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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Five minutes is all Dave needs to ruin everybody's lives, apparently, especially his own. An accident in the labs begins the long and painful process of transforming into a troll, and though trolls may look remarkably similar to humans for creatures that evolved on different planets in different universes, they aren't the same at all. The transformation is debilitating, and he is forced to trust Karkat to take care of him and even keep him alive as his very insides shift within him.

    Rose, meanwhile, begins work on some sort of solution -- after all, Seer of Light may as well mean Knower of Knowledge, right? She should know this. But her experience with breaking the rules is of little help when there are none to begin with, and she can hardly play with fire when it's not herself at risk of burns but her newly-discovered brother.

    As time wears on with no solution, the meteor crew can't help but wonder: are they doomed? Or is there redemption for their timeline yet?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,647
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    775
  2. Tags
    Summary

    When the meteor was set on it's long journey, Sollux stayed behind. Karkat is now an emotional mess because of this and never wants to wake up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,249
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    80
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Title translation for Alternian readers:
    IN WHICH THE ALIEN PROTAGONIST ATTEMPTS TO BOND MORE CLOSELY WITH HIS MALE TROLL FRIEND, ABOUT WHOM HE HAS CONFUSED ROMANTIC FEELINGS, VIA THE MEDIUM OF EROTIC LITERATURE WRITING.
    RATED 8+ SWEEPS FOR MENTIONS OF EQUIPMENT OF A SEXUAL NATURE, GENITALIA, CONCUPISCENT ACTIVITES, AND FREQUENT FREUDIAN SLIPS.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    78
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    427
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Ok so everyone knows Dave and Dirk had a long amazing talk that presumably ended with Dave asking him for advice on the Being Not Straight stuff. My problem is, Dave also spent three years with his gloriously gay twin sister on a fucking space rock while he was right in the middle of coming to terms with all this stuff. So I wrote this mostly to reconcile the gap I think exists there, with a bunch of other Dave centric stuff thrown in with it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,698
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    83
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    704
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Trollian in the new universe, with the beta kids, alpha kids, and trolls.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,051
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    54
  6. Tags
    Summary

    New Years (pt. 1) -- You don't think you'll ever understand why David feels such the intense need to cook and bake something so very extravagant for dinner every year on December 31st.

    Valentine's Day -- GT: So what do you say right ol pal? Mind flying me to the moon?

    St. Patrick's Day -- This much green might be a little much. You will definitely have to talk to David about this. He has a holiday problem, you think.

    Easter -- Yet to be finished.

    Father's Day -- Yet to be finished.

    Independence Day/Fourth of July -- Yet to be finished.

    Halloween -- Yet to be finished.

    Thanksgiving -- Yet to be finished.

    Christmas -- Yet to be finished.

    Birthday -- Yet to be finished.

    New Years (pt. 2) -- Yet to be finished.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,987
    Chapters:
    3/11
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    210
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Sollux can't sleep.
    Eridan can't sleep because Sollux is waking him up with the dumbest stuff and maybe also relevant questions as to where the fuck he is and what the fuck he is doing.
    (Sollux can't admit to missing Eridan.)

     With friends and shipmates weighing in, and a secret hidden between the message logs, how will this turn out?

    (No Game AU where Eridan joined the Alternian fleet. Slow build.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,606
    Chapters:
    36/?
    Comments:
    302
    Kudos:
    275
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    2683
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Making the best of things, after Conscription.

    Series
    • Part 1 of 0k
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    88,739
    Chapters:
    184/200
    Comments:
    445
    Kudos:
    485
    Bookmarks:
    73
    Hits:
    8777
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A pro, or con, of having a bifurcated mind is that you can never agree on anything. You try cajoling, begging, reasoning. But really the only way to get anything done is to guilt trip your self into doing it. Because you make yourself more miserable not doing the thing then the misery of doing it. But then you spend so long self-flagellating that you get all miserable before you even start.
    AKA Sollux didn't get any work done today.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,151
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    28
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Does Dirk Strider is a furry? The truth come out.
    (Dirk explains an ancient art form.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,062
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    102
  11. Tags
    Summary

