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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Mostly he sleeps and dreams about Farah and Todd coming to his rescue, through various different madcap adventures. They are always looking different, wearing fabulous outfits. Once he dreams that they are electric eels, having worked out that the easiest way to spring Dirk would be filling the building with water and swim in. The Todd-eel is blue like his eyes and the Farah-eel has a tiny wisp of springy hair on its head, and carries a tiny gun in the curl of its tail.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,607
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    332
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk and Todd try to survive the end of the world and each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,613
    Chapters:
    17/17
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    446
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Even from a young age, he isn’t a romantic. It’s around third grade that kids start writing to their Match, eight year olds asking questions about their name, where they’re from, what they like, who they are. Todd doesn’t. He’s not really into the idea of Matches, even if it’s something he can’t change. People fall in love with people. If he falls in love, he’s not going to fall in love with someone who he knows only from ink on his arms that he didn’t put there.

    Whoever his Match is, however, does not feel the same way. His left arm (so he must be right handed) is covered with doodles. Crude flowers drawn with what looks like ballpoint pens, so lots of skipping and gaps in the lines. Sometimes the outlines of hearts that look like fountain pens, but are smudged quickly, the ink running too hard.

    Soulmate AU where anything you write on your arm appears visible on your soulmate's. Written for the Dirk Gently Big Bang 2017.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    53,224
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    118
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    874
  4. Tags
    Summary

    ‘Look, Amanda, you’re about to wake up. When you do, remember - do whatever they tell you. Don’t fight back, don’t protest, don’t try to stop them. Just do it. I’ll find you. I promise’

    ‘I- what? Dirk, what’s going on?’

    ‘I can’t explain it all now. Just listen to me.’ His vision was fading.

    ‘Dirk?’
    ‘Yes?’

    ‘I’m scared.’

    ‘Don’t worry.’ Dirk smiled. ‘I am too.’
    -------
    The soulmate AU that isn't an AU. Set six months after the end of s2, Dirk's in Blackwing, where an experiment about psychic connections goes horribly wrong and his world is now in grayscale. Suddenly, a familiar face pops up.

    In another part of America, Todd and Farah are searching desperately for any trace of their missing friends. The only thing they have is a Buzzfeed article.

    Main pairing is Brotzly, with some Faranda on the side. Human experimentation and electrocution, (I'm not totally sure of everything to trigger tag, but I think that's it.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,444
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    231
  5. Tags
    Summary

    high school au in which stoner/potential dropout todd brotzman befriends weird new kid dirk gently while his burnout sister amanda befriends captain of the step team farah black and the discover some messed up shit the asshole dean of students is getting up to

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,186
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    116
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Blackwing takes the Name on Dirk's skin. Then it takes Dirk. Then it takes Todd. Then it takes and it takes and it takes from the pair of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,427
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    772
  7. Tags
    Summary

    "Looking up at the blank ceilings and plain walls in his empty cell, the Holistic Detective found himself exceedingly bored, given the only objects of interest around him were the thin lights on the walls and the tiny black Icarus symbol on his door. He had woken up from yet another dream, the same exact dream that had been plaguing him since he arrived."

    |A short one shot based off the Season 2 teaser scene with a captive Dirk|

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,965
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    110
  8. Tags
    Summary

    SPOILERY SEZON 1 + ZWIASTUN SEZONU 2!!!!

     

    (Już? OK)

    Po zniknięciu Dirka wiele rzeczy w życiu Todda się komplikuje. Nawet bardziej, niż wcześniej. Żeby odzyskać dawnego siebie musi odnaleźć swoją siostrę i Dirka, a co najważniejsze, stawić czoła swoim własnym demonom. Wszystko to komplikuje brak środków do życia i podejrzany stan zdrowia.

    Generalnie co według mnie mogło dziać się zaraz po zakończeniu pierwszego sezonu.
    Wybaczcie bezsensowny opis, nie mam wprawy tbh.

    Unikać, jeżeli masz uczulenie na rozbuchane opisy, postaci nie przypominające oryginalnych i kliszową historię rodem z harlequina. Ale bez seksu. I wątku romantycznego. I koni. Ale tak. herlequin.

    Language:
    Polski
    Words:
    1,504
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    7
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Not now.”

     

    And then everything went black.

