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Having your starting goalie turn into a toddler is the last thing a team expects to happen on a road trip.
Antti Niemi is de-aged to two years old, and, with his memory wiped, decides that Jason Demers is his parent-figure.
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Kaner's looking down at the kid, though, frowning. He crouches down. "Hey, kid, where are your parents?"
The kid's bottom lip juts out and starts wobbling. Fuck, that means he's going to start crying, right?
"Oh shi—oot, kid, don't cry," Kaner says. "I mean, if you don't know where they are, we can find 'em?"
"Kaner," Sharpy presses. "That's Saad."
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Tyler and Patrick have a baby together, and their lives are never the same. (INTENSE crack!fic. mpreg and ALL CAPS LOCK BECAUSE OF REASONS, and still in-progress-updates are added to the end of the 2nd chapter!)
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Sid's anxiety comes back, full force.
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i swear to you i won't stop until your legs are shaking and the neighbors know my name by end_rphin
Hockey RPF
19 May 2013
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Don't get Jonny wrong. He's happy that Patrick Kane finally scored his first playoff goal of the post-season, and he's very, very happy that they avoided giving that damn Howard, God forbid, a shutout. But it also meant Kaner won the bet, which Jonny was very, very sorry about.
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Tam Lin, if there was hockey, sad Geno, and Sidney Crosby.
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this is the year he has to turn it around.
(or, how kaner's mother prompted him to grow up and how he set some rules for himself.)
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The boys make good use of their couch. (That's all I got.)
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The thing is, Sid's filthy.
Or he's pretty sure he would be, if somebody would just give him a chance to be filthy.
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The first time Sid meets Geno, he isn’t Geno, he’s Evgeni Malkin, and he’s the enemy. Sid is so pumped up for the game he barely notices him. He doesn’t notice anything except hockey, and Malkin’s good, but that’s all he is.
He feels a tinge of sadness when Canada wins, but he guesses he just feels bad. Ovechkin’s not the only one crying, and Sid isn’t so unfeeling he doesn’t have some sympathy for how it must suck to lose. He also gets a headache when he flies back home, but he’s just really overtired is all.
He doesn’t think anything of it.
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"Why, you gonna come buy me a drink?"
“You want a Slow Comfortable Screw Against The Wall?” Brenden asks, smirking, and James has to swallow before he can answer.
“Nah. I’m more of a Screaming Orgasm kind of guy.”
Brenden’s eyes go hot, just for a second. “Good to know,” he murmurs, low enough for only James to hear, and fuck yes, it’s on tonight. Or it better be. If a hat trick doesn’t get him laid, then nothing will.
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Kane blows past Toews' D and circles around, looking for an opening... and he finds one, taking a hard slapper, and Toews gets a piece of that.
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“I was playing pond hockey,” he says, which, in retrospect, probably wasn’t the best thing to say after you’ve been smashed against the boards hard enough to be rendered unconscious.
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Leaving home behind and coming to Pittsburgh was overwhelming, but Evgeni Malkin was lucky in that he could always find someone else to talk to.
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Paul is still trying to put Taylor back together.
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six ways to say ‘i love you’: an experiment in feelings by cathedralhearts for armillarysphere
Hockey RPF
17 May 2013
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you and i were meant to be, ain’t no doubt about it.
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In which the gay bar is Stalberg's idea and Kaner doesn't notice Jon pretending to be his boyfriend.
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Kaner's sick. Lucky for him, Sharpy's here to help.
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i don't know where you're going but do you have room for one more by bessyboo for thisissirius
Hockey RPF
16 May 2013
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Jonny just blinks at him. “We’re moving in two days.”
Patrick raises his eyebrows. “And...you don’t have some interns who could do that for you?” He gestures at the boxes.
Jonny scowls, his face a mixture of indignation and desperation. “They kept doing it wrong!”
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This isn't the first time they've done this together, except in all the ways it kind of is.