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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Kili, thank Mahal was too tall, too slim and not interesting at all, so instead of being sold to the harem he was sent to the kitchens. There he led the life of safety, finding a purpose and striving to do his best. That is, until a certain prince decides he wants to meet the person who can run his huge kitchen and make the food better than anyone else in the world...

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,253
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    327
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Kili and Fili always wanted to have a place of their own, but is their new home a haven? Will those who want to get them find them? Will their suspicious neighbours bring danger in their neighbourhood?

    Short, tiny chapters ;) A new experiment. 1 comment = 1 chapter ;)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,424
    Chapters:
    59/?
    Comments:
    170
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    939
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The first night she came to his bed, he was still battle-weary.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,437
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    106
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    2991
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Couldn't help answering the prompt on valar-morekinks round 4: Jon/Sansa, show verse. Jon comes back from the dead feeling horny. Really, really horny.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,070
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1744
  5. Tags
    Summary

    What happens when the location of the most sought after bounty in the galaxy just falls into your lap?
    You take it and you fucking run with it, son.

    Let me take you on a magical journey through time and space and shitty cantinas. Well, maybe not time. This isn't Doctor fucking Who.

    We're just a lovable bunch of bounty hunters, assassins and smugglers; trying to make our way in the galaxy, picking off the competition, one moronic opponent at a time to get the job done and (most importantly) : Get paid.

    Let me show you what happens when you tangle with the Resistance, the Guavians and the crime lords who run the Corellian trade routes..... Oh, and the General of the First fucking Order.

    Think Guardians of the Galaxy with more swearing and sex and fewer talking racoons.

     

    Nalesse Du Sade, at your service.
    E 11 Blaster Rifle, knuckle duster, dagger and pussy.
    Sexually frustrated after twelve hours.
    I'm not a sex addict......
    I think.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,475
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    456
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    672
  6. Tags
    Summary

    REBOOT OF MY STORY THAT I ORPHANED

    Robb wakes up one morning with knots in his stomach. All the Stark children can feel it: something's about to change. The same day their father announces that their estranged half-brother Jon Snow will be coming to live with them following the death of his mother. The minute Robb sees Jon, he's in love. Who couldn't love that curly haired, pouty lipped bastard?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,066
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    2100
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Destiel au set in UK

    John Winchester walked out on his wife and young son four years ago, completely devastating them both. Now living in England with his new wife, Kate and their two children, Sam and Adam, he is content with his new life as a doting father. Dean is now sixteen, and on a one man mission to destroy his life, having never healed from the pain his father`s betrayal left him with. He is drinking too much, mixed up with the wrong crowd and is on his way to being kicked out of every school in Kansas. He has had more last chances than can be counted, and although he tries, he just keeps screwing up. At her wits end, Mary sends him off to live with his absent father, which only further drives a wedge between the two of them.

    He arrives all guns blazing, prepared to be the child from hell.
    A dark haired stranger he meets on the beach might just be what he needs to begin to move on and finally let the past be the past.
    He isn`t looking for friendship, let alone love, but Castiel might just be able to help him forgive and forget and make a new life over in England.

    Yes, just as cliché as it sounds, but hopefully a bit of fun.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    101,813
    Chapters:
    46/?
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    39
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Jon confronts Sansa about her conversation with Littlefinger. She sets him straight.
    Written for the prompt: How about…. they meet in the Godswood after that creepy scene with Littlefinger and Sansa tells Jon about what LF said to her. She then says she has no desire to sit beside anyone but him.if you wanna go smutty, I’m totally here for some up-against-the-weirwood-tree action, but also happy with just UST/ platonic interaction.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,384
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    112
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2924
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Fate is a fickle thing. Time and time again, the Once and Future King has woken from her slumber to aid her country in its time of need. The World could not refuse her plea, her prophecy, but it has entered a never-ending loop as a result. Fed up, Alaya sends one of her dogs to fetch the key to a new Guardian.

    Slow build, gritty topics.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    87,762
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    116
    Kudos:
    86
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    3568
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Sam, Dean, and Isabel survived Eve, triumphed even. But Sam's mind is unstable, Isabel's pregnancy is making her increasingly moody, and Dean is just trying to figure out how to keep his family safe. Castiel's shit with Purgatory and the Leviathans was the last thing he needed.

