1 - 20 of 45 Works in Felix Being a Dick

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    AU in which Felix works at a flower shop and Bridgette works at a tattoo parlor. Mature for language and possible mature themes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,336
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    78
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Donut was very observant when it came to the relationships status of all his friends (he doesn't need basebook for all of that), and so when he noticed how most of them are single all the time (like Wash) or are in terrible relationships (like Felix), or just need someone to give them compliments every morning (like Simmons), he decides to solve it in the most simplest way possible:

    SECRET SANTA GIFT EXCHANGES!

    And because of how observant he is, he knows exactly who goes with who. Nothing will ruin his plan. Nope. Nothing at all.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,076
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    41
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Wash wakes up buried alive in a coffin. In a race against time, the team searches for him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,401
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    311
  4. Tags
    Summary

    For Tucker, the ocean was a big, deep and mostly boring place to live. Then David Washington literally fell into his life.

    For the Red vs Blue Reverse Big Bang 2017 on Tumblr. Companion art by OrangeCookieKay.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,519
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    57
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    457
  5. Tags
    Summary

    After the war, Locus ends up spending his days on Hawaii, where he meets Kai and Grif. Nothing will ever be the same.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,192
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    185
    Kudos:
    192
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    1528
  6. Tags
    Summary

    He can feel a gun being pressed to the back of his head. But when he turns around, hands raised in surrender, there’s no one.

    Felix and Locus struggle with life in and after the UNSC.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,345
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    75
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    936
  7. Tags
    Summary

    ‘I’m watching the Bachelorette,’ said Felix, ‘-and eating my feelings.'

    Occasionally, life isn't so serious.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,849
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    298
  8. Tags
    Summary

    ‘So is old habit a euphemism for wild sex?’

    Felix gets to see a different side of first name Agent last name Washington.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,071
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    253
  9. Tags
    Summary

    ‘I slaved for hours over breakfast, the least you can do is eat it. What’s wrong with you?!’

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    45
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    307
  10. Tags
    Summary

    This is, without doubt, the most fucked up thing that has ever happened to him.  Par none.  Felix glowers down at his newly shaven groin and the glossy chrome wrapping his penis root to tip, locking his cock limp and useless.  Because his partners are the worst.

    In which Felix is a dick and his partners punish him accordingly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,184
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    755
  11. Tags
    Summary

    “Welcome to the end 'Nessa,” Felix says with a venomous grin. “I’m so glad you lived to witness it.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,832
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    113
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    808
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Additional adventures of the Donut Family in the various universes.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,029
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    139
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1779
  13. Tags
    Summary

    They couldn't know, right? No one could know, he didn’t even suspect it until that morning, when he'd seen his box of tampons between bouts of nausea.

     

    A war zone is no place for a child.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,927
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    70
    Kudos:
    160
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    2715
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Gunshot.
    Felix falls.
    But it's not Felix who gets back up.
    The Meta charges, nothing but memory and code and rage, and Tucker has a moment to really appreciate just how much he's fucked up before hands are around his throat and all he tastes is blood.

    Or
    AU where the mercenaries and the Reds and Blues are freelancers

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,834
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    35
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    351
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “You never had an AI try to kill itself in your head,” Wash said with an unusual fretfulness to his words. His hands are white-knuckled around his third cup of coffee. “I know what I’m talking about when it comes to stupid decisions being made for you because of someone else’s personal bullshit, Tucker. It’s best to just move on. Don’t forget. Just move the fuck on.”

    Chorus is, as always, a fun, fun place.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,743
    Chapters:
    1/20
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    566
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Maybe Felix needs to re-evaluate his prison survival strategy...
    Written for RvB Rare Pair Week

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    770
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    111
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The Temple of Procreation might sound fun in theory, but in practice it's a nightmare.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,772
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    44
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    926
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Tucker's horny and hates Felix. Felix is horny and hates Tucker. Cue sexytimes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    547
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    320
  19. Tags
    Summary

    The thing with Lavernius Tucker is—

    Well, Felix doesn’t know what the fuck the thing with Lavernius Tucker is, nor why everyone on this goddamn base is so—so enamored with him. It’s infuriating, the way the cadets follow him around like little ducklings, the way Kimball talks to him as if he’s worthy of anyone’s respect. He’s not even that good of a fighter, or a leader for that matter. Felix just doesn’t get it.

    Until—

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,556
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    128
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1270
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Felix gets some alone time and checks in with Locus after the skirmish at Crash Site Bravo.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,625
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    1060

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