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  1. Tags
    Summary

    All hobbits bore a deep secret. They had hidden their true forms for so long, any record of it had been erased from the histories of men and any other races who may have once known. So when Bilbo wakes up on Ravenhill after the battle with furry legs and horns atop his head, he realizes something is terribly wrong.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,641
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    198
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    1651
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Warning: This story contains Abuse, Sexual content, and Graphic descriptions of Violence.

     

    When Bilbo discovers he's pregnant with Thorin's pup, his world crashes down. Fili and Kili, his only hope, are trying to become pregnant themselves, and that leaves Bilbo all on his own. But Fili, unlike anyone else, tries all he can to help Bilbo, and seek for parents for his uncle's child.

    Thorin suffers the Dragon Sickness, and loses his mind. He becomes abusive, and only makes Bilbo feel worse about his condition. In the end, reminding the king of his madness only makes it worse. Bilbo struggles to keep his child to himself, while Thorin is craving his gold, Kili is lacking attention and is suffering a bad pregnancy, and Fili is trying all he can to keep everybody happy, pulling himself down with it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    103,769
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    285
    Kudos:
    445
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    17964
  3. Tags
    Summary

    All Thorin had wanted was a day in bed with his husband, free from the troubles and responsibilities of kingship. Making up a fake holiday had seemed like a great idea at the time - he got his day alone with Bilbo, who would be none the wiser. But Thorin’s schemes rarely turned out as he planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1411
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Teaching Thorin English proved rather difficult, but Bilbo felt he was up for the challenge. After all, it was the least he could do - and his attraction to Thorin certainly had nothing to do with it.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,970
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1017
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin hooked his boot into the stirrup, slinging his right leg over with practised ease. All too soon he was looking down at the hobbit, arm reaching down invitingly. Bilbo squeezed his eyes shut, sending a quick prayer to whichever Vala may be listening as he grasped the dwarf’s hand, allowing himself to be pulled up. It had been over a year since Bilbo had been forced this high off the ground, and he could not hide his startled gasp.
    “I will not let you fall, ghivashel,” Thorin promised, slinging an arm around Bilbo’s waist. “Are you ready?” he whispered, breath caressing Bilbo’s pointed ear.
    “No!” Bilbo cried.
    The dwarf merely snorted, clucking his tongue and jerking his leg slightly, and suddenly the ram was off.

    In which Thorin convinces Bilbo to ride one of Erebor's mighty war rams.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,184
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    131
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1319
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo Baggins’ already miserable life becomes even worse when he is captured by the most feared pirate of the seas, Smaug the Terrible. When Smaug’s ship comes under a surprise attack, Bilbo doesn’t know if he is lucky or not when he is forcefully transferred to the Oakenshield, the ship of Smaug’s worst enemy, Thorin Durin. Mistaken as Smaug’s lover, Bilbo is allowed to live and is believed to be useful to the pirates when they search for their long lost treasure, the magical Arkenstone. Slowly Bilbo starts to understand his captors and wants to help them find their way back to the shore and home again. But along the way, ghosts from the past start to haunt their minds and perhaps Bilbo is worth more to these two pirate captains than he or anyone else could have ever believed.

    Currently being beta read by the wonderful existentialnerdcrisis! Thanks to her this story is much more enjoyable to read!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,043
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    167
    Kudos:
    774
    Bookmarks:
    131
    Hits:
    10171
  7. Tags
    Summary

    La già miserabile vita di Bilbo Baggins diventa anche peggiore, quando viene catturato dal più temuto pirata dei mari, Smaug il Terribile. Nel momento in cui la nave di Smaug viene attaccata di sorpresa, Bilbo non sa se è fortunato o meno poiché viene trasferito con la forza sulla Scudodiquercia, la nave del peggior nemico di Smaug, Thorin Durin. Scambiato per l’amante di Smaug, a Bilbo è concesso di vivere, in quanto ritenuto utile da i pirati per la ricerca del loro tesoro a lungo perduto, la magica Arkengemma. Lentamente Bilbo inizia a comprendere i suoi rapitori e vuole aiutarli a trovare la loro strada verso la riva e di nuovo a casa. Ma lungo la via, i fantasmi dal passato iniziano ad infestare le loro menti e forse Bilbo vale di più per questi due capitani pirati di quanto lui o chiunque altro avrebbe mai potuto credere.

    Correntemente betata dalla meravigliosa existentialnerdcrisis! Grazie a lei questa storia è molto più piacevole da leggere!

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    99
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    82
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “Bad date?”

    With a sardonic snort, Thorin snatched up the glass and took a few more gulps, smiling thankfully as Bilbo refilled it right away.

    “Never agree to a blind date,” he advised.

