1 - 20 of 243 Works in Dick Jokes

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Alexander has a really annoying alarm that wakes both him and Thomas in the early hours and it's driving Thomas insane

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    505
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    33
    Hits:
    528
  2. Tags
    Summary

    A Morrowind story about visibility.

    Iriel is a young, bitterly disillusioned Altmer scholar, struggling from one disaster to the next, never quite sure which is his worst enemy in life: the inadvisable men he keeps falling for, his own traumatised brain, or the universe in general. Or perhaps people in general. Things are so much easier when he's invisible to everyone, but it isn't a permanent solution to his problems. Is it? Is anything?

    Includes wild headcanoneering of various NPCs and content from the Julan Ashlander companion mod by kateri.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    216,004
    Chapters:
    141/?
    Comments:
    175
    Kudos:
    136
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1902
  3. Tags
    Summary

    There was a point in Sai's life—very recently, in fact—when he would have done anything to belong to an actual clan. He’s never had a wish come back to bite him in the ass quite this hard before.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,295
    Chapters:
    1/5
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    366
    Bookmarks:
    82
    Hits:
    2166
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Kyouken
    what is this

    hanger tooru
    a team group chat <3

     

    Kyoutani Kentarou has left the group

     


    [Seijou has a group chat. It doesn't go well.]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,131
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    147
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Yuuri has fallen. From Heaven, and for his idol, Victor Nikiforov.
    As Yuuri finds his true self and learns to hold the world in the palm of his hand, Heaven is reeling at the loss of their youngest angel. When Yuuri has to choose between his love and his duty, what will happen?
    (I am bad at summaries, but this is the first story I'm actually proud of.)
    I am an atheist and only know bits and pieces about angels and Heaven so please be gentle. I am all for constructive criticism, though.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,521
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    136
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    1497
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Before they were Overwatch Gabriel and Jack busted omniums for the UN military. There's just one problem with busting omniums is that even when everything goes according to plan that just means it's going to go to shit.

    Also, Jack has cat ears.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,353
    Chapters:
    5/7
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    229
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    3743
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Oikawa Tooru is absolutely taken with his new co-worker, Iwaizumi Hajime. He decides that the best way to woo him would be to spam his inbox with space puns and way too many pictures of his cat. 

    The focus is on Iwaizumi/Oikawa; heavy background emphasis on Bokuto, Kuroo, Tsukishima and Akaashi; rotating background characters of Sugawara, Daichi, Nishinoya, Asahi, Tanaka, Kyoutani, Yahaba, Kenma, Lev and Terushima.

    Updates Weekly (day of the week may vary).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    190,862
    Chapters:
    98/100
    Comments:
    2927
    Kudos:
    2239
    Bookmarks:
    286
    Hits:
    41524
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Jason was okay with seeing the world in blue.

    He didn't want to have a soulmate.

    He didn't, really.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,873
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    928
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Kurt needs cheering up and Puck has a failproof plan: a dick joke.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    800
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    324
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It’s a beautiful, breezy evening when Marie Mjolnir checks her phone and sees that she has thirty, yes, THIRTY unread text messages from one Spirit Albarn, all featuring his readily unimpressive schlong with the question of ‘Which should I send my date?’.

    In a fit of what has to be the most annoyance and irritation she had ever felt, she retaliated by giving him his answer in the form of making a blog rating the pictures he sent her of his wiener. What she didn’t expect was that she would start up the newest internet sensation, spending her days rating various wieners. It’s only when she receives an all too appealing (to her) image of a rather studded Anaconda, the only image she grants a sparkling A+, that the real Boloney Pony ride begins.

    Of course, everyone save for her know that it belongs to Frank Stein, owner and head piercer at Needle and a Thread tattoo shop, as well as Marie’s best friend and crush of over a decade. But, of course, what would any decent story be without some kind of misconception?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,283
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    31
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    235
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Even making out with Sonja like her lips had some kind of life force that he needed. Or some shit. It didn’t matter to Isak. No, he was chill.

     

    Alternatively, what could have happened at the rave pre-game.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,988
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    117
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1730
  12. Tags
    Summary

    jin (18:19): anyways now that the 2 “fuckweasels” have stopped texting i need to ask y'all a serious question

    hoseok (18:19): what

    yoongi (18:19): What

    namjoon (18:19): What?

    jeongguk (18:19): what

    jin (18:19): hey macklemore can we go thrift shopping

    yoongi (18:19): I hate this fucking family

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,303
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1004
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Bucky wouldn't say that he's necessarily active in the LGBTQIA club on campus. He's not the kind of guy that runs around waving the rainbow flag like it's going out of style or screaming to everyone just how actually super gay he is.

     

    Prompt: The guy with the bibles on the quad has cornered me and is screaming about hell, please rescue me.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,248
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    80
    Kudos:
    351
    Bookmarks:
    91
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Two days after Humans Who Read Altean --

    In the time since the last mission, it seems that Lance has taken a blow to his ego, Hunk has made a major discovery, Pidge has collected more data, and Keith is just now hearing about any of this. Coran and Allura learn something new about humans, and Shiro is challenged, but again, manages not to facepalm.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,417
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    67
    Bookmarks:
    6
  15. Tags
    Summary

    "...Why, my dear husband...I am glad to think that in your eyes, I am a woman of more beauty than a goddess. But I pray tell, which goddess might you mean? Lovely Aphrodite?" Emilia flashed a coy smile into the looking glass and silently praised herself, in pleasurable guilt, for the alluring tones she had managed to achieve in her voice. "Ay, you flatter me much."

    The story of Othello and Desdemona is one of passion burning too strong-- of idle thoughts twisting into suspicions wild and imaginations raging with jealousy and fervent desire to be taken at one's chaste word. The story of Emilia and Iago is a quieter tale, of sinister machinations and a shared madness that sinks its thorny claws in deep and drags hapless souls together into a mire that is either love, or insanity, or hatred...or everything of nothing first created.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,806
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    68
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Anon said: I have an unhealthy obsession with jealouslock help and then this just sort of happened.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1502
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Anna Strong is trying desperately to live up to her name as she juggles a struggling tea shop, a sort-of-ex who quite frankly needs to stop smiling at her like that, and a heap of debts. Edmund Hewlett is a newly-transplanted lawyer still finding his place in this new city. This is a story about new love, making peace with the past, and finding common ground between two strong-willed, opinionated people who are extremely different and yet perhaps, in the end, very much alike.

    Because every ship needs—nay, DESERVES—a coffee tea shop modern AU. Will contain roughly 40% plot, 40% fluff, a splash of angst, occasional sexytimes, manifold heartfelt discussions about the natural sciences and sociopolitical philosophy, and more tea blends than you can shake a musket at.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    176,335
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    515
    Kudos:
    335
    Bookmarks:
    42
    Hits:
    5088
  18. Tags
    Summary

    A rune knight, out of MP and low in HP, is taken by surprise and held by spells and enchantments by a high-leveled celebrity incubus. Said rune knight mistaken eating for cannibalism because of too much information loaded in his brain.

     

    [One-sided Underfell!Papyrus x Underfell!Mettaton]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,650
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    202
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Percy and Vex's blind date at the art museum leads to a Very Serious science experiment back at Percy's apartment.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,622
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1018
  20. Tags
    Summary

    What does one do when dropped into a video game world that they had always thought was fictional?

    Break all the rules? Follow them?

    Save everyone? No one?

    Does she stay out of the way and let things progress naturally? ... Or does she join in the adventure and become a hero?

    And when it's not just one but two?

    Oh boy, Thedas better brace itself.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42,229
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    136
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    2492

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