101 - 120 of 629 Works in Pesterlog

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Dave Strider and your universe is DEAD. You have to find a safe place for your nubby-horned, alien companion in the DEPTHS OF SPACE. Under normal circumstances, you would be deader than your old universe, but you're no longer a MERE HUMAN, having ascended to god tier. The troll has not, but it helps that you hitch a ride on a FANCY SPACESHIP.

    All you need to do is find your MISSING FRIENDS and you are golden.

    >>AU after the scratch.

    USS Enterprise [UE] began texting turntechGodhead [TG] at ???
    UE: Hello. This is Captain James T. Kirk of the starship USS Enterprise. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration.
    UE: My communications officer picked up an odd signal from this location. Can we offer any assistance?
    --Now with FANART--

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,096
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    231
    Kudos:
    759
    Bookmarks:
    218
    Hits:
    7399
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Even when you live on a floating rock without an heterosexual in sight, it sometimes takes time for it to sink in that you don't have to be all douchey McStraighty for the show anymore. Luckily, you have plenty of time and also a seer to help shed some light on the matter. Accessorily, Alien romance: Top or Flop?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,006
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    410
  3. Tags
    Summary

    You used to be a computer. You are now a boy, as badass as Major Kusanagi but without the hot lady-bod or a voice.

    You used to be a bird, a conglomeration of possibility, and a 13 year old from Texas. You are now a boy whose legs are a little shaky and whose wings have been sliced off.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,959
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    518
  4. Tags
    Summary

    the alpha kids, beta kids and trolls are all part of a group chat courtesy of dave.

    aka just pesterlogs

    please don't shoot me

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,522
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    677
  5. Tags
    Summary

    TT: You know, there is a sexuality called bisexual.
    TT: It does exist.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    420
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    228
  6. Tags
    Summary

    CG: SHUT UP NOOKLICKER DON'T BLOW THIS WAY OUT OF PROPORTION LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. IT'S SIMPLY ME WANTING TO TALK TO YOU BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS EITHER A) SUCKING FACE OR B) TOO BUSY TO REMEMBER THAT WE EXIST
    CG: OH *SO* SORRY FOR WANTING TO HAVE A DECENT CONVERSATION, MY HUMBLEST APOLOGIES. I FORGOT TO WHOM I WAS SPEAKING TO.
    TG: wow
    CG: YEAH FUCKING "WOW". GOD I SOUND LIKE SUCH A NEEDIE LITTLE WIGGLER, I'LL JUST GO WALLOW IN MY OWN SHIT.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,268
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    428
  7. Tags
    Summary

    TG: ok so my moms gonna b in ur town 2morrow doin a bok singing
    TG: *shinging
    TG: *signing
    TG: and
    TG: could u go?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    872
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    118
  8. Tags
    Summary

    UM: but now im curious
    SB: about what
    UM: about who has the biggest dick

     

     In which a misunderstanding leads to Leo's crushed confidence.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,394
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    895
  9. Tags
    Summary

    You groan loudly to yourself to stop it, stop it, stop it, because she did something she definitely wasn't supposed to. You can't do that, you can't do that, that's not right.

    It's not right, damn it!

    ((Alternatively known as: Dirk goes on a quick shopping trip to Walmart with his family. Needless to say, things don't go quite as planned.))

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,859
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    499
  10. Tags
    Summary

    The first year of middle school was full of harrowing experiences. Finally being in the same school as his three best internet friends was great (as the district had many more elementary schools than middle schools), but it also meant about three or four times as many bullies, breaking John's glasses, stealing his lunch, mocking his constant optimism. It wasn't John's fault that the world was so great! He was just a representative. But middle school was good, too! His teachers were always nice to him, and he got to hang around Dave, Jade, and Rose a lot more often.

    If he thought that schoolyard bullies were a difficulty, then what was coming next was going to hit him like a nuclear bag of bricks. 

     

    Homestuck mixed in a blender with equal parts Bokurano and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.

    AKA: Homestuck, with giant robots!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,089
    Chapters:
    1/13
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    42
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A dead Dave turns the psychoanalytic tables on Rose, trying to get her to remember the circumstances surrounding his death, and to figure out who she is along the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,741
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    92
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Rose and Jade have a conversation about growing tomatoes, which ends up turning into a conversation about the completely open-ended challenges of shaping and living in the new universe they and their friends have created.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,793
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    88
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Her Draconian Justice, District Prosecutor Terezi Pyrope brings a notorious criminal to the courtblock, but Kanaya intercedes on his behalf.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    891
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    73
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Vriska attempts to have a casual conversation with Kanaya. They both fail.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    508
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    103
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Better stick games with your dog, through physics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    796
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    90
  16. Tags
    Summary

    In which Dirk has hell of computer issues/plays matchmaker, Calliope is revealed to be a big ol' pervert, and it's implied that the future of entertainment is a heavily edited version of an incredibly shitty fanfiction featuring hot unicorn on wizard action/violence.

    Also there's animes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,734
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2016
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "I'm starting to get the impression that you aren't taking this very seriously," Dirk says, and the way his eyebrows pinch together is not a good sign. Jake's been earning a lot of pinched-eyebrows, lately. He is starting to wonder if maybe he isn't a very good boyfriend. A good boyfriend would be less exhausted at the prospect of spending more time with the object of their affection. A better boyfriend would have found some way by now to leverage that time into fewer planetary expeditions and more explorations of a more personal and intimate nature.

    Set about 6 weeks into the alpha session. I thought a bit about how Roxy said the "writing was on the wall" with these two from the start and what the earlier days must have been like. And then promptly wrote like twelve thousand words where half is just shameless smut so hey ENJOY

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,912
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    210
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    1332
  18. Tags
    Summary

    There was a sudden explosion and a rush of white noise. The exit door swung off its hinges. The universe would wait no more for its heroes.

    The Game was won. And that’s all they worried about.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,642
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    660
  19. Tags
    Summary

    John accidentally introduces the concept of homosexuality to Jade via Karkat. It goes exactly as the title implies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,803
    Chapters:
    3/4
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    240
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Jane and Dirk cheer each other up after a bad day.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,016
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    299

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