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  1. Tags
    Summary

    "Helmets?"

    Dave Strider was many things; Talented? Yes. Ironic beyond all compare? No shit. Sexier than Brad Pitt in Fight Club? Obviously. Maker of some of the finest damn music this side of Venus? Hell to the fucking yes.

    A wannabe robot with a gold helmet?

    Not a chance in hell.

     

    (Written by: Hammer, Co-Written by: Time)

    Words:
    41,364
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    181
    Kudos:
    225
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    3398
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh my god, feed me /now/, you uncomfortably rectangular shitbowl, or so help me, I'll take that empty food bowl and shove it so far up your ass that you'll be able to taste the metal!"

    You glance down from the porch swing at the cat, raising an eyebrow. Did it just. Did it just talk?

    "Mrrrrrrow."

    Huh. Whatever, it's probably just the heat getting to your head.

    Words:
    1,275
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    120
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "Oh my god, feed me /now/, you uncomfortably rectangular shitbowl, or so help me, I'll take that empty food bowl and shove it so far up your ass that you'll be able to taste the metal!"

    You glance down from the porch swing at the cat, raising an eyebrow. Did it just. Did it just talk?

    "Mrrrrrrow."

    Huh. Whatever, it's probably just the heat getting to your head.

    Words:
    1,275
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    2
  4. Tags
    Summary

    There has always been something off in Dave Strider's life since The Accident that took the life of his best friend, left him in a coma, and erased every memory and the exsistence of said best friend from his mind.
    As phantom memories emerge from forgotten depths of his mind, things quickly get out of hand.

    Mermaids, messages in bottles, and a long lost love.

    Words:
    4,672
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    134
  5. Tags
    Summary

    In the year 1987, a girl named Rose LaLonde finds herself in a hospital. After she was in a comatose state for three years, her Mother disappeared, her friends grew up and for some reason everything about that is connected to the aliens who found themselves on Earth with almost no memory of how they got there. Now Rose has to find out about what happened to her Mother, help the aliens find their way back home and in the meantime deal with feelings she has grown for her new friends.

    Words:
    22,737
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    325
  6. Tags
    Summary

    You want to let him go. You want him to be happy. But- you also want to be happy. What will you do?

    Words:
    37,436
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1979
  7. Tags
    Summary

    The soft click of the clock was really the only thing Vriska could pay attention to. The voice of the teacher was blocked out by her own thoughts as she waited for the final minutes of class, the final minutes of the school day.
    She just wanted to go home.
    Who knew being a exchange student from Mexico would be so, infuriating?
    Well, at least she had her sister to look forward to talking with…….
    Right?

    Words:
    3,319
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    167
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Who are these shining like one sundered star?
    [Like kindled lights in untempestuous heaven,
    Fair flower-like stars on the iron foam of fight]

    ---

    Teenage superheroes deal with hormones, mental illness, and extremely secretive guardians in a world of Horrorterrors, giant mutant lusii, mob violence, nightmares of a past life, warring anti-heroes, and asshole carapacians. AU divergence from Chapter 8 of Real Men Wear Tights.

    Series
    Words:
    687,701
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Comments:
    292
    Kudos:
    359
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    17732
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Они дрались, как кошка с собакой, но никогда - в школе. В школе они даже не смотрели друг на друга, но в автобусе, дома, в парке, когда их семьи встречались за обедом - они вцеплялись в глотки друг другу. Они держали друг друга в напряжении.
    Рокси ненавидела его. Он был мудаком, у которого не было ничего, кроме единственной вещи, которой она желала больше всего. Дирк ненавидел её. Она была засранкой, у которой было всё, о чём можно было мечтать, и она получала всё на серебряном блюдечке даже пальцем не пошевелив.
    Они не могли держаться друг от друга подальше.

    Words:
    20,909
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    17
  10. Tags
    Summary

    John wakes up, freaks out, gets a pester message from a certain Haxor Girl and then everyone loses their shit in following chapters.

    Series
    Words:
    6,496
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    684
  11. Tags
    Summary

    An alternate universe where trolls actually made it to our universe. Humans grew up on troll romance, trolls learned all things human. Male humans can reproduce with each other, through help, as can human females. Trolls mate as a human would, having abandoned filial pails. Feferi is the Condesce. Aradia is godtier, not a robot. Everyone who played Sgrub/Sburb is godtier. Sburb never destroyed Earth when the kids played. Alpha kids live in the same timeline as beta kids.

