1 - 20 of 41 Works in Hysterical Dame

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    So the day's almost here, the moment of truth, the final event, the big group party takedown of The Felt. The Midnight Crew's here. Team Sleuth is here. Patrick Sloan, Peter Inesco and "Ace" Dick Dunn sit down around the table with Jack Noir, Paolo Diamante, Clint Duccio and Hank Bachman to lay out their plans, say their peace, then head out their separate ways before the big heist. And prepare yourself, because we're introducing something you've never seen in A Legitimate Businessman before: CHAPTERS!!!!

    Series
    Words:
    10,559
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    36
    Kudos:
    19
    Hits:
    520
  2. Tags
    Summary

    “So what I was thinkin' was...” Oh goodness. It is never a good time for Mr Sleuth to say that. You almost dread what crazy scheme he is about to put into motion, yet both Mr Ace and yourself continue listening anyway. Perhaps you are just as insane as Mr Sleuth's schemes?

    Series
    Words:
    14,134
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    47
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1017
  3. Tags
    Summary

    You walk through the town, not to assert your dominance or get any business done, but instead to listen to the word on the streets.

    All you hear is the same things you’ve heard before, same things you can’t stop hearing ever since Scoff came around. Shit about how the Scoundrels ran circles around you and your Crew, got them all locked up. About how they took over the city in a matter of weeks. About how they killed the sleuths—even the Chosen Arbiter.

    Words:
    2,703
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    17
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Doxy never hesitates to point out your flaws, but even she thinks you could go on stage with her. Wouldn’t it be wonderful, she says, the two of you singing a powerful love song up on stage with all those people watching. Think of the money—she knows what you care about—think how many people would pay to see Heinous Doxy sing with Peccant Scofflaw.

    Words:
    977
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    8
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The man who would become Peccant Scofflaw has arrived in Metropolis Central. He is little more than a hobo, fresh out of the desert carrying only the clothes on his back and the sword on his hip. Someday, he will conquer this city. For now, he needs to figure out how to pay his rent.

    Words:
    15,854
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    188
  6. Tags
    Summary

    I don't care how you do it. I don't care who you murder, what you burn or who gets caught in the crossfire. Follow my orders, see your objectives complete and I will reward you like kings, you will be untouchable. Fail and I will see to it that your corpses will be the first I tread upon as I walk into the city and take it for myself. Let me make this clear, you are disposable, you are pathetic and you are worthless in the long run, and only if you prove yourselves now will I consider keeping you as I move onto greater things. Now get to work. -Orders from English-

    Words:
    50,569
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Hits:
    32
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Hysterical Dame finds out the relationship between Snowman and Nervous Broad and isn't too pleased by it.

    Words:
    2,232
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    15
  8. Tags
    Summary

    In which Problem Sleuth cuts a rug, Spades Slick is Spades Slick, and for some GPI forsaken reason- they work.

    Words:
    5,917
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    198
  9. Tags
    Summary

    For all she's dating a vampire and hunted by supernatural creatures, for Hysterical Dame the glamour of the night wears off real fast.

    Words:
    1,060
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    166
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Humanized middle school AU with a middle school level overly-dramatic almost-love triangle.

    Words:
    8,305
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    267
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Dame and Broad just can't catch a break with the weather in this city.

    Words:
    608
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    169
  12. Tags
    Summary

    She’s real. She has to be. You’re almost definitely totally certain that your alternate-universe opposite-sex doppelganger girlfriend is real.

    Okay, it sounds pretty silly when you put it like that.

    (Or, I was reminded that the ladies are imaginary and imaginary things can't exist in the real universe, and my brain went 'FIX THIS.')

    Words:
    1,361
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    197
  13. Tags
    Summary

    There's an office in midtown with "PS, AD, & PI, Private Detectives" frosted on the glass. The three rivals turned partners were just trying to scratch out a living when they fell right in the middle of something big, something dangerous, something kept in a file marked 'MK'.

    Paul Shepard is a man possessed, hunting the man who hunts him and his team. Somewhere between the drug trafficking and extortion rackets, between the gambling rings and back alley brothels, Shepard finds help in the most unexpected of places.

    Words:
    33,047
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    76
    Kudos:
    138
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    5952
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Perks of a perfectly mundane apartment: you’re not trapped in it by weird puzzle shit. Drawbacks: sometimes the heat goes out. (Or, two roommates, a lot of blankets, and one brilliant stupid plan; or, this trope has nothing on NB and HD.)

    Words:
    693
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    97
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Slick's on his way back to the hideout when he runs into a little abandoned troll.

    Words:
    22,872
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    2543
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Once they got to the point where Sleuth, Scoff, and Dame could be in the same room without weapons being drawn and lives being threatened, it was inevitable that it would happen eventually.

    Words:
    892
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    136
  17. Tags
    Summary

    If Problem Sleuth had actually died from Sepulchritude.

    Just a ficlet, not anything particularly special.

    Words:
    251
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    77
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Problem Sleuth got roughed up by Droog, so Hysterical Dame gets her own back.
    (The title is the name of one of the innocuous doubles in the Problem Sleuth webcomic - the skeleton brush/whip.)

    Words:
    1,076
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    93
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The setting is a place called HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY, and four students are about to embark on a MARVELOUS JOURNEY through the DANGEROUS WATERS OF ADOLESCENCE, as well as THE LESS DANGEROUS WATERS OF ORGANIZED CRIME. They are also ostensibly GOING TO LEARN MAGIC.

    And, quite possibly, there will be a great deal of KISSING ON THE FACE.

    (In which the Midnight Crew goes to Hogwarts, Spike writes unencumbered by a plot, and promotes all the ships.)

    Words:
    17,219
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    21
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1034
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Scofflaw introspects.

    Words:
    1,019
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    221

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