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  1. Tags
    Summary

    'Are you mad at your parents? Don't want to spend Thanksgiving alone yet again? Well then I'm your guy. Yes, a dude for hire.

    Just send me an email and we can talk and do this on your terms. And what’s that you say, no price? How is such a choice deal like this up with out a price. Well, just a warm meal and the promise of a couple hours of fun is enough for me.

    And, if you really want to spice things up, I can do any of the following upon your request.

    Act drunk
    Ask about politics at the table
    Propose
    Break up
    Start a fist fight with your father on the lawn for all to see
    Check out other family members while you pretend to not to notice.
    Anything you come up with as long as it’s relatively PG'
    [AKA john hires dave to piss of his family on thanksgiving]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,503
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    101
    Bookmarks:
    16
    Hits:
    1370
  2. Tags
    Summary

    AU with hints at sburb; warnings for violence and probably sex eventually; johnxdave, dirkxjake (hinted at), johnxdirk, davexjake

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,369
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    154
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The U.S. thought at first it was something that spread like H1N1, but something more severe brought in from another country--that it was something that could be fixed...They were so, so wrong. It became widely spread around the planet and you had to move out of Houston since the Corrupted wandered into town. That was thirty days ago.

    Thirty days and death is still new to you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    51,156
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    54
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    882
  4. Tags
    Summary

    My name is karkat vantas. I'm Hispanic and I don't answer calls. It's hot today and I'm going to the beach with my friend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,504
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    6
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Request: Pick some of your favorite characters and tell us how you met your Morial
    I don’t really remember how i met my Moirail, it’s been a long time since then. But I can tell you the story of how I met another of my best friends. Karkat is gonna be me, Dave is gonna be Tyler and Vriska is the asshat who brought us together. cx

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    933
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Hits:
    2
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Dirk Strider is living in the Aftermath of losing the only man he ever loved, will Dirk be able to pull himself together and move on, Maybe find happiness in his life again, or will Dirk let the pain he felt in his past define the rest of his life?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,979
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Kudos:
    14
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    372
  7. Tags
    Summary

    For ten years, Rimmer has been living the life of Ace. It hasn't been an easy ride, and still things get worse. As Simulants mess with dimensions, Rimmer's ship become badly damaged, and he unexpectedly finds himself back where he started out - in his home dimension, with Red Dwarf not far away...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,226
    Chapters:
    3/23
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    3
    Hits:
    35
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Doctor Equius Zahhak had no experience with kids. He had taken care of the trolls when they come in, sure, but he never had to raise anything. But suddenly, he must take care of a troll egg that was abandoned on the side of the road. This leads to misadventures, broken furniture, many stories, and so many Kit-Kat wrappers. It even leads to something that he never considered: him being in a quadrant with a troll. (Branches off of UFUT petstuck verse)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,534
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    1012
  9. Tags
    Summary

    -- ghostyTrickster [GT] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] --

    GT: hi!
    GT: umm this may sound weird, but it turns out i sorta created your universe!
    GT: it's a long story, but the point is we're in danger from something that came from your session and i may need your help!
    EB: JESUS FUCK, EGBERT, DID YOU SERIOUSLY CONTACT ME AT THE END OF MY TIMELINE TO TELL ME *THAT*?

    --

    The beta kids are trolls and the trolls are human. Some things stay the same. Other game-related disasters vary.

    Act 1: Four trolls play Sgrub, a morallegiance is made, and a murderous glitch sabotages the endgame.
    Act 2: Interspecies romance shenanigans occur over instant messaging despite the ever-present mortal danger lurking in both game sessions.
    Act 3: When the universe has been fucked from the start, a change in strategy may be in order.

