1 - 20 of 62 Works in Dick Jokes

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    [Reposting by pairings due to some confusion!]
    Just a quick series of kinky drabbles. I'll expand more tags as I go. Some will be hardcore PWP, some will be fluff.
    Basically, really freakin' kinky. Kink is from Lords of acid- ABC's of Kinky sex.
    Going to be updating during the week.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,844
    Chapters:
    18/?
    Comments:
    28
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    6418
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Ian evens the playing field...but things get out of hand.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    816
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    136
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1506
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The produce isle though!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    332
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    88
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1435
  4. Tags
    Summary

    This is for Motionless In White requests!

    Chapter one is how to request! I'm also doing ones for other bands too! :)

    I write everything and anything!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    105
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Hits:
    146
  5. Tags
    Summary

    She was named for strength, but learned weakness. He's everything she's convinced herself not to hope for. But she hopes all the same.

    The romance path as experienced by a fearful Vashoth and a knight whose eyes are opening slowly.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,619
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    71
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    997
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Someday, Jace and Ral will have sex without someone walking in. Not today, though.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,322
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    61
  7. Tags
    Summary

    In which Levi and Hanji are an old married couple, Jean and Marco have a long-distance relationship, dating older is a sign of maturity, and Eren is an adorkable ball of precious out of character.

    Discontinued (read new chapter)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,320
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    40
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    976
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Spock approaches Pon Farr quickly, and can't deny himself the pleasures of his Captain lover. Guys, they fuck in a broom closet.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,948
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    1355
  9. Tags
    Summary

    (6:50) I thought you wouldn’t want to be left hanging re: my dick epic
    (6:51) Pun again unintended
    (6:52) And wow that makes it sound like I want to tell you the magnum opus of my own dick

     ***

    An AU in a modern setting where Edward and Winry don't know one another until he texts the wrong number.

    Inappropriately, naturally.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    58,791
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    197
    Kudos:
    212
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    3933
  10. Tags
    Summary

    He didn't like Armin in that way anymore, it was only in memories that they survived. What could he even like about that blond anyways? He's irritating, with his fucking gorgeous blond hair. And eyes that make you want to swim in blue pools of water. What a fucking asshole.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,374
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    78
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    2215
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Locke and Jean lose their memories and have a little adventure in Tal Verrar.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,219
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    219
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Elf loves Dwarf.
    Dwarf loves Elf.

    Wherein cross-species lovers are not exactly subtle, Faramir mutters some dirty talk in Numeanorian, Hobbits are not nearly as naïve as they seem, Sam is not so simple as you thought…and wherein love-stricken Legolas makes terrible, trilingual puns (not, however, always entirely on purpose).

    …Tolkien language fetishists of the internet, you’re welcome.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,887
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    996
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Based on a silly conversation, this is a special fic written for my special waifu for her special day. Happy birthday Lemonorangelime!!! I hope gives you so much happiness as you have given me! XD

    And now... Subway AU...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,537
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    58
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    553
  14. Tags
    Summary

    This is what happens when you shove Benedict Cumberbatch in a room with any number of his characters.

    PLEASE NOTE: there WILL be a sequel... currently being worked on, expect something in the next few days; subscribe to keep up to date!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,955
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    37
    Kudos:
    50
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    1284
  15. Tags
    Summary

    July 26, 2022. An accident in the lab leaves Newt with an identity crisis.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    138,687
    Chapters:
    22/22
    Comments:
    288
    Kudos:
    213
    Bookmarks:
    33
    Hits:
    4011
  16. Tags
    Summary

    “Who are Rhonda Hurley and Beth Grantham?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    730
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    62
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Josh thinks he gets the gist of the show when suddenly, Eric and Sookie are very naked and Eric is on top of her on the living room floor, and Josh raises an eyebrow. His dick is hard instantly – like, literally instantly, because a van full of men isn't exactly the best place to jerk off and the closest thing he's been to porn in the last two weeks is peeking at the newest issue of Front magazine they're in with Vikki Blows on the cover. Also, he's eighteen, and Anna Paquin's boobs, but also Alexander Skarsgard's butt, and Josh must look as overwhelmed as he feels because Dan snorts out a laugh.

    “You alright mate?” Dan asks.

    “You said there'd be blood and guts but you completely failed to mention the extremely graphic vampire on human sex,” Josh says, shifting a bit as Eric fucks Sookie from behind.

     
    or, it's 2009 and dan is really into this new vampire show called true blood.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,397
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    222
  18. Tags
    Summary

    “Have you ever seen Freaky Friday ?” Stiles asks.

    “Yes.” Deaton says, the question clear in his voice.  

    “Well, welcome to Freaky Furday.

    Or, the one where Scott and Derek switch bodies.

    ETA: This story is no longer under hiatus. Posting is active.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    72,420
    Chapters:
    11/13
    Comments:
    112
    Kudos:
    235
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    7458
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Prompt, "Don't Go -Dean Winchester".

    Determined to go down on Dick with their secret weapon, Sam and Dean first have to get through the last scrap of family they have left living -Castiel.

    The diminished angel won't let them fling their lives away, and tries to argue them out of taking Dick; whilst simultaneously feeling slightly shafted they won't let him come along for 'safety reasons'.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    473
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    57
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When Toby has a meltdown in the middle of the shoe department, Stiles has no idea what to do to calm him down.

    Derek provides a little helper.

    -

    An AU featuring tiny werewolves, awkward single dads, and an ill-timed clothing rack safari.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,538
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    133
    Kudos:
    2092
    Bookmarks:
    171
    Hits:
    18168

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