    "GA: W41T, W41T, W4IT.
    GA: YOU'R3 LOS1NG M3 4 L1TTL3 H3R3, K4NR4.
    GA: DO YOU H4T3 H1M L1K3 "1 W4NT YOU L1T3R4LLY D34D" H4T3? OR DO YOU L1K3 - "H4T3 H4T3" H1M?"
    Izaya finds an interesting online acquaintance in the dollar's chat room.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,050
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    500
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Roxy and Dirk are two teens that have been trying to make the best of a tough situation. When a kind social worker discovers some relatives willing to take them in, Roxy and Dirk agree to try and make it work.

    The Strider-Lalondes are odd but they mean well. They want to protect their two newfound siblings from any more harm (which is infinitely harder than it sounds) and try and raise them right (which is much easier).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    159,029
    Chapters:
    65/?
    Comments:
    713
    Kudos:
    482
    Bookmarks:
    53
    Hits:
    7539
  13. Tags
    Summary

    TG: WHAT

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,931
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    196
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Never leave your computer unattended at the bottom of the ocean.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    603
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    54
  15. Tags
    Summary

    TG: thats a fucking depressing joke btw
    TG: i mean even discounting the whole
    TG: dude named dave killing an evil supercomputer
    TG: thing

    in which hal and davesprite meet, become friends, and become family

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,398
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    398
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Captor Tech Support - Rated 4.8 stars.

    Customer Reviews:
    "A Really Helpful And Very Friendly Service 5 Stars"
    "9ne 9f them sent me a virus... 6ut I learnt h9w t9 zip a file s9 I rate them 4 stars."

    Alternate Title: The Captors open a Tech Support Business.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,694
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    91
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    900
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Try as he might, Dave could never remember anything from the first four years of his life. 

    There were three signs of imminent upheaval to come—other than the fact that the kingdoms of Prospit and Derse were at war, with the horrorterrors of the Furthest Ring converging on them both. First, the King of Derse disappeared without a trace. Second, the Queen of Prospit fell dead for unknown reasons. Not like any of this was Dave's concern. He was a nobody, unlike Rose, a bona fide Seer of Light. He wasn't sure exactly why she wanted them to go to Derse City, but he went along with it.

    The third sign was the return of long-lost royalty.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    183,883
    Chapters:
    38/?
    Comments:
    251
    Kudos:
    337
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    4680
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider's father, a prominent detective, is tasked with infiltrating the Midnight Crew. Dave, worried about his father's safety, decides to do a little undercover work of his own and tries to befriend the boss's son, Karkat Vantas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    228,900
    Chapters:
    37/37
    Comments:
    389
    Kudos:
    389
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    5813
  19. Tags
    Summary

    lawlightning42 asked "idea for the davekat thing: what if someone broke the coffee machine?"

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    408
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    272
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Right as you’re finally wading into the delicious, warm water you hear a choking noise behind you. Curiously, you look behind you to the sight of Nepeta’s face flushed a shockingly strong olive color and Jade undressing herself to reveal… nothing underneath. Oh. Oh wow. What are those nubs? Why is there hair down there? And more importantly, why is Jade *so glubbing toned*?
    -
    TROLL GOOGLE HISTORY LOG

    TROLL GOOGL---E )(OW DO I KNOW IF MY FRIEND IS PAL--E FLIRTING WITH M-E

    TROLL GOOGL-E )(OW ABOUT ASH-EN FLIRTING

    TROLL GOOGL-E W)(Y AR-E ALI-ENS SO )(OT

    W)(AT AR-E )(UMAN NUDITY CUSTOMS

    W)(AT AR-E T)(OSE CHEST NUBS FOR TROLL GOOGL-E

    W)(Y IS T)(-ER-E *)(AIR* DOWN T)(-ER-E??

    )(OW QUICKLY CAN P-EOPLE VACILLAT-E TROLL GOOGL-E

    TROLL GOOGL---E ANSW---ER M---E!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,021
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    193

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