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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Meme prompt; http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/39716.html?thread=45650212#cmt45650212

    "So the kids win Sburb and they are placed on a restored Earth (both Alphas and Betas) all injuries healed and even some nifty God Tier powers left over; however there is one thing very wrong- the trolls didn't come with them.

    Everyone is confused and upset, but no matter how hard they try they just cannot locate the trolls anywhere so they become resigned to never meeting them again. As such, they just carry on with their lives and try to put Sburb behind them.

    Then, a decade later the Alternian Empire attacks Earth."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    127,035
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    209
    Kudos:
    159
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    3713
  2. Tags
    Summary

    And all at once there was calm. It was like the shocking realisation of inertia, a moment of sudden, abrupt peace and tranquility, staring into his eyes with a mixture of disbelief and. And love. You still loved this boy- this...this stupid, beautiful, selfish boy, trapped in a grown man's body. And all at once it was over, the storm dropped replaced by something all the more heated and charged, and he took the opportunity to say something unexpected. "Kiss me," He said. You did.

    - - -

    Inertia, noun.

    The tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged.

    Time apart doesn't always make something go away.

    - - -
    8tracks playlist:
    http://8tracks.com/bakeroni/inertia-a-johndave-fanfic-mix

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,132
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    852
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Kink meme made me do it.

    (See individual chapters for summaries/warnings.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,557
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    167
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Having too much free time on his hands, Karkat decides to host a weekly movie night. And every week, he almost instantly regrets it.

    This week we're doing a minisode in the form of Batman the Dark Knight

    For a list of the previous movies, hoover mouse here

     

    Alternative title: Mystery Homestuck Theatre 3000

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    223,363
    Chapters:
    20/26
    Comments:
    608
    Kudos:
    314
    Bookmarks:
    62
    Hits:
    14113
  5. Tags
    Summary


    oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god
    stop freaking oUt, stop freaking, oUt stop freaking oUt!!!
    this is silly.
    ...
    ...
    ...
    oh fUck oh fUck oh fUck oh fUck

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,768
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    61
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "SO, DIRK........ I WANT TO PLAY A GAME."

     

    When the final battle against Lord English is lost, Caliborn offers Dirk a chance to prolong everyone's existence. A task so daunting he has to team up with the Leijons to do it.

    He has to ship everyone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    63,960
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    83
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2461
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Dave creates a plan to erase this crush he has on his best friend. Little did he know that is would work just as well as a chocolate frog in an oven.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,111
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    35
    Hits:
    330
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Alone. John Egbert is alone. Everyone at school hates him and his own father ignores him. He can't bear to tell his friends the truth, so he has to deal with everything on his own. Eventual JohnDave.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,448
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    169
  9. Tags
    Summary

    In all fifteen years Dave has spent on this planet, it seemed nothing important ever changed, and he sat and watched and did what he always did.

    Then he makes an unexpected discovery and staying in his designated place is the least thing he wants.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,510
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    359
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Wherein the beta kids have an agreement to form a sedoretu once they're old enough, as told in a series of standalone pesterlogs. Part 1 - Dave, Rose, Jade, and John meet in a chat room on Jade's thirteenth birthday to talk about nothing in particular. Part 2 - The kids attempt to explain moiety to the trolls mid-game, which goes about as smoothly as you'd expect. Part 3 - Interludes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,831
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    39
    Kudos:
    232
    Bookmarks:
    47
    Hits:
    3258
  11. Tags
    Summary

    CG: JOHN, YOU NOOKSUCKING PUSTULE ON THE HAIRY ASSHOLE OF SOCIETY.
    CG: WE HAVEN’T SEEN EACH OTHER IN THREE YEARS AND THIS IS THE GREETING I GET.
    CG: WELL FUCK YOU, YOU GRUB.
    CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE I THOUGHT
    CG: YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVERMIND.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,367
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    345
  12. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn’t until you hit 6 sweeps that they started to contact you for real. The first time that little red symbol showed up on your husktop screen you threw up. By then you knew what you didn’t know at 2, about the hemospectrum and the abhorrent colour of your blood and what that meant for you and you kept thinking, ‘This is it,’ you kept thinking, ‘they know, oh god they know, they know and I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to fucking die.’

    In which Karkat Vantas is the Second Sufferer... Or, he's supposed to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,068
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1429
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat is mad with Dave. Rosemary collectively has the answer to everything. Dave fixes things and also kisses the Karkat!
    Kind of.

    (Flush davekat written for the Homestuck Secret Santa 2014.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,730
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    336
  14. Tags
    Summary

    There are many reasons not to become an actor. Hell, you could write several fucking essays on why being an actor is shitty. But having to talk to the guy in front of you crashes the feculent fucking horseshit scale. Seriously, he’s a 413 on the asscactus scale from one to five.

    “So did I get this right?” you say. Or maybe shout a little. “Because it’s by far not easy to pick the few things that are actually important out of the brain damaging fecal matter you just spouted at me. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,743
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    677
  15. Tags
    Summary

    In Which A Vampire, Accompanied By Her Mutant Moirail And On The Run From A Sinister Confectionery Mogul, Blogs Unkind Things About YA Vampire Novels; The Author Of One Such Work Responds In A Hostile Fashion While Intoxicated; Structures, Conveyances, And Fragile Emotional Equilibria Are Thoroughly Wrecked; Works Of Popular Fiction Are Criticized In Ways Inadvertently Revealing Of The Critics' Anxieties; And Pirates Present A Problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,389
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    396
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    14960
  16. Tags
    Summary

    \ˈtem-pər\ transitive verb
    1. to dilute or qualify by the addition or influence of something else; moderate
    2. to make stronger and more resilient through hardship; toughen

    \ˈtem-pər\ noun
    1. heat of mind or emotion, proneness to anger; passion
    2. calmness of mind; composure

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,130
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    890
  17. Tags
    Summary

    terezi tries to get karkat to play matchmaker for gamzee and tavros.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,487
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    502
  18. Tags
    Summary

    That certainly was an interesting book club meeting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,284
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    210
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "You mentally write up a pop quiz for Rose McMystery herself.
    Question 1: Why are you sending me to BCCorp Maryland?
    Question 2: Don't you live in Treesville?
    Question 3: What the actual fuck is going on, really?
    Question 4: Do you really expect me to hack the security of the biggest corporation in the world? "

    The impending end of civilization on Earth, Rose, Dave, and a connection that transcends a reboot of the universe.

    Totally normal shit and not at all weird and convoluted as fuck. Yeah.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,292
    Chapters:
    1/7
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    102
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider is gone, but he does not know. Back in the aftermath, one troll knows this only too well. All that is left is to talk, through the worst messaging medium ever to exist. Oneshot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    648
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    98

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