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Barry finds himself stranded in another country one day after- stupid frickin’ Archer (calm down, Other Barry)- a mission with the ISIS crew.
Thanks to Archer.
He meets Zane, or rather nearly kills Zane, while he’s fighting off a ninja robot? Whatever, what matters is Zane saves his ass and he’s still stuck in Ninjago City.
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A Commissioned Work
The Isis team did a good job, now they're laying low as the personal bodyguards for some VIP. Though things didn't go as expected on that last mission for one of them. Something strange has happened to Lana and the rich, brilliant, and oddly young VIP seems to know more than he's letting on... Will the rest of them find out? or are they too busy getting drunk on the beach to look into why Lana Kane is spending so much time alone with some weird kid?
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Set during season 7, pretty canon, except obviously its like a new subplot/episode. The gangs all here. Lana stormed out on Archer, but where is she now?
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I am a Man of Unbearable Fortune by toastflower
Fandoms: Uncharted (Video Games), Uncharted 4: A Thief's End - Fandom, Archer (Cartoon)
10 Jan 2024
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Against a steamy island backdrop, interests, incentives and various other naughty things collide...
The Drake brothers are racing the clock to beat their ruthless rival Rafe Adler to the fabled Gunsway treasure. Meanwhile, top ISIS agents Lana Kane and Sterling Archer have been assigned to track down and neutralize a coldblooded warmonger last sighted with Nadine Ross's private army.
They're smart people. They spot an opportunity. If they team up, work together, pool their skills and resources, then maybe everyone can get what they want. Right?
...Right...?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,773
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Hits:
- 34
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Seven times Archer kinda almost got married.
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Sterling Archer, worlds greatest spy, lover, fighter, hater. He makes enemies more than he does friends. From working for his mother, to working for the CIA, he is never lacking in ability to ruin the lives of those around him. To some, it at least makes things interesting. To the CIA he is a liability. To Slater, he makes life a living hell.
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Hi! I've been working on this fic on and off for several years. I will try to have a chapter updated every 1-3 months depending on what school and work allows. With the ending of the series, think of this as a fun refresh. Starting directly after season 5, in place of season 6 onwards. -
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Lana takes her job very seriously.
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Cheryl Tunt: The New Assistant for "Stress Relief" by Reapes316
Fandoms: Archer (Cartoon)
14 Oct 2023
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With Lana being the new person in charge of the agency, along with the stress of having a child along with it, her job can be pretty stressful. So, she, if she can't shoot any "shithead" as she calls the people that she slaughtered with Sterling Mallory Archer, she went to the next best thing: Banging some person! But, after all the years of working for said agency, along with the people that were in it, she grew weary of banging any of the guys, for multiple reasons. One of which is that she ALWAYS wants to be the dominiant one. So, she just gave up on the idea, until she had to confront a certain bratty and weird secretary that she knew all too well, Cheryl Tunt...
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Where Ever You Go I Won't Be Far to Follow by Obligatory_Trope_Insert
Fandoms: Archer (Cartoon)
21 Sep 2023
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When Archer looks up it's Barry Dylan looking back at him and not Lucas Troy. Fear grips his heart and Archer thrashes, trying to escape his binds. A finger is pressed against Archer's lips and Barry smirks. He leans in, placing cold metal lips against Archer's ear and whispers,
"Hey there buddy. Don't you worry, I've got you now." For a moment nothing happens and then Lucas stumbles into the room with an arm full of beers. He's in good spirits at least he was until he saw Barry. The following moments are kind of hard for Archer to follow. -
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What happens when the ISIS contacts you to work with the greatest spy in the world? Hilarity and balls-deep action. (Phrasing ;) )
Old story imported from WattPad. Enjoy!
GUIDE:
M/N= Male Name
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Lana and Cyril have a romantic date planned, but things go wrong and Archer swoops in to save her. Danger Zone.
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Lana's morning begins with a room full of roses and Archer's bullshit ideas of social norms.
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Krieger has been constrained by a very specific set of rules since he was recruited by Mallory Archer. When AJ gets kidnapped, Lana overrides them. Chaos ensues.
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Archer plans something special for Lana.
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Meet Me Halfway (or, Ride into the Danger Zone) by GENERAL_KENOBI22
Fandoms: Archer (Cartoon)
10 Apr 2023
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Archer admits (grudgingly) that she has a good point. "I don't know exactly, Pam, but as far as I can tell, it's like Groundhog Day and Billy Pilgrim had a weird, time travel-y baby."
"Billy who?"
"Billy Pilgrim?" he repeats, exasperated. "As in the time traveling protagonist from Kurt Vonnegut's classic Slaughterhouse Five?" At the blank look on Pam's face, Archer hangs his head in absolute frustration. "God, Pam, read a book!"
(or, Archer has come unstuck in time, and no matter what he does, he and Lana are still separated, or on a break, or whatever, which... eat a dick, Time Stream)
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Lana comes into the office late one night and finds Pam and Cheryl in the middle of a friends-with-benefits tryst. She wants in, but she won't be the last one.
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This Movie Features Certain Spy Trash by sparkle_bitch
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Archer (Cartoon)
02 Apr 2023
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Harry Potter is 11 years old, severely abused by the Dursleys and in desperate need of a friend. On Dudley's birthday, he is more than happy to sit on the sidelines, for once free to explore the zoo while the Dursleys embarrass themselves in public.
Until Valerie Archer — an arrogant, facetious girl that claims she's a spy (who doesn't know how to hide her weapons properly, or just doesn't care) — crashes into him, saving Harry from a lifetime of misery. As Harry helps Valerie face her estranged family, and Valerie helps Harry escape his, the two quickly form a bond that runs deeper than either of them could have imagined.
When his Hogwarts letter arrives and sends Harry over the bend, he's prepared to offer Valerie just about anything to go with him. Which is just as well, because Valerie has been considering a career change for a while now, and what better world for the little spy to start conquering than the magical?
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"He was perfectly aware that quite frankly it was fucking sad to get drunk by himself on a Saturday night at sixteen when he knew for a fact other people in his year had gone out to a party in the town nearby but he really didn’t want to deal with those assholes drunk even though he was envious of there friendship So he drank until he passed out."
Archer gets bullied at prep school, has a sexuality crisis and hooks up with someone
(TW use of homophobic slurs) -
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Following their CIA mishap(s), Lana and Archer have somehow been granted a do-over with their new lives in LA. Adjusting to a different city with different means of mania will take some getting used to.
Now operating under their sketchy PI roles, they find themselves forced to navigate not so much clear blue Californian waters, but the murkier, more macabre waves of a less-than functional family.
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takes place right after 13x03 (saturday.) Archer drowns his sorrow in familiar ways. He and Cyril get caught.
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For the first time, it hit Archer that having nothing left to lose could be a good thing.
“Where’d you go?” Cyril asked, setting his empty glass down on the table.
“Sorry,” Archer said. His heart raced as he stole a glance at the older man, downing his glass before clearing his throat and setting it aside, “You ever think about doing something crazy?”