1 - 20 of 49 Works in Dick Jokes

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    He didn't like Armin in that way anymore, it was only in memories that they survived. What could he even like about that blond anyways? He's irritating, with his fucking gorgeous blond hair. And eyes that make you want to swim in blue pools of water. What a fucking asshole.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,515
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    262
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Josh thinks he gets the gist of the show when suddenly, Eric and Sookie are very naked and Eric is on top of her on the living room floor, and Josh raises an eyebrow. His dick is hard instantly – like, literally instantly, because a van full of men isn't exactly the best place to jerk off and the closest thing he's been to porn in the last two weeks is peeking at the newest issue of Front magazine they're in with Vikki Blows on the cover. Also, he's eighteen, and Anna Paquin's boobs, but also Alexander Skarsgard's butt, and Josh must look as overwhelmed as he feels because Dan snorts out a laugh.

    “You alright mate?” Dan asks.

    “You said there'd be blood and guts but you completely failed to mention the extremely graphic vampire on human sex,” Josh says, shifting a bit as Eric fucks Sookie from behind.

     
    or, it's 2009 and dan is really into this new vampire show called true blood.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    5
    Hits:
    30
  3. Tags
    Summary

    “Have you ever seen Freaky Friday ?” Stiles asks.

    “Yes.” Deaton says, the question clear in his voice.  

    “Well, welcome to Freaky Furday.

    Or, the one where Scott and Derek switch bodies.

    ETA: This story is no longer under hiatus. Posting is active.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,419
    Chapters:
    11/13
    Comments:
    108
    Kudos:
    205
    Bookmarks:
    52
    Hits:
    6112
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Prompt, "Don't Go -Dean Winchester".

    Determined to go down on Dick with their secret weapon, Sam and Dean first have to get through the last scrap of family they have left living -Castiel.

    The diminished angel won't let them fling their lives away, and tries to argue them out of taking Dick; whilst simultaneously feeling slightly shafted they won't let him come along for 'safety reasons'.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    473
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    30
  5. Tags
    Summary

    When Toby has a meltdown in the middle of the shoe department, Stiles has no idea what to do to calm him down.

    Derek provides a little helper.

    -

    An AU featuring tiny werewolves, awkward single dads, and an ill-timed clothing rack safari.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,538
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    86
    Kudos:
    1226
    Bookmarks:
    83
    Hits:
    9784
  6. Tags
    Summary

    For luck. Because, at this rate, that's all that will get the Normandy crew through the Collector campaign. With a commander more interested in getting laid than completing the mission, his friends come up with a neat solution.

    But where there's a will, there's a way...

    Set during ME2 with some references to the events of ME1.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,223
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    166
  7. Tags
    Summary

    One of Ymir's secret fetishes is chubby girls, and she takes time and money to train Sasha to be the perfect, round pet for her to play with on the side, with a diet heavy in freckled girl sausage.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,122
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    958
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Enjolras is bored and that is awesome.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,692
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    99
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    1773
  9. Tags
    Summary

    A follow up to Pros and CONs (you're going to want to read that one first). This is what happens at the next year's Supernatural Convention in Vegas. (set slightly further into the future)

    Or

    The one where Richard Speight Jr. gets all gliddy-gloopy, Kim Rhodes is still the most fantastic human being on the planet (with Genevieve Padalecki and Danneel Ackles as close seconds), Mark-fucking-Sheppard apparently went to medical school, everyone still has a potty mouth (again, the reason for the rating), Ty Olsson gets a bit of redemption, and Osric Chau believes he actually is Han Solo.

     

    And yeah, Jared Padalecki was sooo right about the hugs thing (even if he did totally fuck up the magic hat).

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,368
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    103
  10. Tags
    Summary

    "The kid sitting on the bed is wearing the new-boy grey uniform, his hair a mess and his eyes slightly red rimmed from crying... But he looks so young, is the thing, and Louis quickly decides he must have a short sentence and only robbed a candy store for some jelly beans."

     

     

     

    Or the one where Louis is a senior inmate in his block and it's his mission to take Harry's prison virginity.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,756
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    283
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    6605
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Talia tells Peter that if he doesn't find a mate himself, she has candidates for a match.

    “You’re such a drama queen, Peter. You’re my favorite brother and ideally, I’d like you to find true love, to find your true mate and raise a family and be happy forever. But at this point, you need to find someone you can tolerate to be mated with, who tolerates you and benefits the pack.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,595
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    142
    Kudos:
    746
    Bookmarks:
    162
    Hits:
    14153
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Hater aims for some "alone time" only to be rudely interrupted.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,206
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    17
    Hits:
    287
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Numbers usually bottoms. Every now and then Wrench will bottom, but they don’t do it very often because Wrench is super sensitive, so things get really intense when he bottoms. And they like to be someplace safe/familiar because of that (i.e. not a random hotel on a job).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    832
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    557
  14. Tags
    Summary

    - Что, Хиджиката-сан, член отсох?
    Яойным додзинси посвящается.
    Написано для команды Гинтоки/Хиджиката на SMWars-2014.

    Language:
    Русский
    Words:
    3,260
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    50
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Dean Winchester was dead, gone, in the ground and shipped off to hell. It had been 4 months. And he wasn't coming back. Or at least that's the way it was supposed to be.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,096
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    32
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    856
  16. Tags
    Summary

    'Does he know someone could easily accidentally call him Dick Lover?'
    'I'll keep that in mind and ask him next time I see him.'
    'Okay, thanks, Firecrotch.'

    In response to a prompt asking for Ian telling his co-workers what a badass his husband (Mickey) is, and when they meet him for the first time, Mickey is nothing but nice and calls Ian cute pet names.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,104
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    55
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1636
  17. Tags
    Summary

    'Focaccia bread?'
    'The fuck is that?'

    In response to a prompt asking for Ian and Mickey to celebrate after Mickey (finally) gets a job after living in New York for 2 years.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    813
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1008
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Part 6 of an inappropriately hilarious collection of the most epic bromance of the Naruto series.

    As punishment for drawing penises on the Hokage's face, Kotetsu and Izumo are forced to stand in on a serious discussion about the Land of Wood.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,064
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    2
  19. Tags
    Summary

    I'm apparently on a roll today.

    Part 5 of an inappropriately hilarious collection of the most epic bromance of the Naruto series.

    Tsunade is passed out. "We have to fuck with her." So Kotetsu gets the permanent marker, and the two friends begin playing with fire.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,583
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    2
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Part 4 of an inappropriately hilarious collection of the most epic bromance of the Naruto series.

    Kotetsu bets he can use Izumo's 24-pack of condoms before they expire in two weeks. Izumo knows he's got this. There's no way he can lose that bet. Right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,705
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    3

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