981 - 1000 of 9591 Works in John Egbert

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    EB: OMG JEGUS DAVE
    EB: i was talking about your shirt size!
    EB: SHIRT SIZE!
    EB: because i saw a shirt that reminded me of you
    EB: and i was gonna buy it!
    EB: but now i don’t know if i want to!
    --
    Dave consistently misunderstands John and things just steamroll into conversations of the weirdest caliber.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,426
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    1612
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat was exiled and sent to death.

    He accepted his fate. He didn't realize that other people would fight on for him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,001
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    608
  3. Tags
    Summary

    It’s been a couple of months after the game. The guardians returned, and everything was back to normal.

    Except it wasn’t.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    535
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    86
  4. Tags
    Summary

    About an hour before the final bell is supposed to ring the air vents groan out an odd gurgling, constipated noise. At the front the teacher pauses mid-sentence, mouth still open and left eye nervously twitching. Next to you Sollux checks his watch, gives a start and promptly snatches up his text book to hold it above his head like a impromptu roof. You follow suit —barely in time for the vents to barf out a truly outrageous amount of glitter. Heart shaped glitter, which spews into the room, billowing through the air and promptly covering everything in an eye watering layer of aggressively rufescent sparkles. Classy.

     

    Valentine's day is the perfect day for pranking. Really, it is!
    (Karkat is not amused. Lucky for John he looks cute in that dress)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,125
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    768
  5. Tags
    Summary

    You are John Egbert, and you, Dave, Rose, and Jade plan to buy as many troll slaves as you can afford for no particular reason besides justice and the overwhelming sensation of pity.

    You are Karkat Vantas, and you wonder why the ever loving fuck this pitiful human has saved your ass, and is playing MotherGrub to the rest of your species.

    You are the reader, and I hope you have a box of tissues ready in preparation for sobbing, and a quiet room alone in which you may sail your smutty ships.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,411
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    662
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Nightclubs aren't very safe in the longrun, but when you're playing DJ and you have a hot twink for a brother, things can only get messy...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,617
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    553
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Things aren't going well. People are dying and the end seems near. And if that wasn't bad enough, you find out Dave has been cheating on you. For how long you don't know. You lock yourself in your room and sink into depression. But an unexpected pester gives you an opportunity you can't refuse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,178
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    365
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "I told you to fucking lock your computer you dickshit."

    "I did, you dweeb! It was like fort freaking knox!"

    "No it wasn't," you say. You probably shouldn't interfere though, he looks pretty angry. The other guy just looks like he's about had it.

    The desktop of the computer you just hacked keeps the incredibly bright ROLAL sign you posted.

    You should probably stop signing your work.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,464
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    80
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1091
  9. Tags
    Summary

    When Principle Scratch thinks Eridan's sudden problems stem from all the free time he spends with his brother, he takes the liberty of signing him up for the drama club. Lucky Eridan because it's just in time for the fall musical! Eridan much rather be cut in half in half than have to deal with 'theater people' but when Feferi Peixes walks through the auditorium door he realizes this might be a way to patch up their once perfect friendship and even make the move he's been waiting oh so long to make. Of course things don't go as planned, but how much fun would the experience be without new friends and a few mishaps?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,216
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    190
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Dad didn't have a terrible temper, he just liked things a certain way. Clean and proper. He gave words of praise and encouragement any time John did something, but when it was something he didn't approve of, they would have an almost passive aggressive undertone. Dad could be a master manipulator when he wanted, always needing to get his way, and John knew this. But he’d wanted to tell him, hoped that he would give another remark or maybe just beat him and never talk about it again, go on in disappointed silence until John left for college or moved out. But that’s not what he got, he hated being isolated.

    “I have done everything in my power to make you a successful young man and time and time again you seem to chose all of the wrong paths. I tried and tried and then you come to me with this,” there was no emotion in his voice, no hurt or pain, “I did all that I could and you never appreciated it.” All that you could, hitting and scolding for wanting to see a friend or not getting a perfect grade every time or simply being there. “I’m done. Look at this as an early birthday;” four months away, “you seem to know what you want to do with yourself and how you want to spend the rest of your life, so go.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,491
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    94
    Kudos:
    256
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    3841
  11. Tags
    Summary

    What do you do if you meet a troll? Hide.
    I mean, it's not like you're going to outrun them. They're about twenty-five feet tall.
    John is really starting to regret this whole beanstalk shtick. The grumpy guy who lives over his house is nothing like he expected! He's actually super adorable.
    ...Unfortunately, he still kind of wants to eat John.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,779
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    105
    Kudos:
    194
    Bookmarks:
    30
    Hits:
    3958
  12. Tags
    Summary

    John gets lucky with the owner of a local tavern while he's in port.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,817
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    745
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Tavros Nitram is a Demon, a very bored demon.`His name is long forgotten, and life just an endless eternity, spent sleeping and petting his bull. That is until he is summoned to the human World for a bet. He is now stuck chained to Gamzee until the young man is willing to give up his soul to Tavros. Which doesn't seem to be anytime soon unfortunately. In his time spent with the Human he explores the wonders and possibilities of the human world, something that is completely foreign.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,399
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    143
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Just a thing I've been concocting in the most innocent places of my mind. Based off of some YouTube videos I like.
    Rated T for sexual innuendo and possibly some curse words in the future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    299
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    30
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It’s times like these when you really start to struggle. When winter comes early and leaves you hungry and awake when you should be full and sleeping. So every day, when the sun is high enough to shed some warmth, you scour your territory to its farthest reaches in the hopes of finding something to fill your belly with. And for three days, you come back empty handed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,293
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    268
  16. Tags
    Summary

    I wrote this with the original intention of making it Stridercest, but I'm not so sure I want to go further than this. If I do continue it, it'll just be as a separate fic in a series since this makes a good one-shot. But yeah, title says it all.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    630
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    27
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Dave decides the perfect time to confess is when John is asleep next to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    606
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    530
  18. Tags
    Summary

    The world seemed to move in a sort of a blur more and more often these days, and you couldn't tell if it was because you were moving so fast or because you had slowed down time without knowing it. You could feel a hollowness in your chest as you climb the stairs, your mind instantly counting each second with precision according to the ever-shifting earth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,602
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    143
  19. Tags
    Summary

    It's only been a few years in the dream bubbles, but there's no stopping something that's been there the whole time.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,508
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    146
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat is the new kid in school after being kicked out of his last three. Crabdad wants to keep him close what will happen to this poor kid when he meets the rest of the trolls and the kids?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,221
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    201

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