11 Works in Jake English/Karkat Vantas

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    “No, for the last fucking time, I am not letting you pick the film for movie night again,” you snap, grabbing the DVD case of Batman & Robin out of Jake’s hands. You have suffered through enough horrible superhero films, five weeks’ worth of awful, poorly-acted, cheesy-dialogue-filled shit. Yes, movie night is only once a week, but the atrocity of each film is enough to stick with you until the next one. Five movies together still represents over ten hours of your life that you could have spent biting your fingernails, fighting an endless battle to subdue your hair into something slightly less unruly looking (not that you'd ever admit that to anyone), or masturbating while thinking about Jake English’s soft belly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,465
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    415
  2. Tags
    Summary

    An exotic courtesan pleasures a hoard of raunchy mammals.

     
    Written for Drone Season 2014.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,721
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    2759
  3. Tags
    Summary

    An alternate universe where trolls actually made it to our universe. Humans grew up on troll romance, trolls learned all things human. Male humans can reproduce with each other, through help, as can human females. Trolls mate as a human would, having abandoned filial pails. Feferi is the Condesce. Aradia is godtier, not a robot. Everyone who played Sgrub/Sburb is godtier. Sburb never destroyed Earth when the kids played. Alpha kids live in the same timeline as beta kids.

    Basically anything not canon I'm playing around with because I wanted to experiment a little. For the purpose of the AU, neither Dave nor Dirk are Bro, and neither Rose nor Roxy are Mom. Jake and Jade are both raised by Bec. Chapter names are associated with an aspect or class I feel fits the chapter (or a significant aspect of the chapter) best.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,963
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    913
  4. Tags
    Summary

    A few short crack fics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,262
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    360
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "Would you care for a flapjack?" he inquires, ever-cheerful and downright grating as you enter the kitchen. The goofy grin on his face is 100% earnest, and you absolutely hate it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,303
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    674
  6. Tags
    Summary

    "He was in his shitty Lara Croft shorts that were too small for him two years ago, and now he’s big enough that they don’t leave much to the imagination."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    637
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    287
  7. Tags
    Summary

    You are absolutely sure that Jake English is without a doubt the worst lover in all paradox space.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    666
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    424
  8. Tags
    Summary

    A new neighbor. A new way of thinking.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,084
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    611
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Jake is a young ENIO (English Initiative Operative) soldier on a mission; he is to explore the abandoned alien vessel the scouting team chanced upon and bring back any and all pieces of alien technology that can help humanity against the looming threat that is the Alternian Empire.

    But as it turns out, the ancient space colony isn't as abandoned as they were expecting...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,058
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1489
  10. Tags
    Summary

    You'd give anything to wipe that smug smirk off his face, but he's got the gun and you don't feel like biting the bullet just yet.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    885
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    955
  11. Tags
    Summary

    How do you teach your boyfriends that guns aren’t toys? Let them play with your pistol, of course.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,208
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    224
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    4495

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