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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Humans are pets. Felonies, to be exact. Shop lifting is one thing, but assault and parking tickets are another. It's all in your record. Felonies are over flowing prisons, and even though prisons make money off of their sorry asses, they could be making quick cash. By selling them off, of course.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,311
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Kudos:
    17
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    443
  2. Tags
    Summary

    *gaSPU*
    I LIVE

     

    Okay, so, a sad notice. This was a very popular fanfiction of mine and it was at 799 hits. That was so much for me, I was so excited. And then I accidentally deleted it, it was terrible. I never felt more heartbroken. I took a very long time off from ao3, but now I'm back and I still have everything.

    So, I'm reposting. I'll add more tags as I go along.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,715
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    38
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    381
  3. Tags
    Summary

    "Your useless flailing has knocked the monitor off the desk and onto your head. Now, it may be you brand new concussion seeing things, but it looks like there is text forming across the screen.

    Isaac and his bros lived alone in a small apartment in a highrise. Isaac kept to himself, drawing comics with his big bro and playing with puppets while his bigger bro mixed tracks from Christian broadcasts into his D.J. sets ironically. Life was simple, and they all were happy. That is, until bigger bro heard a voice from beside him…

    Ok, yeah, you can work with that."

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,855
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    9
    Hits:
    138
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Bro thought hipsters were the worst part of his day, until some snobby rich kid decided to start fucking with him. What happens next finds Bro drafted into the war between self control and crippling desire. And he's not sure which side he should be on.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,532
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Comments:
    174
    Kudos:
    431
    Bookmarks:
    70
    Hits:
    8375
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Your name is Jane Egbert, and you are eight years old. Today your father sits you down on the sofa, his pipe in his mouth and informs you that your grandmother has died. You look at the jar of ashes on the mantlepiece and think that this is not news to you.

    “No, Jane,” he tells you, “your other grandmother. Your mother’s mother.”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,092
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    350
  6. Tags
    Summary

    The job will be nearly impossible. Karkat Vantas - as skilled an assassin as he may be - has never been assigned such a high risk target. But the pay drives him to accept. He will kill the heir to the Dersite throne, and live like a king for the rest of his life. It should have been straightforward and emotionless. When he meets a peasant on the street and gets attached, however, he begins to question whether or not the risk is worth it when all he needs is Dave.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    97,009
    Chapters:
    20/?
    Comments:
    92
    Kudos:
    133
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1955
  7. Tags
    Summary

    In a universe where just about everyone sees in black and white until first contact with their Soul Mate, Dirk Strider doesn't really understand when he walks into someone and they ask him if he sees the colours. Striders have always seen in colour. Of course, that doesn't mean he can ignore how hot the male feels when they touch.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,021
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    5
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    133
  8. Tags
    Summary

    One shots in John's POV. First 2 chapters are out of order though

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,490
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    34
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    609
  9. Tags
    Summary

    UNSG Moreau had not been a science fiction fan before getting involved in politics. He is even less of one now that real live aliens have contacted Earth.

    Otherwise known as a bunch of non-game humans suddenly have to deal with Trolls.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,281
    Chapters:
    35/35
    Comments:
    1907
    Kudos:
    1565
    Bookmarks:
    191
    Hits:
    23234
  10. Tags
    Summary

    When his best friend anounce him he discovered himself a younger brother, John really couldn't have imagined it'd evolve this way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,746
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    53
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Rose accidentally gets pregnant...WITH JOHNS CHILD???!!! Then a few years later John meets Karkat and they fall in love. There's memes, really gay Karkat, and beautiful Johnkat.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,457
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    6
    Hits:
    48
  12. Tags
    Summary

    They had did it, they had won... so why don't the other's remember? Why are they back on earth with their powers? What the hell is going on?

    John, Dave, Jake, Roxy and Karkat are the only ones who remember the game. That and their powers are still with them and they seem to be in another goddamn universe, so many things are different. They have families now that don't know anything about the game, Dave having to deal with two brothers at the same time now and John dealing having his dad back things are hard for the 5 of them and watch them try to live a somewhat normal life.