    Then Sam vanished.

    It would be so easy for Dean to find him, but suddenly Isabel's a wanted woman and the Leviathans are setting up for dinner. Dean needs time, but babies and supernatural beings of evil aren't known for being accommodating.

    He needs Sam. They need Sam, but his little brother seems determined not to be saved.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,967
    Chapters:
    3/15
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    530
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Harley Torrance's parents died in a "home invasion" when she was three. She was adopted by a nice couple and things seemed well...until she was four and started performing magic. For ten years she remained under the radar until she concocts a potion to get revenge on a bully when she is fourteen.
    It is then that a Concealment Charm is lifted from her and she gets two visitors at her home: Albus Dumbledore and Rubeus Hagrid. Harley is a witch, and she is about to embark on a deadly, heart-breaking journey alongside the most famous and infamous students and staff at Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry.

    (Takes place starting with "Chamber Of Secrets" and through post-canon.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,916
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    55
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    862
  12. Tags
    Summary

    This is a collection of all the fic I've written for my secondary blog on tumblr, truealphastakeitupthebutt. Most of my stories are very NSFW and some have triggering material! Please heed the tags! I hope you enjoy~

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    136,261
    Chapters:
    198/198
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    85
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    8867
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Solona Amell is a bitter and angry young mage. Since the age of four, she has been abandoned by or taken from everyone she loves. But after being conscripted into the Grey Wardens, she finds solace in her duty, newfound friends, and long lost family. With the help of a handsome young warrior, her twin sister, and a dashing pirate captain named Garrett, the Heroes of Ferelden will face both the Blight and the future together.

    Part One of Book One of Kings and Queens of Promise

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    179,899
    Chapters:
    50/?
    Comments:
    400
    Kudos:
    87
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1214
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Professional wizard Harry Dresden thought his life was complicated when all he had to worry about was hiding his less-than-platonic feelings for his half-brother, Thomas. Then he gets a call from a Warden of the White Council: a warlock is coming to Chicago to work a spell powered by human sacrifice, and it falls to Harry to stop it. To make matters worse, Detective Murphy of Chicago PD wants his help on a theft that seems to have been committed with magic. Harry is sure the two cases are somehow linked, and he, Thomas, and Murphy will have to work fast to uncover the connection in time to stop the warlock.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    122,681
    Chapters:
    18/18
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    506
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of Boltoncest drabbles. Includes several different ships.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,084
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    48
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1704
  16. Tags
    Summary

    ***Season 6 spoilers***
    After the Battle of the Bastards, Jon and Sansa help heal each others' wounds.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,907
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    201
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    4744
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Boys in the land had started disappearing. People have no clue why, but little do they know there's mansion deep in the woods where a duke resides. His charisma charming men and boys, luring them to the mansion to dance in his harem.

    "In darkness dyed the colour of libido, the infinite pleasure never ends
    Understanding all there is to the fantasy, I'm no longer what makes a person
    Disobeying God with depravity, this is the night of madness I had hoped for." - Dance With Asmodeus, Gakupo Kamui.

    *WARNINGS INSIDE.*

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,714
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    152
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Set in the ancient Indus valley civilization.
    Jensen is the omega prince of Mohenjo-Daro, who is too beautiful to look at. His father makes him wear a mask so that he can stay protected from the eyes of the dangerous and horny alphas.
    But fate takes a turn when the powerful and ruthless commander in chief Jared gets his eyes on Jensen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,721
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1049
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Inu(Seme) / Sess(Uke) (Mostly.) This is the story from the Inuyasha's POV.

    After a dark turn of events resulting in Inuyasha begging Sesshomaru to kill Kagome things continue to go downhill. The inability to control mental links is the least of Inuyasha’s problems.
    Trust issues abound, someone is trying to kill him, his pack is in danger again and his true mate is revealed but he has more problems than Inuyasha.

    A/N: I may, in fact, be insane. Read the tags.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,865
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    879
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When the King comes north to Winterfell, the Starks expect to play host to the Lannisters. Instead they are introduced to his bastard son. None but Ned, the Hand and the King really know the true reason why.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,198
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    201
    Kudos:
    561
    Bookmarks:
    152
    Hits:
    28207

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