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  1. Tags
    Summary

    If you throw a frog into a pot of boiling hot water it will jump out, but if set it in cold water and slowly heat it up it will stay until it dies. This is how abusive relationships begin.

    __

    Bilbo had been happy, he knew that. He was frankly surprised when this god of a man asked him out to dinner after a coincidental run in at the market, but after two years he didn't know if he stayed out of fear or because he didn't know any way out.
    That was until a man with dazzling blue eyes picked him up on the side of the road after one of Smaug's outbursts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,682
    Chapters:
    7/?
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    165
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1996
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Short summary: Gays in space!

    Longer summary: After his first successful solo mission, Jedi Knight Bilbo Baggins, trained by High Council member and full-time nuisance, Master Gandalf, returns to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. During an excursion to the sparring arena, he meets a group of Dwarven Jedi from Ered Luin, a mountainous planet located in the Outer Rim. Young padawans, Fili and Kili, are full of curiosity at this strange, barefoot Jedi, but Master Thorin, who appears to have the personality of a rancor and mental shields like blast doors, is less than impressed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,973
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    62
    Kudos:
    63
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    386
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Fíli and Kíli have spent decades searching for the last piece of their hearts, but meeting Bilbo is just the beginning of the tale. Because hobbits believe in love, not destiny and someone else catches their burglar's eye.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,376
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    68
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    975
  4. Tags
    Summary

    It's never a good idea to insult Nori. Nope. Not a good idea at all.

    This fic was won by Islandkate (lazysaturdayonthebeach) in the Gathering FiKi Winter FRE 2017 contest. Her prompt was a link to the marvelous Hattedhedgehog's Tumblr and...

     

    this hysterically funny series of cartoons by Hattedhedgehog

     

    Please check out the link because the art and joke are more than worth the click!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,758
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    67
  5. Tags
    Summary

    [ middle earth neighborhood au ]

    twinbrook is an infamous quaint and quiet town on the outskirts of what is referred to as 'middle-earth'. nothing dramatic ever happens in twinbrook, but when various parties of twinbrook residents get involved in scuffles, everything changes. these are the stories of the families and the events that change twinbrook.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,506
    Chapters:
    48/?
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    3690
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Fili is a poor student who decides to mend his budget doing a very shady profession, together with his friends they begin filming gay porn... One day a proposition comes in, and someone is ready to pay a small fortune for just a night with him... Who is the strange young man who comes into his life?

    A mix of many of my old ideas, so you get Erebor - as the super powerful Corporation. Smaug as the super tank car, and many more my readers will recognise from my old writings... And of course ZOMBIES! We just need more of those ;)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,378
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    725
  7. Tags
    Summary

    In Goblin Town, Thorin offers himself in Kili's place to protect his nephew from torture. However, Goblins are not that easy to fool and even when the Goblin agrees to the substitution it is not enough to prevent Fili and Kili's participation or to save them from mental scarring. In the aftermath of what happened in Goblin Town, tensions that had been simmering between the three for nearly seven decades come to a head. Even though they survived the goblins, will things ever go back to how they were before? Or will things remain irreparably broken?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    213,003
    Chapters:
    60/?
    Comments:
    561
    Kudos:
    351
    Bookmarks:
    51
    Hits:
    16546
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Dwalin Fundin/Ori Ri, Dwalin/Ori, Dwori, Balin Fundin/Dori Ri, Balin/Dori, Darlin. Soon Nori/Bofur, Eventual Fili/Sigrid, and Kili/Tauriel, Several OC dwarrows. Eventual Thorin Oakenshield/Bilbo Baggins, Thilbo, Bagginshield,
    Ori of the Brothers Ri is a freelance scribe in the poorest part of the City of Dale. He rushes to rescue his trouble-making elder brother Nori and finds a life, romance and food in the Mountain among royalty. Dori has secrets! And there’s nothing like a fairy-tale of scandal and lost nobility! The story is completely from Ori’s point of view. Expect appearances from Thror, Frerin (who is an utterly spoiled brat - apologies to Frerin worshipers), Lady Galadriel, Thranduil and practically everyone else. This is totally safe for Dain fans!
    Smaug never hatched and Isildur listened to Elrond (somebody has to) and the one Ring no longer exists. Sauron is just a bad guy with orc armies.
    There are some serious bits, but mostly it’s just a lively romp with food. Did we mention the food?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    226,464
    Chapters:
    49/?
    Comments:
    270
    Kudos:
    178
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    5071
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Prompt 5: The oldie, but goodie: one night stand leads to pregnancy au?

