1 - 20 of 32 Works in Draco Malfoy is Clueless About Muggle Things

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    After the war, Draco Malfoy was given a choice.
    But what no one knew was that the Veil is more complicated than Severus Snape, more enigmatic than Albus Dumbledore, and as unpredictable as those Weasley Twins.
    Now Draco is trapped amidst horrifyingly advanced muggles, without a wand or a prayer. All he has are his wits, a surfeit of trust issues, scars and tattoos he'd rather not explain, and a raging case of xenophobia.
    Then the aliens attack...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,193
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    115
    Kudos:
    240
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    2368
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Hermione Granger's life becomes plagued by a violent stalker. Per request of the Ministry, Britain's brightest war heroine seeks refuge inside the one location where she's entirely untouchable.

    (**WINNER: Dramione FF Spring Awards for Best Hurt/Comfort Fic**)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,799
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    252
    Bookmarks:
    68
    Hits:
    4232
  3. Tags
    Summary

    I have a neighbour. He is stuck in a loveless relationship and an arranged marriage. He has zero experience in bed. He needs my help so that his love life won't suck for the next few decades. He needs a sex teacher.
    Oh... and the neighbour happens to be Draco freaking Malfoy.
    And I might be a little tiny bit in love with the git...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,111
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    100
    Kudos:
    180
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    4664
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Harry and Hermione were muggle born raised, going into the Wizardry World was a huge shock for both. But it was a good thing they wern't the only ones Clueless, but Harry has to admit he can't make his years fun without slipping a some Muggle reference. To bad he didn't realize in the Wizardry World takes everything serious.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,316
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    158
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3297
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Vanessa Sterling is a blood traitor, and should be hated for it. Coincidentally, for the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy is having issues with hating people.

    Or: it's Fifth Year, and Draco, for some reason, cannot stop falling in love. Updates every Friday.

    Book One here!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,028
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    335
  6. Tags
    Summary

    After six months of living together, it's finally time for Draco to accompany Harry on his weekly grocery shopping trip. Draco is fascinated by Tesco, and even more fascinated by the Muggle products. Harry realizes that this grocery trip is going to take much more effort than usual.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,176
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    148
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    1328
  7. Tags
    Summary

    How To Be A Malfoy (by Draco Malfoy):

    1. Malfoys are not weak.

    2. Malfoys are never late.

    3. Malfoys always know what to say.

    4. Malfoys are the priority.

    5. In the case of Essa Sterling, this list has been declared null.

    Or: the summer before Fifth Year, Draco meets someone that makes him smile too much and care too little. Complete, under edit.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,296
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    856
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “And in that moment, Draco knows. He knows that all his deep-rooted suspicions about Harry’s childhood are terribly, horribly true.”

    As their relationship grows, so do Draco’s misgivings about Harry’s past.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,610
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    66
    Kudos:
    767
    Bookmarks:
    156
    Hits:
    7185
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Narcissa was not going to let her baby fly in blind. So, in desperation to protect her child from Voldemort and his evil she does the unthinkable. She reaches out to a very old friend who happens to be a master spy and a superhero to boot.

    Draco is in one hell of a ride. Being thrown into the muggle world without any experience? Check. Being alone in a building full of strangers? Check. Having to act and think like a muggle? That will stay unchecked for the foreseeable future...

    OR

    Where Narcissa is having none of Lucius and the magical world's shit and decides to take matter into her own hands even if it means Draco has to become a muggle superhero to do it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,012
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    158
    Kudos:
    393
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    7621
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After the Battle of Hogwarts, things for Harry Potter should have gotten better. Some how they have gotten worse. The nightmares haven't changed, just more vivid with more faces. He couldn't stand social interaction and touching. He just couldn't stand his thoughts or the crushing guilt that was all but drowning him. He has a house he doesn't want, no job or career and is completely at lost to what to do with his life.

    Draco Malfoy is currently in hell. That is all he can think of. Muggle Hell. His life is currently falling apart and not just because his entire family has been sentenced to live like Muggles. He didn't know what he had been thinking when he had thrown Harry his wand. He had been stupid. All he could hear was Pansy screaming at him, his mother's terrified look and his father's disgusted one. He couldn't sleep at night and the guilt of such a stupid decision ate at him. He had thrown away his future, his friends, his education, all for what? On a gamble that stupid saint potter would be the end of it all, finally?

    They both were completely surprised when they recieved a letter from Hogwarts at the end of summer inviting them to redo their final year and graduate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,240
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    3023
  11. Tags
    Summary

    When a weekend with Harry gets purchased at a Bachelor charity auction by Malfoy, he's sure the trip is going to be filled with disaster.

    And it is. It really is.

    Just... maybe not in the ways he thought.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    28,487
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    170
    Kudos:
    1156
    Bookmarks:
    247
    Hits:
    13761
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Draco becomes an apprentice Auror in hopes of atoning for some of his past mistakes. The job is a lot more than he bargained for, never mind being assigned to work with Harry bloody Potter. Well, if he could survive Voldemort, he can survive an internship under a git with a hero complex. ...At least until everything goes to hell, and he finds himself trapped with Harry in Grimmauld Place, with nothing else to keep him company but his own demons. Maybe Harry can help with that if Draco will just freaking trust him, damn it!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,242
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1367
  13. Tags
    Summary

    "Malfoy is somewhat of an influential name in the wizarding world. You think that the girls don't like him? He's rich, he'll clearly grow up to be somebody. He's a pureblood. Almost every girl in Slytherin damn well thinks she's in love with him. And the girls in Slytherin aren't the nicest. Not all of them are like that, but most of them will resort to unpleasant things to get their way."

    Neia Fide is new to Hogwarts. It's about a month into the semester when the famous singer is transferred to Hogwarts by the Agency. She's sorted into Slytherin, and that's when the crazy fun begins... but fun only lasts so long. How long until the rumors of Voldemort come to the surface? How is Neia connected to him? What are these memories she sees in her dreams? How much longer before the darkness that is Voldemort consumes her every thought and waking moment?

    Darkness has penetrated the fortified halls of Hogwarts, darkness that nobody could have ever even guessed existed. But this darkness has a choice. Two paths. Which path will it take...?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,710
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    138
  14. Tags
    Summary

    After having his wand taken away and exiled to the muggle world following the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy struggles to come to grips with his punishment, redefine himself, and figure out how to operate that blasted vacuum cleaner. Who knew being a muggle was so difficult?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,318
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    250
  15. Tags
    Summary

    It was his fault she was spending their first Valentine's Day in St. Mungo's.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    993
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    646
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “And what sort of recordings exactly does it play?”

    “Sirius had a bunch of eighties muggle stuff,” Harry told him with a beaming smile, “some of the stuff even I know! Led Zeppelin, and Judas Priest…”

    “Judas who?"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,186
    Chapters:
    1/3
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    3
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Alexandria Nettles is stuck at Hogwarts castle for Christmas. So is Draco Malfoy. Here ensues a little Christmas romance.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    941
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    98
  18. Tags
    Summary

    After Draco accidentally owes Harry a favor, Harry decided to ask him for tutoring. They become study buddies.

    (yeah i dunno if im gonna continue this.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,934
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    445
  19. Tags
    Summary

    "Draco Malfoy, I swear to Merlin, you have got to be having a laugh," Hestia replied, leaning against the door.
    "Hes"
    "It's Sunday, Draco. It's God's day, the day of rest. Let me go back to bed please."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,578
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    88
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Draco and Harry at home at Halloween, talking Donald and Hillary. -

    This one-shot fits into the Fairies, Fathers, and Forevers AU, but it works as a standalone.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,166
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    875

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