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  1. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of my smutty one-shot stories from the Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit fandom.

    1. Bilbo got drunk in a gathering of dwarves in Erebor so Thorin took care of him back in his chamber
    2. Nori got caught running away so as decided by the elders of Thorin's company, Dwalin has to talk to him over it
    3. The real story behind Fili & Kili losing the ponies
    4. Elrond found Thranduil cradling his twin sons to sleep with a lullaby then approached the elven king
    5. Pippin spent the night in the House of Healing with an injured Merry
    6. Boromir taught Faramir archery to lift his spirits
    7. Kili mocked Legolas whislt captured, tempting the prince elf
    8. Bilbo used the One Ring's power for kinky purposes, teasing Thorin on his throne

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,894
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    4592
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Quite drunk, in the dead of night, Kíli stays behind to practice his archery and meets an elf with whom it's all too easy to ignore the forced distance between their peoples.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,000
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    896
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Right,” Fili said. “We need to all stay alive, then. That shouldn’t be too hard.”

    “You try it,” Bilbo muttered. “See how well you do.”

    ~

    By a curse or a blessing from the Valar, Bilbo finds himself repeating the same horrific day of war outside of Erebor again and again. His repeats are always triggered when someone from the company falls. He suffers days and days on his own before the others begin to repeat the day with him.

    One would think that with the whole company, an elf king, and a bowman all knowing what was to come, Bilbo would have an easier time getting them all through the day alive.

    One would think that, wouldn't they.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,227
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    114
    Kudos:
    596
    Bookmarks:
    193
    Hits:
    5069
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Какие ещё тайны скрывают гномы и эльфы, и что делает хоббит, когда неожиданно его в эти тайны посвящают.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    3,747
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    117
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Kili gets a quite unexpected visitor one evening while being held prisoner by the elves of Mirkwood. Legolas/Kili, Kili/Legolas slash. LegolasxKili, KilixLegolas.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    179
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    4620
  6. Tags
    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,004
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1252
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Practically snowed in, Bilbo agrees to spend the winter in Erebor before setting off for the Shire following the Battle of the Five Armies. To his horror, his dwarves have no concept of Yuletide and everything that season brings. He sets out to bring some festive cheer into the mountain´s halls. Its King finds the appearance of all that strange botany mildly worrisome. And then there are all the needles...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,503
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    220
    Bookmarks:
    27
    Hits:
    5509
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Halloween Writing Challenge that I found off of Tumblr. Will be largely Hobbit Ships, but may also include Supernatural, Sherlock, Doctor Who, Merlin, Marvel, etc. Will update fandoms and tags as I go, and will list each pairing as the chapter title.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,191
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    848
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Begins as Fluffy smut, but still true to character.
    Please enjoy, and feel free to comment.

    Do be warned that it departs from being fluffy by chapter 5, and becomes more serious.
    And be warned of non-consentual sex in chapter 6.

    This is Part 1 of the Love Between Warriors series.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,822
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    81
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    3194
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Attacked by the guards of Mirkwood, Kili is unexpectedly saved by the elven prince, Legolas. But what starts out as a chance encounter ends up becoming an arranged marriage.

    Kili doesn't know how this is his life.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,199
    Chapters:
    22/23
    Comments:
    305
    Kudos:
    839
    Bookmarks:
    163
    Hits:
    26012
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Kili is not pleased at his Uncle's agreement for an alliance between the dwarves and elves, but when something goes horribly wrong, he might start to realise that being promised to the elf prince isn't as bad as it seems. Also, Fili and Dis are cute. (I'm bad at summaries)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,805
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    2832
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Hobbits like to bake.

    Dwarf kings like to eat.

    Hobbit consorts and their dwarf king husbands like to ...

    Play.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,825
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    274
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    5451
  13. Tags
    Summary

    War makes for strange bedfellows, as does grief. Two survivors of the Battle of Five Armies, who fought each other before they fought their enemies, try to make sense of the aftermath and the losses they share.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,212
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    64
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1341
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Fili and Kili have always trusted and loved each other completely, but what happens when Kili begins to change...when he begins to disappear in the night and can't tell Fili anything about what's happening to him? What can Fili do?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,333
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    61
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    3167
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Post "if the hills fall, I will rally to you".

    With Thorin worrying about the Ered Luin trade, the last thing he needs is to worry about an old injury that's merely flaring up a little. That's all, and as far as Bilbo's concerned, it's nothing worth worrying over.

    Until it suddenly isn't a little flare up. It's something far worse.

    And because that isn't enough, devastating news is delivered to Erebor that will change everything forever.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,957
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    232
    Kudos:
    387
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    11203
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Legolas found Kili wandering around and he fel into the lake, what else could he do than offer him some warm clothes.

    Part 1 of 'Middle Earth's dirty little secrets' series

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,026
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    65
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    3880
  17. Tags
    Summary

    When little girls start dying in what appears to be unrelated accidents and murders, the last thing Seattle PD expected was to be recruited in a task force with FBI Agent William “Bilbo” Baggins who claims that the murders are done by the Fairy Tale Killer.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,185
    Chapters:
    31/31
    Comments:
    103
    Kudos:
    320
    Bookmarks:
    99
    Hits:
    9693
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Legolas notices a thread connecting him with one of the younger dwarves.

    It's long and thin, but twined in such a way that it will never break. But what takes him aback is how it shines, like mithril reflecting a ray of light. He's never seen anything like it before.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,968
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    280
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    6512
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Middle-Earth is otherwise know as P3X-899, just another planet on the list to try and find a way to defeat he Goa'uld. When they discover that the DHD is missing some crucial components, and with a damaged Stargate, SG-1 find themselves stuck on a world where none of their technology works. They discover a colony of rather small, angry, and mostly axe wielding people and are informed that according to legend the crystals within the DHD were taken by the Nazgul into Mordor.

    It is seven years since the Battle of the Five Armies, and Bilbo Baggins is just starting to settle back into life in the Shire. That is until Gandalf comes knocking again, this time with a group of strange menfolk from a distant world who need his magic ring to get into Mordor. Who need to defeat the Dark Lord in order to get home. He once again finds himself on an adventure, one that could change the course of history.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,320
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1287
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Post 'to rule the fate of many', one year after the final battle.

    Bilbo gets his garden, his own secret grove, and dutifully begins planting.

    Except that it's not so secret. And everyone wants to stop by.

    And this is supposed to be a SECRET.

    One-shot. Can be read without the series (please see A/N at the beginning!)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,703
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    384
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    10112

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