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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Dave has a plan. A foolproof plan. The kind of plan that makes everyone think, damn, what a good best friend. Everyone would give their ass to be Dave's best friend, because he is the sort of best friend that comes with awesome, totally-not-pulled-out-of-his-ass plans that rock his friends' socks off. The best friend plan. The plan that's gonna make Jade happy beyond belief.

    Dave is gonna set her up with Karkat Vantas.

    It probably would've helped to know beforehand that Karkat is trying to set her up with Dave.

    [or: dave "i want my best friend to be happy and if that means setting her up in a romance with shouty mcdorkpants then so be it" strider and karkat "i am watching the 'best friends that are secretly in love' trope unfold before my very eyes time to flex my matchmaking muscles" vantas experience a significant and very gay clash of interests: the romcom]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,277
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1120
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Eridan knows several things for certain. One, he has no friends. He found that out the hard way. Two, magic is fake and it always will be, the angelic creatures that float around him are hallucinations, the mark that appeared on his hand is a prank that will wash out eventually, and the girl following him around and telling him otherwise is crazy.

    In which Eridan goes on a journey of strange powers, gangs, unlikely friendships, and way too many people trying to fuck him up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,012
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    143
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1135
  3. Tags
    Summary

    john, dave, rose, and jade fall into a hazy, warm love that's coated thickly with not-so platonic feelings for all of their best friends and a lot of self-questioning

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,138
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    34
    Kudos:
    27
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    328
  4. Tags
    Summary

    "That's no way to request I mack on you. Beep, try again."

    "Dave you-"
    "The number you're trying to reach is unavailable-"
    "UGH."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    207
  5. Tags
    Summary

    "I guess by now you all know my friends danny broke his neck
    He was driving home from sirens when he got into a wreck
    First I cried for him and then I cried for me
    Haunted by the ghost of the girl I used to be
    But the rocks with holes are warm in my hands
    And I buried my toes in the hot hot sand
    And the silver pink pony kisses me and says
    You've come a long, long way and you deserve to be really happy"
    -Kimya Dawson- The Beer

    Have you ever woken up in the morning with a headache, the taste of stale alcohol in your mouth, and regret for everything you've ever done? Rose Lalonde has.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,336
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    2
  6. Tags
    Summary

    TG: wasnt this the time when jade showed up and finally got karkat to pull his head out of his ass
    CG: CAN WE PLEASE GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THE SUMMARIES?
    TG: oh yeah asshole id like to see you do better
    CG: CHALLENGE FUCKING ACCEPTED.
    CG: IN WHICH OUR PROTAGONIST, FACED WITH THE SHADOWY THREAT OF IMPENDING MORTALITY, HAS AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS, ARGUES WITH HIS OVERPROTECTIVE LUSUS, CONFRONTS HIS PAST, COURTS A NEW MOIRAIL, AND UNCOVERS HIS DESTINY. CONTAINS PORTRAYAL OF ILLNESS, A NUDE MINOR, XENOROMANCE, AND PUBLIC INEBRIATION.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,252
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    32
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Stranded on a meteor hurtling down an express lane of inter-dimensional time shenanigans, an inquisitive (and scientifically inspired) Rose gets caught in the webs of a disgruntled spider. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,322
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    56
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Flailkat:

    ~(ˆò A óˆ)~

    Sollux posts pictures of epic Karkat faces online, but what he intended to be funny is actually borderline pornographic. Oh shit...

    ...Oh well. It's a good thing Terezi is there to help turn this sordid situation into a Legitimate Business. This is a classy diamonds-only establishment. Of the law. And pre-order.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,542
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    161
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1097
  9. Tags
    Summary

    For the first time in her life Kanaya feels stranded in the very desert that's protected her for so long. Her growing pains and, growing affections cause her to leave her sheltered home and seek out civilization. In a world of strangers her relationships with others might save her life and, more importantly, her future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,096
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    21
  10. Tags
    Summary

    In which dave sees a sneak peek of the rich man's world and is mortified
    ______________________________________________________

    this is like gossip girl but BETTER

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,375
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    66
  11. Tags
    Summary

    College AU, the game never happened, Cal was never possessed so Bro is basically just adult!Dirk
    This is gonna be a slow build because I can never have enough exposition. Rating will probably change in later chapters.

    John is a freshman college student when he makes a new friend named Dave. Dave tells Bro all about John over Christmas break and piques his curiosity.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,589
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    117
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Dave Strider, a someone who doesn't have anything to do and doesn't give a shit about life except smoking, have tons of relationships, and being a broke douchebag.

    Karkat Vantas, a someone who does have something to do and give a slight shit about in life like drinking, working at a bar, and being grumpy every so often.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,803
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    351
  13. Tags
    Summary

    No Sburb. Nothing. Nada.

    Just Dirk, alone in the great wide sea, looking for the friends he'll never meet.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,651
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    16
  14. Tags
    Summary

    In a messed up version of Earth, trolls are slaves to humanity. Dave has always hated the idea of owning a troll, but when he sees one being tortured in public, he has to try and save it. He might have gotten a bit more than he bargained for when he gets Karkat however, and as Karkat slowly reveals his past, Dave's need to keep the troll safe only deepens.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,308
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    733
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Sollux Captor is going to university. He's hoping for a quiet time. But with Jake English, Dave Strider, and Eridan Ampora as his 'Roommates', sharing a living room and kitchen, he can forget any such hope. Eridan in particular seems determined to destroy that hope, with his crazy family and the chip on his shoulders. Add to this mix Dave's crazy siblings, including Rose, who befriends Eridan, the strange people in the university and all their batshit families, the Vantas brothers fighting almost constantly over Kankri's incident last term, and Eridan's secret and subsequent misbehaviour, and Sollux could be in for one hell of a ride.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,871
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    48
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    635
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Eridan never really expected much out of his high school career. He and his best friend had basically trudged through it together alone until their sophomore year, where friend circles grow and new kids barge into your territory. Unfortunately, one of these new kids is a tall, awkward nerd. And boy does Eridan have a thing for tall, awkward nerds.

    { alternatively titled: "everyone does a school AU at some point and you can only avoid it for so long". here's mine! guaranteed angst, awkward first dates and dumb kids bein' cute. }

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,130
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    368
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat didn't know what the hell they were trying to play at with this moirallegiance thing.
    That makes two of them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,088
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    20
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Reapers were not built to feel emotions. They were not built to love. Reapers were beings doomed to eternal suffering, never to taste the light of the warm human world. Hal knew this, and yet he still fell. He fell into colors of blue and green. Into hues of purple and orange. He drowned in the vivacious stream of human life, until he, himself, became too human.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,081
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    18
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat Vantas just left his old town and is the new guy now. He has to make new friends, get used to a new house, and a whole new town.
    This is the same story retold over a million times, but this time with some different details, the setting is throughout his Sophomore year in highshool, and up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,344
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    48
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Nobody cares about Dave Strider. If anyone cared, they would do something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,876
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    520

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