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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Dave creates a plan to erase this crush he has on his best friend. Little did he know that is would work just as well as a chocolate frog in an oven.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,849
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    56
  2. Tags
    Summary

    And all at once there was calm. It was like the shocking realisation of inertia, a moment of sudden, abrupt peace and tranquility, staring into his eyes with a mixture of disbelief and. And love. You still loved this boy- this...this stupid, beautiful, selfish boy, trapped in a grown man's body. And all at once it was over, the storm dropped replaced by something all the more heated and charged, and he took the opportunity to say something unexpected. "Kiss me," He said. You did.

    - - -

    Inertia, noun.

    The tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged.

    Time apart doesn't always make something go away.

    - - -
    8tracks playlist:
    http://8tracks.com/bakeroni/inertia-a-johndave-fanfic-mix

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,142
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    418
  3. Tags
    Summary

    In Which A Vampire, Accompanied By Her Mutant Moirail And On The Run From A Sinister Confectionery Mogul, Blogs Unkind Things About YA Vampire Novels; The Author Of One Such Work Responds In A Hostile Fashion While Intoxicated; Structures, Conveyances, And Fragile Emotional Equilibria Are Thoroughly Wrecked; Works Of Popular Fiction Are Criticized In Ways Inadvertently Revealing Of The Critics' Anxieties; And Pirates Present A Problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,389
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    164
    Kudos:
    382
    Bookmarks:
    94
    Hits:
    14360
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In all fifteen years Dave has spent on this planet, it seemed nothing important ever changed, and he sat and watched and did what he always did.

    Then he makes an unexpected discovery and staying in his designated place is the least thing he wants.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,753
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    227
  5. Tags
    Summary

    \ˈtem-pər\ transitive verb
    1. to dilute or qualify by the addition or influence of something else; moderate
    2. to make stronger and more resilient through hardship; toughen

    \ˈtem-pər\ noun
    1. heat of mind or emotion, proneness to anger; passion
    2. calmness of mind; composure

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,130
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    611
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Meme prompt; http://homesmut.dreamwidth.org/39716.html?thread=45650212#cmt45650212

    "So the kids win Sburb and they are placed on a restored Earth (both Alphas and Betas) all injuries healed and even some nifty God Tier powers left over; however there is one thing very wrong- the trolls didn't come with them.

    Everyone is confused and upset, but no matter how hard they try they just cannot locate the trolls anywhere so they become resigned to never meeting them again. As such, they just carry on with their lives and try to put Sburb behind them.

    Then, a decade later the Alternian Empire attacks Earth."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100,855
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    130
    Kudos:
    114
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2642
  7. Tags
    Summary

    terezi tries to get karkat to play matchmaker for gamzee and tavros.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,487
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    455
  8. Tags
    Summary

    That certainly was an interesting book club meeting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,284
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    145
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It wasn’t until you hit 6 sweeps that they started to contact you for real. The first time that little red symbol showed up on your husktop screen you threw up. By then you knew what you didn’t know at 2, about the hemospectrum and the abhorrent colour of your blood and what that meant for you and you kept thinking, ‘This is it,’ you kept thinking, ‘they know, oh god they know, they know and I’m going to die. I’m going to die. I’m going to fucking die.’

    In which Karkat Vantas is the Second Sufferer... Or, he's supposed to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,502
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1097
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "You mentally write up a pop quiz for Rose McMystery herself.
    Question 1: Why are you sending me to BCCorp Maryland?
    Question 2: Don't you live in Treesville?
    Question 3: What the actual fuck is going on, really?
    Question 4: Do you really expect me to hack the security of the biggest corporation in the world? "

    The impending end of civilization on Earth, Rose, Dave, and a connection that transcends a reboot of the universe.

    Totally normal shit and not at all weird and convoluted as fuck. Yeah.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,292
    Chapters:
    1/6
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    59
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Having too much free time on his hands, Karkat decides to host a weekly movie night. And every week, he almost instantly regrets it.