    Only the last chapters has MCD

    Done:
    1. Anthea/Sebastian Moran
    2. Omegaverse John/Sherlock
    3. Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler
    4. Sherlock Holmes/Sally Donovan
    5. Molly/Greg
    6. Potential Mycroft/Greg, but Post Ex Wife
    7. John/Jim
    8. Molly/Greg
    9. Meryl/Vash
    10. Greg/ex + Greg/Mycroft
    11. Ori/Dwalin
    12. Bilbo/Thorin
    13. Sandra Watson
    14. Draco/Hermione
    15. Hermione Granger/Marcus Flint
    16. Bilbo/Thorin
    17. Omegaverse Max Lewinsky/Jacob Sternwood
    18. Javier Suarez/Katey Miller
    19. Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes
    20. Zoe Washburne/Wash Washburne

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,647
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    105
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    5160
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Sur la route menant aux Monts de Fer, Belladonne meurt en couches après s'être réfugiée dans le royaume dévasté d'Erebor. Son fils, Bilbon, est élevé par Smaug. Quand Thorin et sa Compagnie arrivent à Erebor pour reprendre leur maison, ils découvrent avec surprise qu'un hobbit y vit déjà

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    19,328
    Chapters:
    9/15
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    164
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbon Sacquet rejoint la cour des nains pour sauver celui qu'il aime. Il se retrouve mêlé à un complot visant à renverser le trône, entouré de nains qui jouent les marieurs et d'intriguants magiciens. Sans parler d'un dragon...

    Language:
    Français
    Words:
    64,226
    Chapters:
    16/22
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    188
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo is a cashier at a store and Thorin is a customer who always comes and buys condoms. Bilbo gets the wrong idea of this and Thorin is sooo embarrassed

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,529
    Chapters:
    2/3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    172
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1755
  13. Tags
    Summary

    A mysterious voice in the deep.
    A piece of history long forgotten.
    A Mountain of trouble.
    A Forest of Darkness.

    With a little understanding, many things might be different in the lives of the Children of Mahal.

     

    For Azi, who always loved a good story and enjoyed the previews enough for me to post it here. I hope you like it, ye crazy Scotsman!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    165,198
    Chapters:
    21/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    626
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Queen Belledonna Baggins II (or Belle) wife of the bastard King Smaug has been taken by the heathen longships. She has been ripped from one nightmare of a life and thrust into another. Follow her and others as they battle for survival, revenge and, if the gods allow it, love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,388
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    118
    Kudos:
    200
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    3740
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Our story takes place right after the battle of five armies, Bilbo finds Thorin laying a pool of his on blood on the battlefield and Thorin is on the brick of dying, and Bilbo tries to confess his feelings for his dwarf king but he slips away before Bilbo got the chance to tell Thorin he loves him. Bilbo passes out moments later and when he awakens in what seems to be a tent, he could never prepare himself for the news he was about to get.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,963
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    50
    Kudos:
    42
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1069
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Bilbo is a Skin-Changer and Gandalf chooses him as a Burglar for Thorin's Company. After some reluctance, Bilbo agrees to help them with their quest, but he quickly realises that it is a dangerous road to travel down when there is a pretty price sitting on the head of one of the last living Skin-Changers in Middle Earth...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,536
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    191
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    2016
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Modern post-apocalyptic AU. Ori is travelling through a ravaged country, hoping to reach a rumored safe-haven, when he meets three other travellers. Will they manage to get past their differences to reach their goal? Will be slash.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,748
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    152
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1580
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Nymeria has always known who she was. Or so she thought The orphaned dwarf girl the eleven king took pity on after the attack of smaug the terrible. Thranduil had taken the small dwarf girl and raised her as his own alongside his son. Spending the years training with the elves, the king grants her permission to travel when she is found by Gandalf, and offered a place on a troop of dwarves dead set on taking the mountain back from the fiery beast. How will she react when she learns who her real father is? Will she stay loyal to the eleven king who took her as his own or will she seek to learn more about the grouchy, irritable, majestic man she now knows to be her birth father? Even more so, how will Thorin react when he finds that after all these years his beautiful little daughter didn't perish in the fires after all? That she is perhaps a more capable leader, even than him?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,140
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    244
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Filled with a lifetime of aches and regrets that he knew was never going to go away, Bilbo resigned himself to dying in the Undying Lands without any sense of closure. Until Yavanna stepped in with the offer of a second chance to save the Royal Line of Durin.

    But there's a catch... Bilbo has to do it all as a six-and-a-half-inches tall fairy!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,389
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    431
    Bookmarks:
    136
    Hits:
    10050
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Thorin son of Thrain Crowned Prince Under the Mountain has two months to marry before he will be forced into an arranged marriage that could ruin Erebor. Though he secretly yearns for a love match a month of balls and feasts are a formidable obstacle for a dwarf with little patience for pageantry and courtiers. It will take the help of his loved ones, friends and a unlikely hobbit to help Thorin find his heart's match before time runs out.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,748
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    102
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    959

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