    Series
    • Part 1 of C&V
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    152,869
    Chapters:
    40/?
    Comments:
    401
    Kudos:
    446
    Bookmarks:
    69
    Hits:
    10984
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Don't do things because others want you to. Resist them and fight.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    30,005
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    6
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    424
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Finn, Puck and Kurt explore new relationships, deepen their understanding of their own sexual identities, and struggle with finding a home to fit the entire family. Finn/Kurt/Puck, Carl/Finn, Adam/Puck/Kurt, Finn/Blaine. Dom/sub, discipline, polyamory.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    520,436
    Chapters:
    57/57
    Comments:
    222
    Kudos:
    73
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    7990
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Karkat Vantas. Since your all of your family has either died, was killed, or just up and left, you have been an orphan who was adopted by the infamous "problem sleuth" Spades Slick, and his lovely wife Ms.Paint. You soon begin to attend Huss High witch is hell on earth. You met a couple of your online "friends" there so it isn't that bad. Totally side tracking the bullying and all the death traps set up around the school. Then you meet a sexy tall ass white haired Texas douche named Dave fucking Strider. Will this be the best romance you've ever heard about? FUCK NO, but all though things start of kind of off between- what am I saying you and Stridick start out horribly. Yet you still get together and for once in your life you feel truly...happy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,569
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    23
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    246
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Moving away from Texas was a terrible decision. Buying the mansion overlooking Santa Barbara beach was a terrible decision. His life was full of terrible decisions- except for Jake. Saying yes was the best decision he ever made.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,819
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    222
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is JOHN EGBERT and you did NOTHING.
    You don't know how long you can keep up your FORCED SMILE or CHOKE on your TEARS.
    The CONSTANT SCREAMING doesn't seem to help either.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,678
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    185
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Mituna Captor, although your true name hardly matters anymore because to most you're simply the Helmsman.

    Your name is Jontan Egbert and you tried to make a change, but you failed. Now your close friend is dead, tortured because her blood was too bright a red. Now you're being wired into the ship of the Condesce herself, even though she already has a Helmsman.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    783
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    63
  16. Tags
    Summary

    A scream echoes in your ears, and your head snaps in the direction of the voice. Your eyes go wide and a single name echoes in your head, before you tear down the hall to find the source.

    John.

    ~*~

    AU where John and Jake are half-brothers and where Jake will do anything to protect his younger brother. There is no Sburb/Sgrub session, and human AU, so if/when there’s mention of the trolls, they’ll be human.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,609
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    21
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    278
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Meenah Peixes comes into power over the whole universe. No one's sure why but it's a pretty good excuse to write smut with the vaguest underpinnings of plot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,658
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    1497
  18. Tags
    Summary

    There comes a certain amount of complication to life when the world descends into a zombie apocalypse, but you certainly didn't sign up for watching your best friend die. When Jake is bitten it changes the course of you and your friends mission for survival, now you have to do it with a zombie in tow. Bad situations get worse however while compensating for Jake's new disposition, and when you begin to learn the true caliber of the pandemic and it's consequences while balancing demands from your past, you begin to wonder what it is that you're hoping for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,283
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    65
  19. Tags
    Summary

    your name is dave strider and jesus this is a cheesy way to stsrt a monologue. oh well, youre at the point of no return now. damn shits out the door and rolling with no hope of return. you dont think you mind too much considering youre a small child and dont really understand the concept of cheesy.

    oh well. today you fell in love with a boy named john.

    in your new school, theres a boy named john in your class. you met eyes to shades with him twice before you went to go talk to him. he called your shades dumb so you called him four eyes to which he started crying. its a classic love story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,992
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    41
  20. Tags
    Summary

    Au where Vriska is OP.

    ----

    Homestuck AU. Games over - sort of. Vriska travels through time to save all of her friends, but at the end of all the timelines, she ends up ‘dead’, later to be revived by Lord English for another round of time travel. This game ends only when Vriska survives until her birthday October 25th, she forfeits, or she loses by running out of time. Everytime she travels through time, she forgets stuff, and she gets fewer days in the next jump.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,543
    Chapters:
    33/?
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1621

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