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  1. Tags
    Summary

    This is a story about senior prom, and how one kid didn’t quite get it.

    TA: heh iit wouldn’t 2uprii2e me if kk waiit2 untiil the day before prom two pop the que2tiion.

    GC: TH3R3 1S NO W4Y 1N H3LL K4RK4T WOULD 4SK M3 TO PROM

    GC: 4ND 3V3N 1F H3 D1D, WHO KNOWS 1F 1 WOULD S4Y Y3S

    TA: oh plea2e tz, you’ve wanted two jump hii2 bone2 2iince halfway through miiddle 2chool.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,226
    Chapters:
    6/7
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1246
  2. Tags
    Summary

    I take BroDave requests on my writing blog

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,601
    Chapters:
    23/?
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    223
    Bookmarks:
    16
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Having too much free time on his hands, Karkat decides to host a weekly movie night. And every week, he almost instantly regrets it.

    This week we're fighting monsters in giant robots with Pacific Rim

    For a list of the previous movies, hoover mouse here

     

    Alternative title: Mystery Homestuck Theatre 3000

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    236,891
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    680
    Kudos:
    345
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    16811
  4. Tags
    Summary

    There are many reasons not to become an actor. Hell, you could write several fucking essays on why being an actor is shitty. But having to talk to the guy in front of you crashes the feculent fucking horseshit scale. Seriously, he’s a 413 on the asscactus scale from one to five.

    “So did I get this right?” you say. Or maybe shout a little. “Because it’s by far not easy to pick the few things that are actually important out of the brain damaging fecal matter you just spouted at me. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,204
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    255
    Bookmarks:
    35
    Hits:
    2030
  5. Tags
    Summary

    One day, the whole world is going to acknowledge you as that one guy who finally made contact with aliens, but if you had known that getting drunk was going to lead up to abduction, potential anal probing, and becoming the worst cult sacrifice this side of the galaxy, you probably would have just stayed at home.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,023
    Chapters:
    1/11
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    130
  6. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn’t until you hit 6 sweeps that they started to contact you for real. The first time that little red symbol showed up on your husktop screen you threw up. By then you knew what you didn’t know at 2, about the hemospectrum and the abhorrent colour of your blood and what that meant for you and you kept thinking, ‘This is it,’ you kept thinking, ‘they know, oh god they know, they know and I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to fucking die.’

    In which Karkat Vantas is the Second Sufferer. Or at least he's supposed to be.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,370
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    155
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    2553
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Sollux decides he wants to show Karkat a picture of a bee and things suddenly take a turn to them discussing their local bucket store being burned to the ground.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    630
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    28
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Kink meme made me do it.

    (See individual chapters for summaries/warnings.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,974
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    510
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Everything is new, and you understand none of it. All the research you've done is seemingly worthless, no textbook can teach you what it's like to feel, and you despise feeling so weak about it all. However, Jake stands in front of you, real, solid, in person, so that has to count for something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,947
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    311
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Dave dares Karkat to kiss John during one of their bro game sessions. Dave meant it as a joke, but...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,483
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    185
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The kids are raised and the nest is empty. Dave and Rose are both in college, Dirk still doesn't have a normal guy job, and Roxy's only getting better with age like the wine habit she's trying to kick.

    There's one less Lalonde in town though, as Dave starts his first semester under the Strider name.

    Just because they're all split up doesn't mean there's any less drama. Somehow, there's even more. Families have a way of doing that.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,517
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    340
  12. Tags
    Summary

    She loves the stars in her eyes, the roses on her cheeks, and the flow to her movement as she strums that violin like she’s holding a life in her hands, not the wood of an instrument.

     

    In which Jade Harley is a stargazing pro and might have accidentally knocked her telescope so it’s looking right into Rose Lalonde’s room and other shit happens.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,786
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    135
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Now chatting with a live representative.
    TT: hey, babygirl. you can call me bro. i'll be taking care of you this evening.
    TT: you got some tenacity, hacking straight into my network.
    TT: i'm not charging for this, i'm too invested in the story.

    Jade finds credentials to hack Bro's network in the source code for one of his ironically-run websites. It lands her right in a live sex chat. Might as well take advantage of it, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,533
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    544
  14. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    238
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    157
  15. Tags
    Summary

    The 19 year old Eridan Ampora needs to find out what happened with him and his best friend Sollux Captor.

    - A developing love story between Eridan and Sollux-

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,473
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    399
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A new sburban adventure! This is a collab fiction by me and other people! an epic quest will take place... from earth to sburb, can the new team defeat the final black king boss? or will they succumb to personal strife... and who the heck is gengis khan!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,881
    Chapters:
    7/20
    Hits:
    9
  17. Tags
    Summary

    And all at once there was calm. It was like the shocking realisation of inertia, a moment of sudden, abrupt peace and tranquility, staring into his eyes with a mixture of disbelief and. And love. You still loved this boy- this...this stupid, beautiful, selfish boy, trapped in a grown man's body. And all at once it was over, the storm dropped replaced by something all the more heated and charged, and he took the opportunity to say something unexpected. Not abruptly, not like an order. He just said it. Like it was expected and intended for you to do so.

    "Kiss me," He said.

    You did.

    - - -

    Inertia, noun.

    The tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged.

    Time apart doesn't always make something go away.

    - - -
    8tracks playlist:
    http://8tracks.com/bakeroni/inertia-a-johndave-fanfic-mix

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,477
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2446
  18. Tags
    Summary

    TT: Alright, don't freak but I kinda need to ship everyone.
    TT: I'm talking black, ashen, red and pale. The full romance party course for 32.
    TT: I am the chef, recommending some savory fucking romance cuisine.
    TT: Can't handle it because shit's too hot? Get out of the goddamn kitchen.
    TT: You in?
    AC: \(=^..^=)/ I DON'T GET IT!
    AC: \(=^..^=)/ IS THIS SUPPAWSED TO BE IRONIC?!
    TT: Sure, let's go with that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    85,325
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    132
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    3574
  19. Tags
    Summary

    CCG RIGHT NOW opened memo on board FUCK ALL OF YOU.
    (alternatively titled: karkat's romance novels are missing. believing they have been stolen, he flips his shit)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,300
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    37
  20. Tags
    Summary

    20+ Characters from Homestuck having conversations over pesterchum.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,980
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    662

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