    This week we're entering the animes with Princess Mononoke

    For a list of the previous movies, hoover mouse here

     

    Alternative title: Mystery Homestuck Theatre 3000

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    221,490
    Chapters:
    19/25
    Comments:
    582
    Kudos:
    295
    Bookmarks:
    58
    Hits:
    12883
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider is gone, but he does not know. Back in the aftermath, one troll knows this only too well. All that is left is to talk, through the worst messaging medium ever to exist. Oneshot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    648
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    83
  13. Tags
    Summary

    In a world where trolls and humans live alongside each other, Dave Strider and John Egbert have two different approaches to inter-species relationships.

    OR

    The one where Karkat dates John, Gamzee hates Dave and the two human boys learn that troll genetic material is more calorific than its human counterpart.

    UPDATE: I added two new chapters, this fic actually contains kink material now.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,064
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1710
  14. Tags
    Summary

    The streets are loud and gross and moldy and gray like always, except for the people, who are much too numerous for comfort and all of their different scents make you a little bit dizzy, but you're used to that by now, at least as used to it as you can be; you are not the kind of girl who is defeated by her environment (or anyone for that matter) and you know exactly where you're going anyway. Eventually you find your weird little coffee shop and the nice barista who never inspires you to dream of causing her to experience incredible death, order some tea with lots of red syrupy stuff in it, and sniff your way to an empty table where you can just be away from everything in peace and possibly release some tension by causing minor harm to somebody if the need arises.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,376
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    71
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Three times Jade was taken care of, and one time she took care of somebody else.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,868
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    176
  16. Tags
    Summary

    There are many reasons not to become an actor. Hell, you could write several fucking essays on why being an actor is shitty. But having to talk to the guy in front of you crashes the feculent fucking horseshit scale. Seriously, he’s a 413 on the asscactus scale from one to five.

    “So did I get this right?” you say. Or maybe shout a little. “Because it’s by far not easy to pick the few things that are actually important out of the brain damaging fecal matter you just spouted at me. You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,133
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    499
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "SO, DIRK........ I WANT TO PLAY A GAME."

     

    When the final battle against Lord English is lost, Caliborn offers Dirk a chance to prolong everyone's existence. A task so daunting he has to team up with the Leijons to do it.

    He has to ship everyone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,839
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    74
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1840
  18. Tags
    Summary

    In which Sollux Captor makes a forum post challenge in a fit of boredom, and finds himself surprisingly challenged.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,062
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    141
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Il l’embrasserait donc. Il espérait agir assez vite pour le surprendre. Il n’aimait pas quand ils criaient. Quand ils avaient peur, essayaient de s’enfuir ou de lutter. Il trouvait toujours ça un peu vexant. Il n’allait tout de même pas les manger ! (Presque pas.) Non, lui, il le prendrait par surprise, lui ferait perdre toute envie de résister. Il prendrait bien son temps après ça. Il ferait durer le plaisir le plus possible, jusqu’à ne plus pouvoir se retenir. Alors seulement, il plongerait ses crocs dans sa chair, il boirait son sang et ce serait PAR-FAIT.

    Series
    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    62,960
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    487
  20. Tags
    Summary

    CG:OH ***HELL*** NO YOU DON'T

    CG: THIS IS SOME SERIOUS SHIT AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE.

    CG: SOMEONE MADE A SPECTACULARLY HARE-BRAINED MISTAKE AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO IT WAS AND WHAT THEY DID.

    GC: WHY 4R3 YOU B31NG SO NOS3Y? 1TS NON3 OF YOUR BUS1N3SS!

    CG: DON'T YOU PULL THAT SHIT ON ME.
     
    CG: I HAVE GONE THROUGH TOO MUCH TO LET YOU SIT HERE AND SPOIL IN YOUR OWN SOURED MOOD.

    CG: AS OF RIGHT NOW I AM PLAYING TEMPORARY MOIRAIL SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND TELL YOUR FAKE DIAMOND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN YOUR ADDLED PAN.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,804
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    369

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