     

    Takes place at the end of season 1's major cliffhanger, Dirk's future looks as glamorous as a muddy pond as Project Blackwing finally captures him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,810
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    23
    Hits:
    334
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Formerly "Never Let You Go"

    It seemed that the universe was finally rewarding them, taking a break from the hectic mess that their lives had become, only to rip it out of their hands. Blackwing is back with a vengeance it no longer cares to hold back, not even for those innocently swept up in the wake of one Prjoect Icarus. Farah and Todd do their best to muster up an escape plan, while Amanda and Vogel attempt a rescue mission with eventual help from Bart and Ken. Dirk just tries to get through every new experiment, hoping against hope that anyone is coming for him ... although it would be nice if that someone was a certain assisfriend ...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,896
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    597
  11. Tags
    Summary

    ”Y’know, make it up. Pretend to be in a relationship with someone. Can’t be that hard to fake, right?” it was still a stupid idea, but Todd was actually pretty invested in it now. He leaned forward, folding his arms. “C’mon, think about it- you got any other desperate homeless friends?”

    Yellow sat up fully, glancing between Todd and the paper. The storm clouds parted, and the sunniest smile Todd had ever seen broke across his face. “Well, now that you mention it, one fellow does spring to mind…”

    Todd meets Dirk when both are homeless and stuck in a rut- Todd fresh out of the band, Dirk fresh out of England- and find the perfect apartment. The catch? It’s professional couple only. Dirk proposes a ruse, and Todd’s too desperate to be picky. With the help of their friends- Farah, Todd’s trigger-happy ex-crush from college; Bart, Dirk’s terrifying ex-bodyguard from boarding school; Ken, the mysterious computer guy downstairs- they must keep their landlady Amanda Mandelbrot believing the lie, and learn to navigate the wonderful world of being ‘independent adults’.

    What could go wrong?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    61,664
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    148
    Kudos:
    77
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1029
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Ken talks his way out of custody in Blackwing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    548
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    61
  13. Tags
    Summary

    You’re alone, with your arms wrapped tight around a pillow at god knows what time in the night, and there are tears running down your face because you can’t seem to stop thinking about it, not even in your dreams.

    And then clutching your covers you get an idea.

    (In which Dirk has nightmares about Blackwing, goes to Todd for help, and is really, really, really in love.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,778
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    882
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “Oh I love Amanda, she’s one of my favorite customers.” Every single one of Dirk’s customers was his favorite customer. He paused a moment; “Wait—then you must be Todd! She’s told me a lot about you.”
    Todd suddenly had that look of alarm, the look of a man who knew that when people talked about him behind his back they usually weren’t saying good things. “Really?”
    “Yeah. She absolutely idolizes you, from what I’ve heard.”

    Magic AU where Dirk is the shopowner in a magic store. Some shit goes down, though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,977
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    215
  15. Tags
    Summary

    When Dirk Gently ropes him into the school musical, Todd isn't happy about it. But maybe Dirk's boundless enthusiasm for theatre, and for life in general, is contagious, because he's beginning to warm to the idea - and to the person. He's never seen someone so determined to put on a school show, and he's never met someone so eager (for reasons he can't understand) to befriend him.

    And his sister is trying to set them up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,422
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    409
  16. Tags
    Summary

    День святого Валентина в Риджли, полного ЦРУ, друзей холистического детектива и прочих персонажей, просто не могло пройти обычно.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,326
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    38
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Ко всеобщему удивлению, отношения Дирка и агента ЦРУ Р. продвинулись дальше одного кофе, что привело к неотвратимой слежке за обоими и тайному состязанию между двумя командами, населяющими Риджли.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    1,355
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    32
  18. Tags
    Summary

    В конце концов, устав от бесконечных догонялок, ЦРУ и Холистическое Агентство Дирка Джентли (а также их друзья) вместе находят выход из патовой ситуации.

    Series
    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    4,671
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    43
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Gently au where Dirk is the local cryptid living in the Seattle wilderness, and Todd is a cryptid hunter who’s looking for his claim to fame. Todd is dead set on capturing and killing Dirk in order to get the media exposure he wants, but changes his mind when Dirk saves him from dying of hypothermia.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,976
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    273
  20. Tags
    Summary

    “Not now,” he said, feeling an overwhelming pulse of helplessness. It wasn’t fair. He had friends, people who actually cared for him. For the first time in his life he didn't feel alone. Why did it have to be now?

    **This is pretty much canon until we reach the end of season 1, at which point we've gone AU baby!**

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,163
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    64
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    951

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