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  1. Tags
    Summary

    when john egberts dad makes him walk home one particularly cold fall night, convinced he's been followed from his orchestra concert late one school evening, he passes a graveyard and gets the scariest jumpscare from the lamest kid he's ever seen.

    dirk on the other hand, wants to drain him of all his red blood cells. all that sweet human juice.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,934
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Hits:
    1
  2. Tags
    Summary

    - A declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person because of how difficult it would be to live without them.

    ~

    “You bury me.” Probably the last words Dave Strider ever said.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,868
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    97
  3. Tags
    Summary

    AN AU HUMANSTUCK NOVEL
    BOOK ONE OF THE DREAM CATCHER SERIES

    A game has been presented to the school. Karkat knows this might be the chance he can show everyone how much of a leader he really can be. However, going on the run and trying to flee from a murderer is not what he and the other two teams had in mind.
    One life has gone, and another is sure to follow.
    The obvious answer would be to tell the cops, but if that happens,
    It is game over for everyone.
     

     

    Disclaimer: I do not own the AMAZING characters, or any media that goes along with this story. Terezi will not be blind in this story, but she will need her glasses to see.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    109,834
    Chapters:
    134/144
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1065
  4. Tags
    Summary

    In which Dirk is the subbiest sub to have ever subbed, Jake is happy to dom him but would maybe like to explore the other side of being a switch every once in a while, and they work things out to their mutual satisfaction with much ado and about 7k words of sex.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,546
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    245
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Skaia High is full of a strange assortment of characters; the douchebag who plays guitar (badly) to pick up chicks, the 17-year old who still carries around Pokémon cards, but everyone finds him attractive regardless, the girl who became a certified lifeguard at 14, the disguised albino, the girl who’s best friend blinded her in 7th grade, and a myriad of other odd friends. They are slowly finding their way, paving their paths as they grow up. This is a compilation of their stories.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Rose doesn't know how to feel about high school. She doesn't know how to feel about her family's problems, and sometimes she seems to be the only one trying to be proactive about them. Roxy is in a new environment, and suddenly very unsure of herself, in a way she's never really been before. Maybe they can help each other out, if they can get over their perceptions of the other.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,089
    Chapters:
    4/15
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    100
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Summary: It was supposed to the best four years of their life but things start to change with the kids. They start to develop powers thus making them go on the run. This is an AU fic where Sburb does not happen. The kids develop their god tier powers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,575
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    129
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Four kids play a game. Reality and hilarity ensues.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,162
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    101
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Sollux Captor has the worst luck possible. Not only is his girlfriend dead, but now, he's the latest victim in the string of attacks that have littered Alternia.

    Eridan Ampora is still learning the ways of being a vampire, and what rules must never be broken. With the police still baffled, he decides to test his limits, but only time will tell if he is caught or not.

    Xefros Tritoh has no clue what is going on. He's torn between his semi-abusive best friend who is leading a rebellion and the destruction of all vampires, and the only vampire that treats him like, well, a human.

    What will happen when plans change unexpectedly? Will the rebellion be the downfall of every undead vampire?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,144
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    223
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Some mistakes are so fucking big that they divert the path of your life entirely, sending you somewhere you were never meant to go. Some mistakes are so seismic and so obvious that when you look back on your life all you can see is the beacon where you made them. Some mistakes leave you so far off course you don't even recognize who you are or why you're still here.

    You don't usually get a chance to make amends.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,205
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    126
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    1071
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk's gotta get to Anaheim, but he can't make it on his own. He needs to enlist the help of Jake's cousin--some guy named John Egbert.

    (previously titled "Pure and Simple". "Two Days To Anaheim" was just a way cooler name.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,512
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    153
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Dave's read those stupid soulmate happily-ever-after articles, and he finds them completely cliche. Wouldn't anyone? Their filled with guarantees and fake smiles. It's almost sickening. So there is one thing that everyone ought to know about Dave: he does not give two shits who turns out to be his stupid soulmate, even if she's hot and smart. Because there is one thing Dave knows for sure...that relationships don't last, and they are not, in any way, "perfect".

    So first quarter just ended so I'll be a little less stressed about my grades. I've missed writing WEOTKAK so I'm going to try and get back to writing every week, and hopefully every day (or every few days). Stick with me guys, I'm not dead yet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,504
    Chapters:
    59/?
    Comments:
    436
    Kudos:
    561
    Bookmarks:
    44
    Hits:
    8572
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Kankri finds a box of old photos.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,157
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    36
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "Hope to me is about believing in stuff. If you believe in stuff, then everything feels like it's going to be okay."
    - Jake English

     

    After stepping through that pure white door...John did not expect to see a battle field littered with his dead friends. After four years fighting aginst Lord English, he was the only one left standing against the cherub.