    However it seems that their fighting days are over as the Condesce keeps sending drones and imps keep appearing! So they form a secret group that will try their hardest to keep Earth safe!

    But the Condesce is coming and their friends and family become more and more suspicious, oh how their lives are soo complicated!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,064
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Kudos:
    12
    Hits:
    101
  13. Tags
    Summary

    It should have been alright. You won! You finally got to go home, after three long years.

    But three long years of having bigger things to worry about than your own personal shit and suddenly having no distractions whatsoever can really fuck a kid up.


    A post-SBURB thing I came up with because I see so much angsty stuff for, say, Dave and Karkat, but what about John? Causing the apocalypse, losing his dad, dying twice, and constantly fighting for his life, all on his birthday, and then never talking about it??? Yeah, I'd say that's pretty much the perfect recipe for some angsty shit right there.

    aka john finally has to deal with the fact that he never actually grieved over his dad.

    I'm also not exactly sure how to rate this??? There's no nsfw so I'm just gonna keep it at teen and up and call it good.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,423
    Chapters:
    2/?
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    41
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    325
  14. Tags
    Summary

    There is a hunter encampment run by Dadbert near a demon hive run by the Striders. Demon Dirk and Dave meet John and Jake in the woods one day, unfortunately John and Jake are hunters, ready to kill off demons on sight. Could these men become unlikely friends? Or will they stay enemies forever?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,134
    Chapters:
    6/?
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    28
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    534
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Derse and Prospit are two kingdoms engaged in a war that spans generations, with neither side showing signs of slowing the bloody stalemate any time soon. Yet, the tides of war may be set to change when the prince of Derse, second in line for the throne, is presented to the royal family of Prospit as a gift. Will the battle rage on with the chained prince reduced to a pawn? Or will an heir of Prospit seek to tip the board and start anew with the enemy at his side?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    59,752
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    51
    Kudos:
    310
    Bookmarks:
    48
    Hits:
    3653
  16. Tags
    Summary

    When news of the famed explorer Jake Harley's death spreads to the suburbs of Washington, John and his dad take in the girl he left behind. Promptbound fill.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,025
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    60
    Bookmarks:
    10
    Hits:
    1105
  17. Tags
    Summary

    The young prince of Prospit met the youngest prince of Derse for the first time when he was four years old, at a banquet to celebrate the coronation of the new king of Derse. The more times they meet, the closer they become, as Derse's Seer foretold after their very first meeting. But does her prophecy hold any real merit, or is it just a coincidence that the Prospit prince can't seem to stay away from the red eyed Derse prince?

    (Johndave week 2017, day 7, "Prospit and Derse")

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,908
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    141
  18. Tags
    Summary

    For years, John has wanted to help Dave out of his shitty living situation and for years Dave has wanted nothing more than to get out. After he turns eighteen, Dave gets on the first flight he can to Washington, where he finally gets to meet his boyfriend face to face for the first time. And he's even cuter in person.

    Written for day 6 of johndaveweek 2017 - different headcanons

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,713
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    26
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    208
  19. Tags
    Summary

    John and Dave are both juniors in high school. Even though they have this year and the next left, both feel like time is wearing thin. Neither believes they’ll live to see past nineteen. Jade out of all of them is the most scared to death of losing all of her friends. Rose knows her life is going to be swept away into self-expectations made out of spite.
    What do you have to do to get to feel alive?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,399
    Chapters:
    1/?
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    1
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    13
  20. Tags
    Summary

    A story about a boy who falls in love with his penpal best friend, meets him for the first time, and waxes poetic about how attractive his best friend is while his best friend sleeps. Which boy am I talking about, though? (spoilers: it's both of them)

    The same story, told in three separate points of view.

    (Johndave week 2017, day 5, "Free Space")

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,182
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    88

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