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Captain Fantastic and the Pineapple King by brainless_scarecrow
Fandoms: Captain America - All Media Types
26 Aug 2016
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Summary
Shit.
She hadn't noticed him yet. Maybe he could turn and leave without them noticing – Sam would understand. Sam was the most empathetic person he knew. He wouldn’t scold Steve for coming home spice-less to avoid an awkward encounter with an ex. Surely.
They drew closer.
Fuck.
Please don't notice me, please don't notice me, please don't notice me...
"Steve?"
Fuck.
In which Steve is saved from his ex in a grocery store, Bucky Barnes is Way Too Chill about absolutely everything, and Sam has had enough of all of these goddamn pineapples in his fucking house.
Or: The five times Steve received a pineapple (and one Piña Colada) and the one time he didn't