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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Dirk Strider, and you've just been diagnosed with cancer. Whoop-dee-frickin-doo. It's not like your hotshot, movie director older brother gives two shits about you anyway. Besides, between furiously jerking off to thoughts of your ex-best friend and running a blog dedicated to your sexual attraction to puppets, you're pretty fucking sure you were already doomed.

    Your former friends are too caught up in their own drama: Jane with her pregnancy scare and glaringly obvious self-esteem issues, Roxy who just messaged a tit pic to half the student body (as if being an alcoholic isn't enough), and you aren't even going to talk about Jake, the boy who broke his leg falling out of a tree and befriended a cherub with a similar handicap.

    The only friend you have left is a depressed, agoraphobic troll with whom you chat with online, and he's too busy cultivating a hate-boner for his dubstep-loving downstairs neighbor and worrying about his drug peddling moirail's recent arrest to give you any time. It doesn't help that you've got the worst angel-demon troll tagteam nagging you to death during your final days.

    Can your life become anymore unintentionally ironic? Probably.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,927
    Chapters:
    7/26
    Comments:
    46
    Kudos:
    169
    Bookmarks:
    40
    Hits:
    4337
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Remember when Equius was Kanaya's server player and they started to bond for the first time? For HSWC Bonus Round 1. A response to a prompt by Dreamwidth user heecawroo.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    596
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    91
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat moves to a new school due to his dad's job promotion. He didn't want to leave his old school, but he never thought he'd meet his soulmate at his new school.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,060
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    614
  4. Tags
    Summary

    For the HSWC br1 prompt: Remember when Eridan had a godawful daymare about snapping and murdering everyone, and he went to find Karkat to reassure him that it wouldn't happen?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,053
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    242
  5. Tags
    Summary

    What do you do if you meet a troll? Hide.
    I mean, it's not like you're going to outrun them. They're about twenty-five feet tall.
    John is really starting to regret this whole beanstalk shtick. The grumpy guy who lives over his house is nothing like he expected! He's actually super adorable.
    ...Unfortunately, he still kind of wants to eat John.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,438
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    53
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    2641
  6. Tags
    Summary

    HSCW BR1 Prompt; Dave♥/♦Karkat. Do you remember when Dave was having nightmares and he would go to sleep in Karkat's bed, while trying to keep up the coolkid act?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    465
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    341
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Remember when Tavros used Bro's smuppets as host plushes in a game of Fiduspawn?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,332
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    221
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Inspired by a tumblr prompt of writing a pairing and a Text From Last Night, which, in this case, was "Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world."

    I couldn't decide who was the more awkward nerd between the two, so I went with both.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,481
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    593
  9. Tags
    Summary

    HSWC BR1 Prompt; Caliborn <3< Nepeta <> Equius. Remember when Caliborn got jealous of all the attention Equius was giving Nepeta?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    755
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    122
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Here are the short little ficlets that I did for Bonus Round 1: Memory. No betas or editors were harmed in the making of these ficlets
    Ratings and Tags will be listed on each chapter.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,564
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    198
  11. Tags
    Summary

    She straightens up and catches him staring. Daevit knows his poker face is as solid as any bar of steel but still he can feel his horns dipping forward, just a little, stupid skitterbug hindbrain with a mind of its own. She just smiles like he couldn’t take her with an army.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,636
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    173
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    1688
  12. Tags
    Summary

    John Egbert didn’t get to be a starship captain because of his adorable teeth and his numerous familial connections. John is a starship captain because he gets shit done. Even when it means fucking over his best friend for the good of the federation.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,294
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    688
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "Aranea♦Horuss

    Remember when Horuss realized "just pretend to be happy" wasn't working for him and Aranea helped him find a better way to cope?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    702
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    86
  14. Tags
    Summary

    "Equius♦/♥Nepeta

    Remember when they flipped quadrants?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    998
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    211
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Fill for HSWC BR1: Memories

    Jane Karkat: Remember when Karkat stopped by Jane’s bakery after the biggest bust of his career?

    “If I have to think about this week’s colossal, unreparable fuckup for another minute, not even John can stop me from marching back over there and tearing that ridiculous idiot’s intestines out through his protein chute!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    694
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    66
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Rose Lalonde is blonde, overly obsessed with knitting, reads too much erotic wizard fanfiction, and has a huge crush on her best friend Kanaya. Who is an alien. Probably should of mentioned that beforehand. She's also a vampire. Sorry.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,952
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    795
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Remember the first time Kanaya cut Karkat's hair?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,028
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    171
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    897
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Remember that time when Aradia took Eridan on a spelunking expedition?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    769
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    472
  19. Tags
    Summary

    This started out as a SuperBat hurt/comfort thing because I couldn't find any and I wanted to read some and SOMEONE refused to talk me out of writing it. Originally, I thought it was going to end up slashy but then Lois happened and threesomes became a possibility. I have now uploaded the last chapter before I lost control of where I thought it was going to go, and it's a good stopping point, so I'm calling it complete and posting the rest of it as another story.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,029
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    40
    Kudos:
    18
    Hits:
    499
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat gets caught in a literal bind when he fiddles with the meteor lab's wiring. To make matters worse, his matesprit is too busy cracking bad jokes and flirting with him to be of much help.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,663
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    683

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