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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Join the infamous Strider Brothers as they set sail on the ocean blue, battling against Jake English, a notorious Royal Navy officer known for executing pirates. However, when Dirk makes the wrong decision, he ends up a sex slave for Commodore English. As war wages on the seven seas, Dirk becomes increasingly closer to Jake, helping him with Naval affairs and a birthday party for the King. Jake eventually enlists in Dirk's captaining skills and they embark on a journey that ends in pain and hatred. Friends, family, and lovers are injured and hurt, killed in battle or hung at the neck. The King is dead and has no "living' heirs. Who will take the throne after the King is hung for implied treason? Certainly not Dirk Strider, even if he is the King's son.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,952
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3021
  2. Tags
    Summary

    "Why do my dates go so wroooong!" John moaned, flopping onto the end of Dave's bed. Dave's eyebrows had sky-rocketed, lost in his hairline forever. "It'd be nice if I could have one date, you know?"

    Dave knew. And Dave said nothing.

    -- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 7:45am --

    TT: Would I be correct in saying John's 'friend'ship isn't exactly what you want?
    TG: no
    TG: maybe
    TG: shut up rose

    ~

    John finds it hard to date. Dave finds love confessions hard. But when John's birthday rolls around, and Dave is having trouble finding a present - he comes up with a great idea that maybe doesn't benefit him at all. In the slightest. John will be happy, and Dave will be miserable, but as long as he likes his present, why does it matter?

    Typical college kids doing typical college things. Dating, cute boys being adorable and a lot of heartache in between. The one that actually doesn't have DaveJohn in the way you're hoping.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,256
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    528
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Tony Stark is not Willie Wonka, even if he has the last of the Oompa Loompas (Trolls) in his basement.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,420
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    188
    Kudos:
    250
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    2746
  4. Tags
    Summary

    You know sometimes when you die,you get another chance?

    Well that was just that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,276
    Chapters:
    17/?
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    283
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Popular amongst humans and trolls alike, the show Guardians of Earth is being translated into Alternian. Dirk and Karkat strongly disagree about how their favorite ship (Dad/Alpha Dave) will be interpreted in the official dub.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,976
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    155
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Amazing summer discount! Get twelve trolls for the price of ONE!!*

      *Includes two (2) psionics, one (1) animal communer, one (1) mind controller, one (1) chuckle-voodo clown cultist, one (1) ex-heiress to the throne, five (5) non-psychics with varying abilities, and one (1) mutant troll with nothing and everything to lose. Customer satisfaction not guaranteed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,188
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    35
    Kudos:
    203
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    3598
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Heather Jacobs, and you are Skaia High's official new kid. Now why does that sound familiar to you?

    This is an experiment in rewriting old fanfic to make a better story, complete with commentary and tips.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,151
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    18
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Living and growing up on the streets is hard, especially when you're broke. Some make it out better than others, and some not so much. Especially not the Sufferer's. They have it the worse. When the Condescenders come in and make Hell a living thing for them, things get very intense and real, especially when the Condescenders' leader goes missing. Fingers get pointed at the wrong people and toes will be stepped on.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,929
    Chapters:
    5/30
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    207
  9. Tags
    Summary

    All odds are against Sollux as he spends the next couple months of his life struggling to get back on track.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,927
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    47
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Highschool sucks. Getting picked on constantly sucks even more. Karkat Vantas' life has never been anywhere near perfect. With his father's trial pending, he and his brother are left to fend for themselves in a new city. But could A certain sweet cat-girl melt this crab's bitter heart? In the Emerald City, anything is possible.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,921
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    535
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat Vantas is a Demon. He has been stalking the human, Dave Strider, for a couple of months now on his Demon Gogolgy. (Gogolgy means line of work). He starts to have some crazy kinky as fuck dreams about him and soon everyone knows. He becomes more of an outcast than usual and is forced to chose between his Demon Race and the Strider who he hates/loves.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,801
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    100
  12. Tags
    Summary

    My bonus round fills on behalf of Team Palepitch.

    See headers for warnings

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,779
    Chapters:
    35/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    44
    Hits:
    942
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Karkat Vantas does not like company. Unfortunately for him, he can't seem to get rid of the strange alien girl he finds on his doorstep. It's only because of her blood color though, he wouldn't actually take care of her because he cared about her or anything. Not at all.
    Especially when she starts attracting the attention of genocidal trolls.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,651
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1609
  14. Tags
    Summary

    One does not escape from Her Imperious Condescension's ship. This goes double if one is a powerful psionic directly descended from the current engine.

    It's hard to have infamous Ancestors. It's hard, and nobody understands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,395
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    330
  15. Tags
    Summary

    This may or may not become a story, but for now it's a one-shot about Cronus being a vampire with an incubus roommate Kankri who hasn't fed in a month.
    Shenanigans ensue.
    All of the shenanigans.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,167
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    539
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Wonderland
    More like Fuckthisshitiwanttogohomeland
    Jade Harley and Terezi Pyrope have to go to the City of Emerald Hearts and Bloody Spades so they can leave Wonderland.
    The problem is getting out in one piece.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,130
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    37
  17. Tags
    Summary

    In a world where humans and trolls live together, there is little peace to be found. Those who once reigned on high have been put to work under the human menace. Those with the closest blood to humans are the only seen fit to have a choice.

    Karkat Vantas is an inspector of sorts. After several sweeps of seeing nobody familiar, he finds himself face-to-face with the most appalling sight he's ever seen--and after SGRUB, that's saying something.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,144
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    960
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A boy is created with half human and half troll DNA. He has incredible power and his goal is to unite the two worlds and keep the peace.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,675
    Chapters:
    27/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    22
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    380
  19. Tags
    Summary

    All my written fills for the seventh bonus round of the 2014 HSWC. Some of these go into potentially upsetting topics, but relevant warnings for each of the stories are listed in the notes at the beginning of each chapter.

    These fills were written as remixes of other people's fills for previous rounds of HSWC. Links to the original inspirations will be included in chapter notes.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,408
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    472
  20. Tags
    Summary

    So, Dave is lonely. He's an egotistical bastard with no friends, no life and no way of living. He only really contacts his sister Rose and when he does interact people its usually because he picked them up at the club he's DJ'ing. But, these new pets going around are all the range. Trolls. Everyone is trying to get one but no one wants the bad mouthed horrible little red blood. Everyone that is, except for Dave. The only reason he gets him is because he's cheap. But then he starts to fall in love with him. It's an illegal relationship and nothing is allowed to happen except friendship and slavery. Slavery is completely different than doing things with feelings. Well, Dave decides to tell Karkat too late about his feelings. The small Troll runs away and bad things happen.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,494
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    11
    Hits:
    114

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