1 - 20 of 683 Works in Dirty Jokes

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Steve… you’ve got tent pants.” Steve furrows his eyebrows and chances a look at Bucky’s crotch before he looks back at his face.

    “So, do you, jerk.”

    “Why don’t you just take care of it?”

    “I’m… kinda used to it goin’ away. Or not having to take care of it myself.”

    “We could… take care of it together, y’know…” Bucky suggests with a quirk of his eyebrow.

    “Or I could just go to the shower and take care of it myself,” Steve suggests instead, but he makes no move to make good on his words.

    “Or we could just kill two birds with one stone. Or two boners with a few faps, to be more precise.”

    It makes Steve laugh. He turns his head towards Bucky, his smile slowly fading. Bucky watches him intently for any reaction.



    Or: Steve fucked a dude that looks a lot like Bucky. Things happen that cause Steve and Bucky to grow apart, which is wearing off on both of them. Steve wants to carve out a new life for himself and Bucky has to deal with it and also with the fact that Steve finds himself a super hot boyfriend at the most inopportune time.

    Ensue a lot of angst, unholy amount of pining and not entirely failed attempts at seduction.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    69,665
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    30
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    565
  2. Tags
    Summary

    No one killed eachother, and Monokuma's pissed. So instead of a Killing Game, he makes them 'kiss-kiss fall in love' instead. But can you really count that as despair? Or maybe...something else?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,436
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    566
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Upon discovering his archenemy is actually a horcrux in the graveyard following his resurrection, Voldemort decides to create a different plan for his domination of Wizarding Britain. What he did not account for was his horcrux being so... desirable, nor how difficult it would be to finally get a piece of that ass.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,271
    Chapters:
    1/2
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    628
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Roderigo being Roderigo...at Iago's and Emilia's wedding.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,333
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    4
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Takes place between events in chapter 90 of the manga. Hange, now commander of Survey Corps, commissions Captain Levi to scout territory in the mountains to search for a supply tower she believes may still be stocked. The scouts need all the supplies and currency they can get in order to carry on with their goals. Against his better judgment, Levi joins her on this excursion. The bitter, early winter makes their mission harder than expected, however. The pair find themselves relying on each other to survive, and they find it increasingly difficult to treat one another as comrades in arms and nothing more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,875
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    70
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    530
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Sean Conlon, future King of Brooklyn, hates his life for more reason than one.
    1. He didn't exactly choose to be royalty, and doesn't want to be.
    2. His parents arranged a marriage with Jack Pulitzer, future King of Manhattan, a guy he's never met.
    3. While staying in the Manhattan palace, he falls for someone, but it's not Jack.
    -
    a royalty au

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,732
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    365
  7. Tags
    Summary

    A Morrowind story about visibility.

    Iriel is a young, bitterly disillusioned Altmer scholar, struggling from one disaster to the next, never quite sure which is his worst enemy in life: the inadvisable men he keeps falling for, his own traumatised brain, or the universe in general. Or perhaps people in general. Things are so much easier when he's invisible to everyone, but it isn't a permanent solution to his problems. Is it? Is anything?

    Includes wild headcanoneering of various NPCs and content from the Julan Ashlander companion mod by kateri.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    300,524
    Chapters:
    181/200
    Comments:
    349
    Kudos:
    217
    Bookmarks:
    21
    Hits:
    3468
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Peter is a virgin desperate to explore his sexuality. Wade is an enthusiastic sex shop employee who knows just how to help.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,945
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    69
    Kudos:
    502
    Bookmarks:
    49
    Hits:
    2326
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Joohyun Bae is the president of their school's Christian Union. Seungwan Son just wants to wreck her so bad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    62,202
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    6
    Hits:
    942
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Lizzie's life is picking up until an accident changes everything and sends Drop Dead Fred to ask for the biggest favor imaginable in order to save her. Starts with the origin of how Fred became an imaginary friend. FredXLizzie pairing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    65,632
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    570
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Overwatch One-Shot requests that I take on tumblr, parings in the chapter title and warnings in the chapter notes

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,395
    Chapters:
    53/?
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    498
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    11558
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Infiltrating KaibaCorporation had been easier than expected, even if it involved using rather unorthodox measures, but apparently there are even things Dartz doesn’t know about…

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,938
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    135
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Saitama was the strongest hero in the ranks yet humble about his god like powers. Levi is humanities strongest yet will never reveal how he became so strong in the first place.
    Two grown men with unbelievable strength and skills in the battlefield; yet somehow all alone in the world. Could something form between these two?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,828
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    331
  14. Tags
    Summary

    I LITERALLY HAVE DONE THIS CRACK AU WITH SO MANY DIFFERENT FANDOMS YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

    Turns out Zarkon and Alfor are still chill with each other only Alfor is still dead and he's a hollogram. Also all the character except Alfor, Coran, Jeremy Shada, and Zarkon are 9. Yes this was inspired by South Park. This was also an AU that I have written crack fics to since I was in 5th grade to multiple fandoms.
    They are all fourth graders. Zarkon is the teacher. Alfor is the counselor along with Coran. Jeremy Shada is the principal. Lol good luck.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,137
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    92
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    546
  15. Tags
    Summary

    For every world that exist thousands of possibilities of little changes that can create a new one in its place . It's a scary thought that can keep me up at night. Since in my nightmares, I can see those possibilities. That for every dark story theirs a brighter ending to be made is what keeps me going. That as long you are determined and willing move forward you are sure to make it out of any situation and everything life has thrown at you .

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,171
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1729
  16. Tags
    Summary

    ‘I’m watching the Bachelorette,’ said Felix, ‘-and eating my feelings.'

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,849
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    22
    Hits:
    187
  17. Tags
    Summary

    "You have a sick mind Ford" said Stanley glaring at his brother with judgement

    "It's for "research" Stan!" lied Stanford.

    An AU where years ago many ghouls left Japan for safety and many ended up on the USA soils and CCG don't exist... a handful of ghouls are in Gravity Falls and it's mating season for the ghouls... Stanford often watches them for "research" and often gives them their "food" before and after the mating process before he was sucked into a portal... when he come back he goes back to his old habit until he was found out about his weird habit...

    Meanwhile Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy investigating the mysterious yearly "tourists" in Gravity Falls and Preston Northwest was planning to create a resort on the breeding grounds... They unknowingly made the ghouls furious ...especially since they are in heat...

    "Never interrupt a ghoul mating process..."-Stan Pines
    "you could get eaten or worst" -Ford Pines

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,594
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    97
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    6090
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Now that Momo thought about it, having sharp teeth like Rin's would be really inconvenient, wouldn't it?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    845
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    26
  19. Tags
    Summary

    To: Shimi
    hey, quick question, do you think I might be gay?
    From: Shimi
    Sawamura's thighs?
    To: Shimi
    oh wtf
    From: Shimi
    Am I wrong?

    --

    All Sugawara wants is a little inspiration.
    All Daichi wants is for his regulars to finally pay off their tab.
    All everyone else wants is to drink good liquor and watch as their best friends struggle.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    508,320
    Chapters:
    53/?
    Comments:
    1890
    Kudos:
    2348
    Bookmarks:
    355
    Hits:
    38307
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Growing up in a society with expectations, will cause there to be little imperfections. So as a way to get rid of them, they are locked away from society, to be fixed and brought back as someone new. But what I locking them away causes them to sin more than they have before. What happens then?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,546
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    189

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