    Basically anything not canon I'm playing around with because I wanted to experiment a little. For the purpose of the AU, neither Dave nor Dirk are Bro, and neither Rose nor Roxy are Mom. Jake and Jade are both raised by Bec. Chapter names are associated with an aspect or class I feel fits the chapter (or a significant aspect of the chapter) best.

    Words:
    13,060
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    428
  12. Tags
    Summary

    After her grandfather was murdered by merciless and immortal creatures of the night, Jade Harley made a solemn vow to avenge his death. How, you may ask? Simple. Go give Van Helsing a run for his money, wield a pistol full of silver bullets, carry a wooden stake, and keep garlic in her pocket. For ten years, she had been hunting and killing vampires in her family's name; but when she spares the life of a blonde haired and sunglasses wearing vampire, Jade will have to start listening to her conscience and decide if vengeance is what she is seriously looking for.

    Words:
    5,246
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    174
  13. Tags
    Summary

    The trolls and humans finally beat their games. However, the two find that, while they had cooperated through most of it, they had actually been pitted against each other from the start. In a strange twist of events, the humans are declared the winners. They are returned to the earth they once knew. However, when the twelve trolls appear on their door step shortly after, their normal lives are turned into a crazy run from the government, terrorists, conspirators, and theorists. Can four kids and twelve aliens hide forever?

    Post-Sburb, this is an a possible ending, and a variation on my other work, "All: Claim Prize".

    Words:
    35,992
    Chapters:
    32/?
    Comments:
    90
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    8465
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Lalonde is an internationally famous movie director. Dirk Strider is his creepy stalker.

    Dave makes a lot of bad decisions, but he is probably his worst.

    Words:
    180,792
    Chapters:
    28/29
    Comments:
    226
    Kudos:
    645
    Bookmarks:
    180
    Hits:
    22393
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Rose has a drinking problem, a BIG drinking problem. After Karkat and Dave complain, Kanaya leads the charge to sober up the young girl. Will it go well? Or will they fall under the pressure if Lavender Vodka no. 3?

    Words:
    3,373
    Chapters:
    1/12
    Collections:
    1
    Hits:
    47
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A group of families with connections to SkaiaNet and the Beta Guardians enters the game. Same-universe spinoff written to be accessible to non-Homestuck readers.

    Elaine Timbal of New York, a senior developer at SkaiaNet, uses her inside knowledge of Sburb to protect her family - but in doing so reveals the sacrifices it took to build the game.

    Martin Nunsworth of Oxford, UK, Bro Strider's old fencing master, seizes it as an opportunity to save his students. Meanwhile, his wife Maria reveals chilling information about what's to come.

    Alok Misra of Bangalore, India, a distribution contractor for SkaiaNet, finds Jade Harley's copy of the Sburb beta impossible to deliver. The extra copy represents a chance to escape for he and his family.

    In Washington State, Dad Egbert's sisters prepare to enter the game, but a crippling injury and severe damage to Sburb's own infrastructure leave them scrambling.

    As these four families prepare to enter, one thing becomes clearer and clearer: they are not welcome. Exactly four people were meant to play Sburb, and the game doesn't take kindly to stowaways...

    Words:
    33,895
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    630
  17. Tags
    Summary

    She was just a child and he called her 'beautiful'.

    Words:
    1,795
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    458
  18. Tags
    Summary

    They don't call it the business of the Damned for no reason.
    His name was Dre Strider, and he had only the best intentions when he joined the lucrative business of the Slave Trade.

    -France, late 1700s, Dre only wanted to keep his two sisters out of the streets.
    -There's always equal punishment for the crime.
    (Dre Strider is Alpha! Bro, and this is a very hefty ass au- giving the background for Dre)

    Series
    Words:
    2,575
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    78
  19. Tags
    Summary

    They fought like cats and dogs, but never at school. At school they didn’t even look at each other—but on the bus, at home, at the park, when their families got together for dinner, they were at each other’s throats; they kept each other on their toes.
    Roxy hated him. He was an asshole who had nothing, except the one thing she wanted more than anything. Dirk hated her. She was a brat who got everything anyone could ever want served to her on a silver plate without even lifting a finger.
    Yet they couldn’t stay away from each other.

    Words:
    22,840
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    273
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Meet John Egbert, your average 13-year old. He goes to school, just like any other kid. But he has an ability, a writing abilty he keeps denying, even though he himself knows it, in the back of his mind. Even his best friends know it. But how can unlock it?

     

    "Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead."

    Gene Fowler

    ON HAITUS

    Words:
    2,289
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    229

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