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Recently it has come to my attention that certain staff-members have been deliberately ignoring or mis-interpreting certain rules. To re-iterate:
01. Whilst I appreciate that 'The Old Man,' 'the old goat,' 'the madman in the attic,' 'Daddy Dearest,' 'Auntie,' and other such epithets are terms of affection when used by my staff, they are not appropriate for use in any official documents, or in any situation where THRUSH might be observing you.
02. It is also inappropriate to comment on anyone's genitalia in any context. (E.g. 'balls of steel.') Please remember that many of the staff in the secretarial pool are not native English speakers, and such comments can be confusing and embarrassing.
03. The Ladies' changing rooms are not a legitimate target for staff who are 'practising placing observation technology in THRUSH satraps.' I don't care how much 'initiative' it shows.