1 - 20 of 612 Works in Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    When Rimmer mistakes 'areolas' for a Spanish goalkeeper, Lister decides that the hologram needs a lesson in proper terminology when it comes to the human body.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,702
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    20
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    147
  2. Tags
    Summary

    King Cat of Felisanya has become bored with his sex life. When his head concubine jokingly suggests that he try it with a man, he takes her seriously, and sets his eye on his new peace-offering from Britannia, a slave named David. Knowing that the King has a habit of killing unsatisfactory lovers, David’s eunuch – Krytel – suggests that he practice on another slave: a sullen man called Arnel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,350
    Chapters:
    8/?
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    106
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Sequel to 'Like Riding A Bike'.

    Lister's two most regular clients are causing him trouble, but things are about to get a lot more complicated.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,460
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    16
    Hits:
    346
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Arnold Rimmer faces his demons after the events in Siliconia.

    -----
    Mild spoilers for Siliconia Red Dwarf XII

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,018
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    144
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Spoilers for Series XII, episode 2 - 'Siliconia'

    Still suffering the effects of the mind transfusion, Rimmer lets slip his biggest secret.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,084
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    36
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    207
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Why would Rimmer suddenly refuse to sleep in his bunk?
    (Set directly after Cured.)

    --- Spoilers for Red Dwarf XII Cured!! ---

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    567
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    15
    Hits:
    156
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Will Lister and Rimmer get their shit together to face the sexual chemistry between them? And with the arrival of Nirvanah Crane, does it even matter anymore?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,389
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    119
  8. Tags
    Summary

    SO SMEGGING HYPED YOU GUYS/GIRLS/NON-BINARY IT IS MERE HOURS AWAY NOW AAAARGH

    ~based on a discussion had a while ago about whether or not it was necessary or politically correct to emphasise Lister’s accent through phonetic spelling (TL;DR - very good points made on classism, racism, etc), combined with a pun from the Goodness Gracious Me live show~

    Barely beta'd, slammed out whilst watching cartoons because why not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    901
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    82
  9. Tags
    Summary

    It's blue, because of course it smegging is.

    An introspective Rimmer contemplates life through the medium of poorly-made jewellery.

    (Written to celebrate the doubtless delight that will be series XII. Rimmer/Lister established.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    910
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    121
  10. Tags
    Summary

    What's a guy to do when Hitler likes them just a little bit too much?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,017
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    170
  11. Tags
    Summary

    The Boys from the Dwarf with a blood-curdling, side-splitting twist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,766
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    146
    Kudos:
    39
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    767
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Rimmer leaves Red Dwarf and finds himself on an artificial world called Genesis - his only companion is the planet's caretaker, Exuberant Witness.

    Dedicated to Paul C. Giachetti. He was my long term beta for Holoman. Without him, I don’t think it would’ve been as great as it is and these side stories, even Fragments, wouldn’t exist.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,844
    Chapters:
    5/7
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    13
    Hits:
    159
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Sex, Lister had once rather eloquently surmised to himself, was like Indian cuisine. Sure, it was wonderful to sit down at the table to a delicately-crafted, three-course exotic meal (resplendent with chutneys and pakoras) that took the entire evening to lovingly savour. But sometimes what you desperately craved was to devour a deliciously-disgusting, chilli-sauce-soaked kebab up against the wall of an alley.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,387
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    168
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Desperate for touch, Rimmer and Lister come to an arrangement.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,401
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    20
    Kudos:
    43
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    327
  15. Tags
    Summary

    “Told you I'd be back for breakfast,” comes the trademark Ace drawl before the Rimmer's familiar nasal voice rings out. “Oh sod it, yes it's me.”

    “Goal-post Head?” the Cat stares between Lister and Rimmer. “I thought he – you - were dead?”

    “I lied,” Rimmer says bluntly. “Look do you think we could talk about this later? It's just that it's a very long story and I've just dodged three smegging simulant warships to get here.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,781
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    174
  16. Tags
    Summary

    When Jadoo GELFs kidnap the last human, they didn't think to reckon with who might come to get him back.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,339
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    19
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    157
  17. Tags
    Summary

    What if Lister hadn't just been driving a cab, when he first met Rimmer on Mimas? A re-imagining of Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,137
    Chapters:
    13/?
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    93
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    1516
  18. Tags
    Summary

    There'll always be a Rimmer and a Lister.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,739
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    21
    Hits:
    125
  19. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of my drabbles and ficlets posted on LJ and Tumblr which I shall add to as and when I scribble more. Chapters are named after the prompt I was given.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,595
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    86
  20. Tags
    Summary

    An ever-growing collection of various short ficlets I've written based on prompts.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,533
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    12
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    91

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