    Bilbo grimaced. “I don’t know what I would do, if it ever came to that.”

    “I only wish I knew how to get out of this date sooner,” Thorin bemoaned.

    “Family emergency?” Bilbo offered. “I’ve seen plenty of those.”

     

    Nagged by his family members for too long, Thorin agrees to a blind date. Unsurprisingly, it goes terribly. But it seems not all hope is lost - in fact, the waiter catches Thorin's eye.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,460
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    382
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    2582
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Modern AU. Bilbo Baggins has just finished graduate school and is having the hardest time finding that first job. Add in the mounds of school and other debt that he’s swimming in, and you have one desperate man. Enter Nori, his good friend Ori’s older brother. Bilbo’s always found him a bit shady. He offers Bilbo a job as a male stripper for hire. At first Bilbo is too offended and flustered to even consider it, but Nori says he’s perfect for the job and the pay is great! Bilbo accepts. However, on his way to his first appointment, Bilbo begins to question this decision. What has he gotten himself into?!

    This got away from me a bit. It was supposed to be more humor, but it got a little angsty.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,883
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    605
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After the Battle of Five Armies Thorin and Company have a new task: rebuilding their reclaimed home. Suddenly Bilbo finds himself up to his ears in responsibility and he surprises himself with how well he can navigate negotiations with elf dignitaries, farmers in Dale, and a dwarf king who has patience for neither.

    But as Spring approaches a caravan from the Blue mountains brings something everyone had nearly forgotten: the dwarf woman Thorin promised his hand to many years ago.

    Which is fine. It's all fine. It wasn't like Bilbo was falling in love with the king or anything.

    That would be tragic.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,950
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    217
    Bookmarks:
    50
    Hits:
    2624
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A/N: Written for the following prompt by @pangur-pangur on Tumblr:

    “Thorin’s armor and robes have got so many pockets and places for stuffing things that he often mutters and grumbles and pats himself down in the morning looking for his reading glasses, official seals, Mirkwood Treatises –

    “But Bilbo always knows exactly which pocket they found their way into, and is an excellent, efficient frisker :3

    “Sad corollary: Bilbo doesn’t appreciate Thorin touching his pockets.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    526
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1141
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Translation: War of the Strangers. Sequel to Ettelëa.

    Millions of zombies are wandering Middle-Earth, darkness is on the way, Sauron potentially has a terrible new ally, and our assortment of strangers are trying like hell to keep up. There might, however, come a point where they no longer want to.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,437
    Chapters:
    29/?
    Comments:
    150
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    3087
  13. Tags
    Summary

    From Middle-Earth to the modern world to the afterlife, Bofur is Bilbo’s, and Bilbo is Bofur’s. Boffins Ficlets. Movieverse, bookverse, AU.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1238
  14. Tags
    Summary

    On the way to work, Thorin hits it off with a cute stranger. They agree to meet the next day, but when Thorin shows up, Bilbo pretends to not remember him.
    What Thorin doesn’t know is Bilbo suffered a traumatic head injury, and is unable to form any new memories. Every morning when he wakes up, Bilbo forgets everything that has happened, and is left thinking it’s still the morning of his accident.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,753
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    111
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1391
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Tauriel is starting university, and she's making the best of it.
    For the whirlwind of the next two years she learns how to stay strong from the bad moments and to treasure the good ones.

    Kili has to find his path after his brother leaves. Once he does, he knows he'll be forever grateful to do something he loves and finding love and friends.

     

    Or where a simple idea for a short exchange blew up and created it's own world.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,484
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    175
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo stays in Erebor and the battle is over - isn't it?

    Rated Mature just to be safe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    471
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    59
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    832
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Cosa non si fa per risollevare le sorti della Terra di Mezzo ed evitare una disastrosa battaglia. Questo, Bilbo Baggins lo sa bene che, per "curare " il valoroso Scudodiquercia ed aiutarlo a rinsavire dalla sua ossessione, è dovuto ricorrere a metodi poco ortodossi.
    One shot a cuor leggero e senza pretese : ho immaginato gli istanti precedenti alla Battaglia dei Cinque eserciti e ho condito il tutto con un pò di pepe.
    L'ammirazione del Mezzuomo per il Nano è palpabile

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    2,488
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    104
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Au début, Bilbo pensait qu'il s'agissait de la peur de voir le dragon se tuer. C'était le marché, après tout, mais ce qui empoisonnait le cœur du semi-homme était bien plus noir et profond que ça.

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    5,141
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    152
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "Maybe all of these things made me who I am."
    Thorin Oakenshield steps into Bag End and for how many lives he has lived, by Mahal, if he ever leaves this world alive it will be a bloody miracle.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,949
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    749
  20. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,019
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1262

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