    But...perhaps...fate is on his side.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    99,999
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    85
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    1461
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Crocker Magitech is among the foremost developers of innovative magic and technology for the modern home, and the team of Crocker, Lalonde, and Strider are among the most important cogs in their clockwork machine. After a long dry spell without new projects to work on, Jane hits it big with a grand new discovery: a remote island out in the South Pacific that’s teeming with lost majyyks to rediscover.

    What the team finds out there is far more than their next big break: a lost settlement, a forgotten god, strange arcane flora, and a friendly boy living in the lake. Not even the combined knowledge of the team can prepare them for their expedition to this strange, hidden island.

    Magic, sex, and mayhem ensue.

    (Arc: “I have no idea how to elevator pitch this story, the concept is so *weird*. HEY Y’ALL, THREE DISILLUSIONED FRIENDS GO TO SOUTHERN PACIFIC SEX ISLAND AND HAVE CONVOLUTED SEXY MAGICAL ADVENTURES.”
    City: “Make that the exact line right there in the fic summary. Draw people in with what they didn’t know they wanted.”)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    88,850
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    349
    Kudos:
    857
    Bookmarks:
    129
    Hits:
    10806
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Sometimes, he thought, if he could, he wouldn’t have left Dirk behind.

    Based on the fact that Joey's father seems to be an absent bastard, more so after the death of his wife, leaving the children to be raised by their sitter while he adventures in the wilderness. Not set in-canon of the game or the comic, just my imagining of the thought: instead of giving up on his happiness, his children, everything; what if Jake had seeked reconciliation from Dirk? Expect a lot of pining, buried feelings, and very outdated British vocabulary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,205
    Chapters:
    5/7
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    46
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    404
  16. Tags
    Summary

    The following leaflet contains necessary information on how to fix your broken not-relationship through the art of communication! Provided that you don't dance around the topic for almost a decade, fail step one of the Communication Manual by not communicating concisely and efficiently, and break up with your not-boyfriend of almost ten years. If the above has happened to you because your name is Dirk Strider, please refer to our Contingency Plan which is most certainly not "keep fucking up."

    You're not reading the Contingency Plan, are you?

    God damn it.

    (also known as the one where Dirk accidentally breaks up with Jake and everything that could possibly go wrong goes wrong in between.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,786
    Chapters:
    7/10
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    737
  17. Tags
    Summary

    They had did it, they had won... so why don't the other's remember? Why are they back on earth with their powers? What the hell is going on?

    John, Dave, Jake, Roxy and Karkat are the only ones who remember the game. That and their powers are still with them and they seem to be in another goddamn universe, so many things are different. They have families now that don't know anything about the game, Dave having to deal with two brothers at the same time now and John dealing having his dad back things are hard for the 5 of them and watch them try to live a somewhat normal life.

    However it seems that their fighting days are over as the Condesce keeps sending drones and imps keep appearing! So they form a secret group that will try their hardest to keep Earth safe!

    But the Condesce is coming and their friends and family become more and more suspicious, oh how their lives are soo complicated!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,853
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    108
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1072
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat has had a shitty life and has had to bust his ass for everything he has. He has no patience for spoiled, delusional, lazy people and this is exactly what he thinks Dave Strider is. They get paired up together for a project in their college English class and when Karkat accidently learns that Dave is fighting to keep custody of his younger brother Dirk, he learns that he may have been completely wrong about Dave and shouldn't have judged a book by it's cover. A story of two damaged boys coming to each others rescue and growing as people. <3

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,353
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    57
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1443
  19. Tags
    Summary

    You can't remember what your friend's chumhandles were. You ask after Jane, tell her that you were sorry for what happened, thank her for her help in that final fight. You think it might be Roxy, but the typing style just isn't the same. You tell her that you hope she's found Calliope, and that she was so brave to even go near the Batterwitch, just in case.

    You decide not to think about it being the boy with the sword.

    / a dirkjake fic about finding something that you forgot you lost. set vaguely in the Be My Boyfriend (I'll Pay You) universe, but its probably not necessary to read that to understand tbh

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,431
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    57
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk has the worst day ever and chalks it up to the fact that it's Friday the 13th.
    Jake swoops in like the hero boyfriend that he is and makes everything ok.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,566
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    145

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