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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of my smutty one-shot stories from the Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit fandom.

    1. Bilbo got drunk in a gathering of dwarves in Erebor so Thorin took care of him back in his chamber
    2. Nori got caught running away so as decided by the elders of Thorin's company, Dwalin has to talk to him over it
    3. The real story behind Fili & Kili losing the ponies
    4. Elrond found Thranduil cradling his twin sons to sleep with a lullaby then approached the elven king
    5. Pippin spent the night in the House of Healing with an injured Merry
    6. Boromir taught Faramir archery to lift his spirits
    7. Kili mocked Legolas whislt captured, tempting the prince elf
    8. Bilbo used the One Ring's power for kinky purposes, teasing Thorin on his throne

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,894
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    2278
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Quite drunk, in the dead of night, Kíli stays behind to practice his archery and meets an elf with whom it's all too easy to ignore the forced distance between their peoples.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,000
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    587
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Right,” Fili said. “We need to all stay alive, then. That shouldn’t be too hard.”

    “You try it,” Bilbo muttered. “See how well you do.”

    ~

    By a curse or a blessing from the Valar, Bilbo finds himself repeating the same horrific day of war outside of Erebor again and again. His repeats are always triggered when someone from the company falls. He suffers days and days on his own before the others begin to repeat the day with him.

    One would think that with the whole company, an elf king, and a bowman all knowing what was to come, Bilbo would have an easier time getting them all through the day alive.

    One would think that, wouldn't they.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,227
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    408
    Bookmarks:
    117
    Hits:
    3191
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Какие ещё тайны скрывают гномы и эльфы, и что делает хоббит, когда неожиданно его в эти тайны посвящают.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    3,747
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    86
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Kili gets a quite unexpected visitor one evening while being held prisoner by the elves of Mirkwood. Legolas/Kili, Kili/Legolas slash. LegolasxKili, KilixLegolas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    4045
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Practically snowed in, Bilbo agrees to spend the winter in Erebor before setting off for the Shire following the Battle of the Five Armies. To his horror, his dwarves have no concept of Yuletide and everything that season brings. He sets out to bring some festive cheer into the mountain´s halls. Its King finds the appearance of all that strange botany mildly worrisome. And then there are all the needles...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    210
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    5195
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Halloween Writing Challenge that I found off of Tumblr. Will be largely Hobbit Ships, but may also include Supernatural, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Merlin, Marvel, etc. Will update fandoms and tags as I go, and will list each pairing as the chapter title.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,191
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    766
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Begins as Fluffy smut, but still true to character.
    Please enjoy, and feel free to comment.

    Do be warned that it departs from being fluffy by chapter 5, and becomes more serious.
    And be warned of non-consentual sex in chapter 6.

    This is Part 1 of the Love Between Warriors series.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,822
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    3056
  9. Tags
    Summary

    When Kili is attacked by the guards in Mirkwood, he is unexpectedly saved by the elven prince, Legolas. But what starts out as a chance encounter suddenly ends up becoming an arranged marriage.

    Kili doesn't know how this is his life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,199
    Chapters:
    22/23
    Comments:
    304
    Kudos:
    801
    Bookmarks:
    162
    Hits:
    25156
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Kili is not pleased at his Uncle's agreement for an alliance between the dwarves and elves, but when something goes horribly wrong, he might start to realise that being promised to the elf prince isn't as bad as it seems. Also, Fili and Dis are cute. (I'm bad at summaries)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,805
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    2639
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Hobbits like to bake.

    Dwarf kings like to eat.

    Hobbit consorts and their dwarf king husbands like to ...

    Play.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,825
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    25
    Kudos:
    262
    Bookmarks:
    38
    Hits:
    5188
  12. Tags
    Summary

    War makes for strange bedfellows, as does grief. Two survivors of the Battle of Five Armies, who fought each other before they fought their enemies, try to make sense of the aftermath and the losses they share.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,212
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1207
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Fili and Kili have always trusted and loved each other completely, but what happens when Kili begins to change...when he begins to disappear in the night and can't tell Fili anything about what's happening to him? What can Fili do?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,333
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    2970
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Post "if the hills fall, I will rally to you".

    With Thorin worrying about the Ered Luin trade, the last thing he needs is to worry about an old injury that's merely flaring up a little. That's all, and as far as Bilbo's concerned, it's nothing worth worrying over.

    Until it suddenly isn't a little flare up. It's something far worse.

    And because that isn't enough, devastating news is delivered to Erebor that will change everything forever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,957
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    232
    Kudos:
    371
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    10611
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Legolas found Kili wandering around and he fel into the lake, what else could he do than offer him some warm clothes.

    Part 1 of 'Middle Earth's dirty little secrets' series

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,026
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    3615
  16. Tags
    Summary

    When little girls start dying in what appears to be unrelated accidents and murders, the last thing Seattle PD expected was to be recruited in a task force with FBI Agent William “Bilbo” Baggins who claims that the murders are done by the Fairy Tale Killer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,185
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    101
    Kudos:
    313
    Bookmarks:
    94
    Hits:
    9460
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Legolas notices a thread connecting him with one of the younger dwarves.

    It's long and thin, but twined in such a way that it will never break. But what takes him aback is how it shines, like mithril reflecting a ray of light. He's never seen anything like it before.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,968
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    259
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    6013
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Middle-Earth is otherwise know as P3X-899, just another planet on the list to try and find a way to defeat he Goa'uld. When they discover that the DHD is missing some crucial components, and with a damaged Stargate, SG-1 find themselves stuck on a world where none of their technology works. They discover a colony of rather small, angry, and mostly axe wielding people and are informed that according to legend the crystals within the DHD were taken by the Nazgul into Mordor.

    It is seven years since the Battle of the Five Armies, and Bilbo Baggins is just starting to settle back into life in the Shire. That is until Gandalf comes knocking again, this time with a group of strange menfolk from a distant world who need his magic ring to get into Mordor. Who need to defeat the Dark Lord in order to get home. He once again finds himself on an adventure, one that could change the course of history.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,320
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1247
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Post 'to rule the fate of many', one year after the final battle.

    Bilbo gets his garden, his own secret grove, and dutifully begins planting.

    Except that it's not so secret. And everyone wants to stop by.

    And this is supposed to be a SECRET.

    One-shot. Can be read without the series (please see A/N at the beginning!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,703
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    364
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    9461
  20. Tags
    Summary

    "The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many." – Gandalf the Grey

    "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? …For even the very wise cannot see all ends." – Gandalf the Grey 

    Ten years after the Ring was destroyed, kings were crowned, and a hobbit married a dwarf, peace rings across all lands.

    But as they will all learn, wickedness still resides in Middle-Earth, and it will strike out for its own selfish gains. When the Shire, and Bilbo, are threatened, the former Ringbearer will find numerous allies at his side, some old friends, some new faces, to oppose the new threat.

    Yet the greater threat is one that they may not be able to circumvent: Fate itself. For Fate has been denied lives it was meant to take years ago, and the very hobbit who strives to stop Fate's hand may be the one that tips it.

    ----

    A/N: If you are concerned about the Major Character Death tag PLEASE SEE THE NOTE IN THE FIRST CHAPTER. I will make it better I swear. There are fics planned for after this one!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    149,643
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Comments:
    1404
    Kudos:
    610
    Bookmarks:
    59
    Hits:
    32059

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