Sam, and no Cas. Of course, he thinks they're dead, and half the time, he wonders why he isn't, too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,501
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    68
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Sam is broken, he doesn't think anybody notices the changes he's making. He's wrong. Castiel intends to save him. But who will save Cas?
    A Sam/Castiel fanfic, potential for smut later on, haven't decided yet...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    374
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    25
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Cas steps out the door of Dean's room. This is what happens after. 10.03 coda fic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,671
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    31
    Hits:
    228
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Most people are happy when they learn their love is requited. But it only made me angry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    428
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    10
  5. Tags
    Summary

    No one is as strong as they seem. Not even The Lord of the Phantomhives, Watchdog of the Queen. Despite the titles he may hold, he is still a child, and encounters the fear of the place he was used as sacrifice every single day.
    Life is not easy when you're barely able to survive, yet have a Pride that makes you stand on top of the rest of the World. However, the Earl has a secret, and his Demon Butler discovers it.
    How will he ever recover from this blow?
    Will Sebastian help him out.

     

    WARNING: Contains graphic SELF-HARM CONTENT.
    Also, a relationship between Sebastian and Ciel, which falls into Shotacon.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,173
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    30
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The club is Dante's, the room is the Cage, and Dean is only there because he hates himself. He's buzzdrunk from the shots he had at the upstairs bar, and dizzy from the heat. Ugly music thumps his bones, the juddering bassline overlaid with exactly the sort of discordant techno-trash he otherwise wouldn't stomach in a fit. The Cage smells of sweat, sex and spilled beer, the tight space full of half- and near-naked bodies gyrating against each other and – shit, is that guy actually naked? He is, and the two men sandwiching him on the dancefloor look pretty pleased about it. Dean, in his jeans and tee, is practically overdressed, and as he stands there, equal parts aroused and ashamed, he has a brief moment of clarity. Get out. Go home. Stop punishing yourself.

    Almost, he does. But through the din and crush, he suddenly feels eyes on him, and when he finds their owner, he remembers why he came.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,717
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    172
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    2944
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Steve Rogers was no ordinary man, and it scares him. There is a dark secret that lurks underneath his clothes, and it could threaten the only friendship he ever had. This is his tale of self discovery and acceptance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,014
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    179
  8. Tags
    Summary

    After his betrayal by Igmund Ulfric, still not recovered from the war and his captivity, wakes to find himself imprisoned once more; this time deep beneath Markarth, a city he has come to loathe almost as much as its corrupt, sycophantic ruler.
    He does not expect anything good to come out of that cesspit of a place, but surprisingly it does, in the form of the only company he has.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,754
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    126
  9. Tags
    Summary

    "Stop that," Castiel chastises from the other end of the line, "Stop doing that to yourself, Dean. Stop blaming yourself for feeling things."

    "I wanted to kill him, Cas," he chokes out before sitting up and covering his face with his hand, "I would've done it. If you hadn't shown up, I - I would've done it. I would've enjoyed it." Dean lets out a shaky laugh, "Fuck, I would've enjoyed it."

    ------------------------------

    episode coda. dean's mixed feelings about being cured, dean's guilt, cas is there for him. etc.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,266
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    5
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Post Avengers, non- Cap 2 and non- Dark World compliant.
    When Loki breaks into the Triskelion in search of the sceptre he'd left behind, he encounters trouble in the form of Steve Rogers and ends up in a SHIELD holding cell, while the good Captain attempts to figure out what to do with him.

    Rating will change and tags and characters will be added as they become relevant. This story will be Explicit at a later date.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,440
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    316
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Richie has been self harming for years. And when Virgil finds out that his best friend is hurting, he will go to any lengths to help him. Warning: Major trigger warning for self harm. Slight AU regarding Richie's father. Previously published on ff.net as "Richie's Release."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,249
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Hits:
    8
  12. Tags
    Summary

    What if the memories Cas took from Sam are more than memories?
    What if Cas said "yes" when Dean asked him to get out of purgatory with him?

    There's only one true answer to both of those questions and that is that Dean doesn't have enough alcohol in his blood right now to deal with this.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,216
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    477
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Felix discovers something life changing and can't figure out how to tell Ralph

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,785
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    286
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “JJ had been in love with George since the moment he first saw him. However, George never appeared to see him as anything more than a friend. JJ knew he wasn’t good enough for him, anyway. George deserved someone who was just as perfect as he was, and JJ wasn’t even close. He could live with that, though, as long as he would be able to see George, be around him. To be there for him when he was upset, to cheer him up. But George didn’t even need JJ for that anymore, he had his girlfriend now. He talked to her about everything that bothered him, just like he used to do with JJ, even though she didn’t care half as much as JJ did.
    And JJ could not live with that.”

    Or the one where JJ is in love with George and it's killing him.

    Based on the song Last to Know by The Wanted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,874
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    13
  15. Tags
    Summary

    S2. Dean has barely been eating since their dad died 5 months ago, which leads to him passing out after a hunt. Sam and Bobby finally realise how much he has been struggling since John's death, and try to help him
    Sick!Dean. Worried/Protective!Sam/Bobby.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    74,260
    Chapters:
    26/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2046
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Phil Lester is a writer-slash-barista who works ridiculous hours in a small coffee shop just around the corner. Dan Howell is an aspiring pianist with a keen interest - it’s not a crush - on a certain cute barista working at a coffee shop just around the corner, who also turns out to be the hottest one-night stand that he never intends to see again except in his fantasies.

    But then again Fate is cruel and the million dollar question is whether love can transcend Dan’s past into something much bigger.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,646
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    191
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Gerard Way is just a nobody. No one cares about the chubby black haired boy. People made fun of him for liking comic books and D&D. The Vice Principal is more liked than Gerard Way. He’s fed up and sick of this place he calls his school. He decides to take matters into his own hands.

    Frank Iero isn’t popular, but he isn’t unpopular. Everyone knows him as the music guy who’s in a band and people think it’s cool that he plays guitar. He’s possibly the most laid back guy you’ll ever meet. Frank is a happy dude who enjoys the small things in life and is very blessed with everything he has.

     

    Warnings of violence, school shootings, depression and suicide attempts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,682
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    302
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The Shire was destroyed in the year of 2786 by orcs. They raided them and plundered into their lands, killing without cause or mercy. The rangers were unable to save the Shire in time. The hobbits were driven from their lands, out of their homes, to wander the winding roads as they searched for a new home....
    And in the same year a prophecy was told...
    A prophecy of something terrible...
    It will consume all...
    It is now 2941 and things have changed greatly. A once future that was set in stone, was shifted and carved differently. The once noble Bilbo Baggins was reborn as something other than what he was. He became something no one had intended him to be...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,593
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    362
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Reiji's hatred for his brother is just a cover-up for how much he really loathes himself, and Shu is all too aware of the fact. The younger vampire has a bad habit of stalking his brother around the house, particularly when he's in a state of undress. What does Shu do? Stalk him right back and catch him in the act of something far less innocent than peeping.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,504
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    20
  20. Tags
    Summary

    John and Greg struggle with the loss of their consulting detective. Both are hurting and grieving and dealing as best they can. But sometimes the best you give isn't enough.

    *****

    “John…”

    Without warning John harshly kicked his bags down the stairs where they landed with a bang against the front door startling Greg badly, the silver haired man worried that he would be next to receive the physical brunt of John’s vicious anger.

    “I said get out.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,714
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    128
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1884

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